Mothers over 40 Archives - Page 8 of 11

Grace, Under Pressure: A Girl with Asperger’s and her Marathon Mom

by Sophie Walker

Those early days of training were excruciating and monotonous and humbling. I often felt overwhelmed as I fought to organize time to do it among work and the children and the daily chores. But it was also the best thing that had ever happened to me. I had a sense of purpose and achievement and a project to be proud of that was mine.

Then somewhere in the weeks around Christmas that changed. I stopped running and I stopped writing about it — by now my blog about life with Grace had attracted a decent number of regular readers. It would be easy to say that it was simply due to the busy time of year, but the break was less to do with the busyness of family activities — the tending to clamoring, hyped-up children that makes the Christmas holiday so particularly unrestful — and more to do with a sudden queasiness that descended whenever I contemplated either activity. […]

When He Naps

by Amy Wright Glenn

When he naps, I meditate.

I nurse him down to sleep. Milk and song mingle together and soon his breath moves into the rhythms of dreamland.

We breathe together as a calm, holy, wonder moves through the house. Toys are still. Dishes are done and the leaves outside dance in the wind. I stay home with this boy and offer my light to him. I know that this is sacred work. […]

Losses and Gifts in Midlife

by Lewis Richmond

Since the 2012 publication of my book Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser, I have been leading workshops and working with groups to explore how to negotiate the path of aging in today’s complex and hyper-busy world. Among baby boomers one of the challenges is being caught in middle between two other generations: children and aging parents. If the children span the ages from young school-age to adult, two generations expand to three!

Recent studies show that 35% of young adults in their 20s still living with parents—with more still relying on their parents for financial and emotional support. In addition, our parents’ generation is living longer than any in history—into their 80s, 90s, and even beyond. […]

A 40-Something Infertility Story

by Deborah Adrian

March 28^th, 2008, was a day that marked the culmination of a personal infertility journey.

It was not the day you might imagine – when I found out I was pregnant. Past experience had taught me that just a pregnancy test was not enough to be confident I would have a baby. This was the moment I saw the image of a small fetus with a solid heartbeat grace the screen of the ultrasound machine. This was a moment forged by three years of struggle to get pregnant both naturally and with medical intervention. A moment ultimately created out of a commitment and a declaration. […]

Parents As Positive Role Models

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D., and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D

Photo courtesy of beingnewton.com

Your children – whatever their ages – may or may not do as you say, but chances are they’ll do as you do. There’s no getting around it. You serve as a role model through your attitudes and behavior inside and outside the family. Just remember, someone impressionable is watching, listening and learning from your example.

Should you be flawless? Of course not. But show them your best self. You can use these practical tips as you teach your kids how to:

Solve problems. Children need to know how and why you make the choices that you do. They learn what you value every time you make the extra effort. Your decisions don’t only impact you, so talk to them when you consider your parents’ needs before your own, put money in their college fund, help out in the homeless shelter. […]

Happy Dance

by Maggie Lamond Simone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60Koe5FSE9M *

The big yellow bus will soon rumble once more down our street, signaling the end of summer and the beginning of another chapter in my life. My youngest is now in kindergarten. Big brother and little sister will stand together at the bus stop, he surreptitiously looking out for her, his fear for her safety and feelings only slightly stronger than his fear of being caught caring.

I think of all the emotions I should be feeling, emotions that any normal mother would be feeling at this momentous occasion in her children’s life: a deep sense of pride; hope for the future; nostalgia for baby days long gone; and maybe even a little fear about what lies in store for these innocent young people. I should be crying.

So why, then, will I be doing The Happy Dance in my driveway as the bus is pulling away? […]

The Yin and Yang of Motherhood

by Serena Kirby

I was 43 when I finally became a mother and I’d definitely been looking through rose coloured glasses in regards to how I thought motherhood would be. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom and I would lay down my life for my child. But there were times in the early days of mothering when I asked myself, “What the heck have I done?”

I know now that I’m not alone in this, as many older mothers I spoke to while researching my book expressed surprise at the contradictory emotions that come with being a mom. […]

The Long Wave Goodbye

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: This is a rewrite of a previous post. Forgive my liberties in reprinting those few posts which resonate with me and provide a framework for all that follows. This pays homage to the start of school, the passing of time, and the recognition that having children changes it all.

Today, I waved to my daughter riding away on the bus. The silly kind of wave – two arms flailing, as if flagging down a passing ship. I was also jumping up and down. We both continued waving until the bus was out of sight.

Walking back to my house, I had a lump in my throat. I am sad. Sad for the absence of these experiences with my own mother; sad for the time which is passing so quickly; sad, too, that I see that my parenting must be working well – my own daughter still longs for me and keeps me in her sight. I did not have that with my own mother.

I will continue to try my hardest to fulfill that need, until her hands stop reaching for mine, the arm waves stop and I see her waving to her friends, not me. That time is coming. In fact, it’s just around the corner. […]

Taking a Deep Look At Ourselves

Melissa Lapides, MA MFT

In any healthy relationship there is a need to be consistently looking at what we, as individuals, are bringing into the relationship- both good and bad. Relationships need nurturing in order to grow and evolve. It is much like a plant. Without proper care, it cannot thrive. I tell clients all the time that relationships will not evolve without effort. It takes consistent, active participation. The relationship with our children is no exception. […]

Open Adoption: When What I Knew Was Wrong

by Lori Lavender Luz

Image courtesy of http://lavender.luz.com

When Roger and I embarked on the journey of adopting a baby several years ago, everything we “knew” about adoption was from decades past:

You waited on a long list until the agency matched you with a situation. Top of the list of criteria for the match? Your place in line.
You tried to make the building of your family as close to “normal” (read: biological) as possible. You didn’t talk much about the adoption, either inside or outside of the family, and you certainly didn’t have any contact with birth parents. The goal was to make it seamless, almost as if adoption were never part of the story. […]