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Dear Reader: I first became interested in open adoption in 1985 when, in my clinical practice, I worked with two little guys adopted from foster care.  These boys, ages 7 and 8, were tormented by unanswered questions about their first mother, “Susie,”  who suffered from mental illness and drug addiction. 

Susie’s parental rights had been involuntarily terminated due to her abusive neglect of her young sons.  A loving couple had recently adopted the boys, yet the kids continued to struggle; hence, their referral for psychotherapy with me, an adoption specialist.  The boys could not understand why they could have no contact whatsoever with Susie, as they worried endlessly about whether or not she was still alive, or if they would ever see her again.  Listening to my young clients, I too wondered why it would be so awful for them to at the very least be able to contact Susie by mail. 

Bewildered and curious myself, I looked at the adoption literature at the time.  I read a lot of beliefs about how secrecy was necessary.  But I found little if any research data to support these beliefs.

Thus began my two decade long study of families living with open adoptions.  In 1988 I identified 22 families who had just adopted an infant in open adoptions, and I have re-inteviewed these families every seven years since then in order to find out what open adoption is like, from the perspective of those who are living in it.  The infants in that study are now young adults, able […]