Phyllis Goldberg Archives - Mothering in the Middle

Mother’s Day: Five Tips to Caring for a Mom Who Never Really Took Care of You

By Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Are you dreading Mother’s Day again this year and worrying about what to do for your mom? Perhaps you have never been close or are now estranged and feeling angry. Have you cut the mother-daughter ties and ignore the day, but remain resentful and sad? Or do you pretend everything is OK and give her a gift anyway?

Even though the media lead us to believe that all mothers deserve flowers and chocolates, if you don’t have a good relationship, this ‘special’ day can be agonizing. […]

Smile and Be Happier

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D., and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D

This year, March 20^this the first day of spring. And if that’s not enough to please you, the third annual International Day of Happiness falls on the same day. The United Nations General Assembly made it official by recognizing wellbeing as a fundamental right of people throughout the world.

Remember when Grammy Award winning musician Pharrell Williams teamed up with the UN Foundation to put some synergy in motion? The focus of the online happening was his infectious song “Happy.” You can watch funky videos from all over the world or listen to a jazz rendition.

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Have the Winter Blues? 8 Tips for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Winter weather is often cold, dark and dreary – with little chance of a break for months. The transition back from the holiday season with its increased activity and social engagement – parties, gift giving, family time, vacations – can be an emotional letdown, bringing on the January blues. For 10% of Americans, this is exacerbated by “SAD,” Seasonal Affective Disorder, triggered by the brain’s response to the reduction in sunlight.

“Sandwiched Boomers” may feel an even greater strain, with extra pressures of caring for growing children and aging parents. If you think you might have SAD, consult your physician for an evaluation. A diagnosis can be made when your mood, energy level and motivation are all down during the winter months. You may be sleeping and eating more than usual, craving carbohydrates – this can lead to weight gain, which is depressing in itself. […]

Millennials and the Holiday Spirit

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Although it may be the holiday season, as far as presents go that doesn’t mean a whole lot to Millennials. Like so many other issues, they have their own ideas about gift giving. Apparently what they want is cash, mostly to pay down college costs and other debt.

So much for the negative stereotype that those born between 1980 and 2000 are lazy and have a sense of entitlement. Millennials are laboring under a collective $1 trillion in debt from student loans and still struggling to find jobs. Yet a survey of 6,500 members of the so-called ‘Me Generation’ indicates that last year well over half of them made donations to charitable causes and volunteered their time. […]

8 Tips For Boomer Women To Better Enjoy Their Friendships

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

We can say without a doubt that intimate friendships have always been important to women. But have you noticed that they’ve become even more so as you face the transitions of children growing up and parents growing older?

Findings from a recent MacArthur Foundation Study indicate that the emotional security and social support that these relationships provide for women have been a survival strategy for them in adversity. In fact, friendship is one of the keys to a long and more satisfying life. […]

Care-giving 101: Boomers Beware

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Courtesy caregiver.org

What an unfortunate end to a terrific week at the lake, with all our kids and grandsons, celebrating our patriarch’s birthday. During one final swim, my husband slipped on the dock, had to have surgery on a fracture through the knee joint and is now only 10 days into an 8-12 week stint of no weight bearing. And yes, living in a 2^nd floor walk-up, we’re both counting!

When life moves along as usual we tend to feel bad for those who are injured by trauma and their caretakers but don’t really give much thought to the challenges they’re facing. As with so many other circumstances, it’s only through experience that we really know how it feels. […]

GEMS for Working Moms

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Is your life an endless cycle, revolving around work and taking care of the kids? If so, you’re not alone. In a recent study by the Families and Work Institute, ½ of American women say they don’t have enough time to spend on themselves and for the activities they enjoy. We all know that saying ‘yes’ to more responsibility can make us feel safer with the boss and help us avoid conflict in the family. But too often ‘yes’ is our default mode with just about everything. […]

Brain Fog and Menopause

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Jokes about menopause often get a laugh. But if you’re a woman approaching a certain age, hot flashes and memory issues aren’t so funny. It’s comforting to know that researchers are taking this seriously – a new study indicates that menopausal memory lapses are normal.

According to the results from the University of Illinois and Northwestern University, concerns about memory are not a figment of your imagination. Subjects who reported difficulties remembering did not perform as well on objective cognitive tests. And it took those who experienced more hot flashes and more negative emotions longer to solve memory problems. […]

Managing, Not Marking Time

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Do you sometimes feel like time is getting away from you? I make list after list of what I want to accomplish each day – and often get a large chunk completed – but never seem to get everything done. Now that I make my lists on my PDA, it’s easier to just change the date and roll the reminders over to the next day. Yet the sense of satisfaction that I feel when I do finish a project is a great motivator to become more focused so that I can attain more of my goals each day. […]

Parenting After Weiner-gate: Talking to Your Kids About Lying

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Anthony Weiner is no longer front-page news now that he has again been disgraced by his behavior. As a parent what can you make from Weinergate, that perfect storm mix of politics, power, sexting and lying?

The media frenzy over the ex-Congressman’s behavior provides a clear teachable moment for our teens. Given the dramatic effects of the inappropriate messages and photos he sent and the devastating results of his untruthful words, we can talk to our kids about the serious consequences of making bad decisions. […]