Mothering contributor DeAnna Scott, 48, is the mother of twins, Robert and Phoebe (born via a traditional surrogacy in June 2013). DeAnna is a p/t photographer and full-time mom. Her work is featured on a monthly basis. Copyright Scott Photography
by Nancy La-Mar Rodgers
The November Dilemma
November has always seemed to me to be like a crossroad month. It is both fall and winter in its weather. But essentially November for most of us means a time for thanks as we gear up for the upcoming holidays and a time for grieving as we officially let go of Autumn’s beauty and move into the more stark landscape.
November begins on the first with an acknowledgment of a religious holiday, All Souls Day, or as the nuns used to say, the cleansing of that horrible day prior, Halloween. But what is it about November that leaves us lingering, in the beginning of the month, lost and fragile? What is it about November that leaves us feeling delicate and brittle? How can we make sense in this preparation month, of our crazy, busy “to do” lists? But more importantly, why can’t we enjoy it for what it is; a kind, gentle introduction to the mayhem to come. […]
by Marc Parsont
“She who must be obeyed,” blames my son’s bad table manners (and manners in general) on my lack of couth and a poor upbringing. I agree that I lack myriad social graces, but my wife disagrees that my atrocious manners stem from my difficult upbringing as a single child. My brother disagrees with this interpretation as well.
(With that in mind…) I am going to use my dismal table manners to teach your family, children and adults alike, the proper way to enjoy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving preparations begin with Halloween. Apart from problems such as stroke and coronary disease, everyone needs to start eating twice as much food as they normally do. […]
Jo-Ann Rogan
We are quickly approaching the stimulus overload, food holidays. These holidays clash completely with my kids and their special needs.
In the short time my kids have been alive we have spent three holidays in an emergency room. Three. The first one came as my youngest was just being diagnosed with his five anaphylactic food allergies. We were at the playground over a long holiday weekend.
My son, then a toddler, decided to sample a peanut butter sandwich that was on the tray of a stroller. He wound up having an anaphylaxis and I used his Epi-pen on him to save his life. Every single professional I encountered at the hospital told me over and over that I had saved my son’s life that day. It is something I can never forget. […]
by Nancy LaMar-Rodgers
I Just Don’t Cook
I excel at other things. Planning, making and serving large family dinners have never been one of my fortes. My family, however, had other ideas the year my dad passed away and I found myself pregnant with my son.
I was about 8 weeks in when my family thought it might be a good idea to have Thanksgiving at my house. Having never hosted a family holiday (that was my sisters’ jobs), I wasn’t sure I was up for the task but being hormonally challenged at the time, I agreed. That was my first mistake; as I undoubtedly would have to host this dinner, sober.
Murphy’s Law
So I shopped for the big bird. Strangely enough, in my newfound mindset of maternal musings, I found myself actually looking forward to this event and contemplating place settings and intricate autumnal table décor. Thankfully those latter thoughts passed quickly. […]
by Lori Pelikan Strobel
All of a sudden it becomes “the holidays” as I turn my calendar to November. I begin to think, Oh, my, how did it get here so quickly again? The beautiful leaves have fallen and now make a dull brown carpet beneath my feet. I rush to remove them to make way for the first white snowfall.
The wind seems to blow stronger and my bones begin to feel weaker as the coldness settles into them. Darkness drops its curtain hastily, as if it’s advising me to prepare for what lies ahead. I snuggle into the couch and sigh, “It’s too cold and dark to go back outside.” The house glows from the flames in the fireplace and the thoughts that the season of family is here warms my heart. The holiday season of bounty is before me. […]
by Suzanne Braun Levine
Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite day of the year. The way I do it, it has all the advantages of a holiday with none of the oppressive side-effects. There are no presents, so there is no guilt or financial stress. The food is wonderful and comforting (with lots of leftovers). I can enjoy a jello mold or sweet potatoes with marshmallows without shame. The participants are so ill-assorted that there is no way it could be called a dinner party, so there is little worry about maintaining my cool. Moreover, there is no chance that anyone can mix up the date and ring the doorbell a day early. And somehow family is absorbed into the chaos and the calories in a way that tension is neutralized. The pleasure I feel as I gaze around the table is a far cry from the anxiety family life usually brings. Or used to. […]
by Maggie Lamond Simone
Dear Reader: Maggie would like you to know that while she wrote this a few years ago, and she is now 50, the situation is still the exact same…and her mother still cooks the turkey.
I’m not what you’d call Tradition Girl.
In fact, I don’t have very many holiday habits that would even be considered “traditions,” and I think it’s partly because I married and had kids late. There were many years in there spent with roommates, friends, dates, and by myself, and I’m probably single-handedly responsible for misplacing every tradition my parents might have once had. […]
Susan Newman, Ph.D.
When I am trying to make sure the turkey doesn’t dry out or the potato casserole doesn’t burn, the last thing I want to hear is my daughters arguing about a ten-year-old slight or difference.
Whether you are the host or a guest, family holidays resurrect memories and emotions – both happy and troublesome. The added stress that comes with the holidays increases most everyone’s sensitivity. Your daughter announces she is spending the holiday with her in-laws; your brother claims the distance is too great to spend the holiday at your house. Divorced parents? With which one do you celebrate? Even if you worked out these details years ago, another issue will crop up to raise your hackles and test your mettle. Holidays touch a nerve and in the process your expectations can get squashed or dented. […]
by Maggie Lamond Simone
The holidays are upon us once again, the season of family, of gatherings, of traditions. The season, in most people’s lives, of hope.
Our tradition at Thanksgiving had been for many years to head to a lodge in the country with my mother’s family; aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews would converge and catch up and try to store up enough memories to last for the coming year. One year, however, a favorite aunt was no longer there, and the tradition gradually died with her. It simply wasn’t the same without her, and so things changed. […]