by Nicholas D'Ambra
They are a nuisance. They are in my sock drawer, the floor of my car, everywhere in my desk, in the little crack of the door jam where the floor and the threshold don’t quite meet, EVERYWHERE!
Inevitably, when I reach for meter money in the car I always end up with handfuls of them, most often concealing a much needed dime in the palm of my hand. They are…Ugh! PENNIES!!! […]
by Austin Wimberly
When I was in my thirties, I remember some of the forty-year-olds at work talking about getting older. They would talk about how their metabolism had slowed, how their hair was thinning, how youth was wasted on the young. And they would sort of give each other those knowing looks that seemed to say “Hang in there” or “It’ll be alright.” I chalked up this overheard confiding to a kind of bonding over Prufrockian misery.
John M. Simmons
Mothers’ Day has always been a tough one at our house. My wife, Amy, came from a home where she was abused by her father and her mother did nothing to stop it, as long as he provided the meal-ticket.
At fifteen, Amy went into foster care where she was used to raise younger foster children while the parents partied. My daughters suffered unimaginable abuse at the hand of their birth-mother in Russia. My youngest son, Denney, also from that country, was betrayed by his birth parents, too.
Sarah was five when she joined our family. She was plenty old enough to know what was going on and to play a part in life-altering decisions. She’s now fourteen. Recently Sarah came to me and said: “I miss Mama Oksana.” (That’s the name we have always used for the birth-mother of our daughters). “I used to hate her. Is that okay?” Tears filled my eyes as I wrapped my arms around her and told her it was not only okay, but good. Then I told her I loved her and that I was sorry it was so hard. […]
by Cyma Shapiro
Women choosing motherhood over 40, 45 and 50 still remain in the minority, especially in certain geographic locations. Although new older parenting is increasing incrementally, women choosing motherhood at later (and later) ages are often the butt of jokes and the recipient of rude, politically incorrect, and sometime insulting comments.
My primer, below, should make it easier for those who are inclined to comment (on any aspect of this fact). Consider the power of words, even if well-intentioned:
1) “Are you the Grandmother?”
Unless you need to ask this to determine whether an AARP card is applicable, or to somehow confirm lineage, don’t even ask. Not only is this a painful question for any woman/mother over 40, but if applied incorrectly, it’s an insult to the children who are usually listening. Think about the overall cost/benefit of asking this question, especially if little ones are in tow.
2) “How old were you when you had/adopted your child?”
Is this your business?
3) “Do you know how selfish you are?”
This references the fact that I may die long before I get to experience my children’s milestones, and my children will be left motherless. However, people die at every age. Long life is not a surety for anyone.
4) “Why would you have/adopt a child at your age?”
Why not?
5) “Wow…..that’s so….great!” (Or) “Good for you!”
What’s so great about it, and why is this good for me?
6) “Really??”
Yes, really.
7) “Is this your first marriage?”
What does that matter?
8) “When do you plan to retire?”
The answer to this is a definitive “never.”
9) “You have a what?” (In answer to the question about the ages of your children).
How can I help you?
10) “It seems like a lot of […]
by Hanni Beyer Lee
She is my fourth child and my third daughter. She holds a special place in the order of the family. She is my last child. The others are grown or grown enough to be out of the house. She is the child I long to be closer to. She is the child who pushes me away and the child who needs me the most.
In 1981, I gave birth to my son. I was 23 years old and single. In 1995, I married and at 48, in the prime of mid-life motherhood, I traveled to China to bring home my third daughter. Mei Mei means little sister in Mandarin. I traveled with my two older daughters, also adopted from China. We were a fearless bunch maneuvering our way through Hefei, the city where my third daughter is from; all speaking Chinese together and attracting a crowd wherever we went. […]