mothers over 50 Archives - Mothering in the Middle

The Long Wave Goodbye

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: Each year, I repost this essay, written when my children were young. However, it remains true to me; the original wave is etched in my heart and mind forever.

Today, I waved to my daughter riding away on the bus. The silly kind of wave – two arms, as if jumping for dear-life and flagging down a passing ship. We both continued waving until the bus was out of sight. Walking back to my house, I had a lump in my throat. I am both happy and sad.

I’m sad for the time which is passing so quickly; sad, too, that I see that my parenting must be working well – my own daughter still longs for me. (I did not have that with my own mother.) I waited a long time to become a mother (again). I will continue to try my hardest to fulfill her need until her hands stop reaching for mine, the arm waves stop, and I see her waving to her friends – not me. That time is coming. In fact, it’s just around the corner.

Writer Kelly Salasin blogged, “There are so many deaths in mothering, beginning at the beginning, and arriving every day after. But equally matched with these deaths are the blessings of a new life – new growth – new possibility.” These words resonate with me and touch my heart. […]

A Mother’s Job Is Never Done

by Gina Broadbent

The urban legend of motherhood contends that if you don’t embarrass your child, you’re not doing your job.

I’ve always been a bit of an overachiever and, never more so than during my daughter’s tween/teen years. I pursued with a passion, one I usually reserve for a crisp sauvignon blanc or a deep tissue massage, perfect performance on this compass of parental competence.

Yes, I did it; I did it all- all the miserable, misguided maternal behavior sure to elicit a roll of the eyes, a highly offended yelp of “EWEE,” and the ultimate,”Mom, people heard you say that!” […]

11 Days to a New Midlife Mother’s – Day (A Carol Sung to “The 12 Days of Christmas”)

by Cyma Shapiro

On the 30th day of April, Another said to me, “Good for You!”

On the first day of May, Another said to me, “What were you thinking?”

On the second day of May, Another said to me, “Why would you do this?”

On the third day of May, Another said to me, “When will you retire?”

On the fourth day of May, Another said to me, “Are you the Grandma?”

On the fifth day of May, Another said to me, “You’re how old?”

On the sixth day of May, Another said to me, “You are pretty selfish!”

On the seventh day of May, Another said to me, “Is this your first marriage?”

On the eighth day of May, Another said to me, “How did you do this?”

On the ninth day of May, Another said to me, “Who is the father?”

On the tenth day of May, Another said to me, “A lot of people are doing this.”

Phone Folly (Three Short Parenting-A-College-Kid Stories)

by Gina Broadbent

#1 – A phone call in the middle of the night is never a good thing. On a mid-September night, I fall into an easy sleep, secure in the thought that my daughter Catherine is settling into college life. A rude ring rouses me. Mother’s intuition, fueled by my overactive, overprotective gene, shoots into overdrive. I brace for bad news as my husband, Mr. Don’t Worry Be Happy, picks up the phone.

DWBH: “Hey, Catherine, how ya doing? Good. Yeah Mom’s right here.”

It’s midnight. Where did she think I’d be? At the mall? Out for cocktails? […]

What To Do If Your Teen Has An Eating Disorder (Part III)

by Irene Celcer

Natalie is 16 years old, a straight-A student. She is looking into colleges and excited about leaving home. Six months ago, she began dieting: “I want to look good when I go to college and for the prom.” Natalie loses weight and at first, she seems happy. “I feel so grown up with my new clothes,” she beams!

One day, her boyfriend negatively comments on the looks of a girlfriend saying to Natalie, “ I hope you don’t gain the freshman 15.” Natalie freezes inside and reaffirms her efforts not to ever gain weight … by vowing to pursue dieting as it consumes her entire day. […]

Too Much Post-Halloween Candy? Never Fear, The Great Pumpkin Is Here!

by Melanie Elliott

Our first Halloween with The Littlest E was easy breezy. He was 15 months old and didn’t really know or care about pumpkins, costumes, going trick-or-treating, or eating candy. We stayed home that year and answered the door whenever the bell rang.

For the past few years some friends of ours whose son is The Littlest E’s age, have held a Halloween potluck. They live in a great kid-friendly neighborhood with lots of children going door-to-door. We starting going to their house when The Littlest E was a little over 2 years old. That first year attending their party, we lasted 10 minutes trick-or-treating. Our little guy was too scared of adults in costume and he didn’t even like being in his own costume. It was all a bit too much for him. […]

10 Signs Your Teen is Developing an Eating Problem (Part II)

by Irene Celcer

At age 14, Chloe becomes interested in boys and develops a crush on Jason. But Jason has a crush on Amanda. Her friends comment, “Amanda is so pretty and so thin!”

A couple of days later, Chloe decides goes on a diet. Chloe has gotten taller since she turned 12. Her weight is on target. ‘Don’t eating disorders start with dieting?’ her mother thinks. “I will get you fresh and good quality food,” she says.

Chloe begins dieting intently. She loses weight. Friends and Aunt Dottie congratulate her profusely. Something starts happening for Chloe. Dieting becomes her most important activity. Deep down, Chloe believes that being thin will grant her admiration and, Jason.¹

Does Chloe have an eating disorder? Not yet. As a parent be vigilant! […]

Autumn in the Air (Going Back)

by Maggie Lamond Simone

“I wouldn’t go back there for the world!” I said to a woman whose daughter was picking out new school stuff alongside my son.

“All I did was worry about homework and clothes, and if I wasn’t doing that, I was chasing a boy – not that I ever caught one. It was just way too much stress.”

“I know!” the woman laughed. “I’m glad this one’s only in first grade!”

“That’s when I was talking about,” I replied. She grabbed her child and fled. […]

Is That Your Grandson?
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Is That Your Grandson?

Commentary, Daily Living, Midlife Foibles!, Mothers Over 50

Is That Your Grandson?

by Nancy LaMar Rodgers

Here’s to Your Health

I put the supplements up on the counter at the health food store. My eight month old was positioned on my hip and my 11 year old was standing next to me, bored and put out by the endless errands we had to run that day.

On the counter was Kava Kava for relaxation, B12 for energy, Vitamin D for my immune, Psyllium powder for constipation, and Black Cohosh for menopausal symptoms. My son was fidgeting and trying to grab whatever was colorful on the counter. The owner had yet to come to the register. I handed the baby off to his sister and said, “hold your brother for a second, I forgot something.” She obliged begrudgingly, still annoyed with his existence, ruining her standing as an “only child.” […]

“Fertility Goddess” – An Excerpt From the Book, Ghostbelly

by Elizabeth Heineman

“I am a fertility goddess,” I told Glenn. “First I get pregnant with a woman, then I get pregnant at forty-five.”

“Indeed,” Glenn said.

“Yes. If I’d lived my whole adult life with men, and at an earlier time, when they didn’t have such good birth control, I’d have six kids and six abortions behind me by now.” I am a historian of women and sexuality, and such people have no illusions about how women used to control their fertility.

“Good thing Julia saved you from that fate,” Glenn said. […]