new older mothering Archives - Mothering in the Middle

I Need to Get Away!

by Jennifer Boire

Yesterday, I lay on the massage table, having a delicious ‘in the body’ experience (as opposed to an out of body one) that felt heavenly. Why don’t I do this more often, I wondered? And why did it take me so many years to allow myself to have this pleasurable experience?

Somewhere in my mid-forties, I felt a strong (and frightening) urge to leave home. Up till then, I was a true-blue multi-tasker, achievement oriented busy person, running a household, volunteering, chauffeuring kids, and coping with motherhood the best I knew how.

I had started late, by some standards, first baby at 36 after two miscarriages, second one at 38. I was studying part-time, writing a book, and teaching. I got pregnant the year I got accepted into the Masters in English program. Nursing babies at 4 am, with journal open and pen in hand, some of my best poems came out of those years. […]

Cyma Shapiro Interviews the Authors of The Mother’s Wisdom Deck

Q: Good Day, Niki. Thanks much for our time together. As a creator of Mothering with Soul, you have a unique, purposeful message. Tell me a little more about yourself, your collaborators, and your combined mission.

A: Thanks for having us, Cyma. It is an honor to connect with other midlife moms. As I was sharing with you, The Mother’s Wisdom Deck and Mothering with Soul largely grew out of our desire to marry our pre-motherhood life experiences and spiritual growth with the path of motherhood. Co-author Elizabeth Marglin (44), illustrator Jenny Kostecki-Shaw (38) and I (40) have each spent a lot of time traveling, studying with wisdom teachers around the globe, and contributing to the world as professional women.

Speaking for myself, I was totally unprepared for the changes that motherhood would bring. When I became pregnant, I was in the midst of a project to document the wisdom of indigenous elder women and thought that I would be able to continue my work with a baby on my back. My son had other plans. I can laugh now at my naïveté, but moreover I am grateful for how motherhood has enriched my life in ways that I never could have planned. Motherhood is about surrendering to something greater than myself and seeing what wants to unfold. The Mother’s Wisdom Deck supports that process of letting go and tuning in. […]

It’s My Birth Date And I’ll Lie If I Want To…

by Ramona Duoba

Image courtesy of wmphoenixopen.com

If turning 50 wasn’t bad enough I have a daughter who has taken a keen interest in my age. It’s probably because she doesn’t know how old I really am.

Being obsessed with aging or anti-aging is a way of life for many women, but has the obsession gone too far when you can’t be truthful with your own daughter? I suppose many people would say I’m setting her up, or that my inability to tell the truth about my age is an example of self-loathing or some deep-rooted trauma that I haven’t come to terms with. It’s not. I just don’t like aging. It’s that simple. There’s nothing wonderful about looking at a passport photo from 10 years ago and comparing it to the one I have today. There’s a harsh difference. […]

Musings of a Midlife Mother

by Heather Rancourt

The occasional reminder of youth slipping away, our SKIN!

There are not enough lotions, creams, or remedies to keep up with the signs of drying. I’ve gone from a grape to a raisin. I’ve tried several products on the market; some feel like they’re working, some feel like a Darth Vadar mask; some are gooey; some have little tiny stones in them; some scare my children, but none of them seem to bring back the eternal glow.

So, I decided to home remedy this problem with oatmeal. On a health website I found, it said, “Adding instant oatmeal to your bath will soothe your skin.” I didn’t need to finish reading, I got it. Started the water in the bathtub, emptied 72 packets of my instant oatmeal into it, and proceeded to get in. All the while I was sitting in this goop, I imagined I would come out beautified. As time went on, things got heavy and thick and I could barely move my legs. I yelled for my husband; I started to panic. He came running in and yelled, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” As I tried to stand, I said, “Trying to make my skin not so dry! It’s a home remedy, help me get out!” He grabbed my hand, helped me stand up, and quietly said, “Did the remedy call for Oatmeal Brown Maple Sugar?”

Moral of the story: Keep reading – we do not know everything.

Heather Rancourt, 42, is a graduate of a boarding school for the performing arts in Washington, CT. She majored in communications at Arizona State University. Heather is the owner of Chasem2 Productions LLC, and the creator of […]

Holiday Wisdom: Why Less is More

by Jane Samuel

Years ago my husband had a colleague by the name of Les Moore. He was a hardworking, quality guy, but he was not a “big man” in physical stature – a geeky engineer for sure. My husband, also a geeky engineer at the time, would always joke about Les and his work ethic and his trim stature by saying this little ditty whenever Les’s name came up in conversation, “Ah, Les Moore – when Les is Moore!” […]