Mothers over 40 Archives - Page 2 of 11

A Different Christmas (Celebrating with Stepfamilies)

by Trisha Ladonga

The carols are playing, the decorations are up and strings of lights are strung over houses with care. It all seems rather normal, but for repartnered families having a first (or tenth!) Christmas together, it can feel pretty surreal. We share Christmas with my stepson’s mother.

One year he spends Christmas Eve and early Christmas morning with us and heads to his mother’s for the majority of Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Vice versa the following year.

After 12 years and two other children, I still can’t decide which is more difficult. Having the joy of Christmas Eve with all of the spine-tingling Santa expectation and early morning waking to presents only to be followed by the letdown of him leaving for the rest of the day.

His absence a niggling presence in all that we do the rest of the day. Or the alternative of waking up to Christmas morning without him and having the long (feels-like-forever) wait until he gets home to let our family’s ‘real’ celebrations begin. […]

A Mother’s Musings – Snowfall

by Judith Lee Herbert

I

Clouds surround us in the mountains

of Estes Park, in August.

I am elated, driving through the blizzard,

Dana, at ten, in the back seat,

Allan at my side.

We follow the dim red glow of tail lights

slowly, through fog’s fluffy whiteness.

Descending mountain curves,

I am soaring through silvery light.

II

Last night I dreamed that

my mother drove through a snowstorm

to visit me.

I opened the car door.

Cold frosty snow covered

her clothes, face, lashes.

She’d forgotten to close the windows.

Occasionally a glimpse of her

through snowflakes.

Who she once was, covered by

a layer of frozenness,

a blanket of whiteness.

Judith Lee Herbert has returned to poetry after a successful career in another field. She graduated Cum Laude in English Literature from Columbia University. She has a daughter who is a sophomore in college, and she lives in New York City, with her husband, who writes plays. She had her daughter while in her 40s.

Sweatpantgiving

Jo-Ann Rogan

We are quickly approaching the stimulus overload, food holidays. These holidays clash completely with my kids and their special needs.

In the short time my kids have been alive we have spent three holidays in an emergency room. Three. The first one came as my youngest was just being diagnosed with his five anaphylactic food allergies. We were at the playground over a long holiday weekend.

My son, then a toddler, decided to sample a peanut butter sandwich that was on the tray of a stroller. He wound up having an anaphylaxis and I used his Epi-pen on him to save his life. Every single professional I encountered at the hospital told me over and over that I had saved my son’s life that day. It is something I can never forget. […]

A Bun and A Bird In the Oven

by Nancy LaMar-Rodgers

I Just Don’t Cook

I excel at other things. Planning, making and serving large family dinners have never been one of my fortes. My family, however, had other ideas the year my dad passed away and I found myself pregnant with my son.

I was about 8 weeks in when my family thought it might be a good idea to have Thanksgiving at my house. Having never hosted a family holiday (that was my sisters’ jobs), I wasn’t sure I was up for the task but being hormonally challenged at the time, I agreed. That was my first mistake; as I undoubtedly would have to host this dinner, sober.

Murphy’s Law

So I shopped for the big bird. Strangely enough, in my newfound mindset of maternal musings, I found myself actually looking forward to this event and contemplating place settings and intricate autumnal table décor. Thankfully those latter thoughts passed quickly. […]

Our First Real Vacation With the Twins

by DeAnna Scott

Our annual vacation for the past 11 years has not changed. My husband and I, and now with our 14 month old twins, spend our annual 10 day vacation with family and friends on Hatteras Island North Carolina. The trip is something we look forward to and plan extensively for, every year.

Although it is a sweet, tender time of reunion with our East Coast family, this year seemed to have more than its share of trouble. To be brutally honest, not at all what I would consider a vacation in the restful sense of the word.

Since the twins were 14 months old, I felt I had to be uber-prepared. For weeks I had been making lists of everything we might need for traveling, playing, eating, sleeping and swimming: lists which included entries for items such as portable high- chairs, bathing suits, clothes, sunscreen, pool toys, regular toys, sleeping arrangements, diapers, wipes, diaper cream, snacks, car seats, to name just a few. […]

My Letter To You – Dear Stressed Out Over-40 Mom

by Karen Osburn

Dear Stressed Out Over-40 Mom,

I see you.

I know who you are, because I am just like you.
I became a Mom for the first time at 41, and then again, at 44.

I know you think you’re the only Mom who is ‘older’, but you’re not.
I know you think that you’re the only one who struggled with infertility, but you are also not alone when it comes to this issue. […]

Walk the Walk: Five Advocacy Tips for Navigating the Path to Motherhood

by Michal Klau-Stevens

One afternoon I took a walk at a beautiful lake surrounded by woods with a main paved path and smaller trails through the woods. I decided to take a wooded trail, but as I moved further from the main path, the trail became less clear. I was afraid of getting lost in the woods. When I looked around me, I realized that some of the trees had blue paint marks on them.

Every few feet stood a tree with another blue mark. By following the marks, I was able to follow the trail through the woods to the main path as it circled around the lake. When I got to the main path again, I wasn’t sure which direction to walk to get back to my car. Luckily, another walker was passing by who pointed me in the right direction. If I had gotten lost, the walk could have been a disaster, but because I had signs to guide me and people to help me when I needed help, it was a wonderful experience. But, it wasn’t only the signs and the fellow walker that made the difference. I used my skills and I wasn’t afraid to ask the fellow traveler for help. I advocated for myself, and I felt confident and positive after my walk.

Navigating your way towards motherhood is a lot like that walk. You are entering unfamiliar territory, and you will have to find your way through. Whether you pursue motherhood the “old fashioned” way, or through assisted reproductive technology, adoption, surrogacy, or some other method, the steps to making informed decisions […]

My Letter To Ryan

by Jo-Ann Rogan

Dearest Ryan,

I have been writing you letters on your birthday since you were four years old. Wish I thought to do this when you were younger. This year was about you blossoming.

You have grown so much this year. In early June you were on the tall side but had a little kid look to you with a roundness. Suddenly in July you were what seems like four inches taller, broad shouldered, and had a decidedly young-man-look. Your face is changing and you are wearing men’s sized clothing and shoes. You have become a strong young man. You often volunteer to carry heavy things for me.

You started this summer as a little boy. In July, your rapid growth had your brain chemistry thrown off and your behavior was hard to manage and you were just hard to reach. August brought a new found calm. When your Dad was away working on his big project you stepped in to be my right hand man. Often when Aaron was melting down you were the one to take the higher road in your arguments. I was so thankful for your calm head. I enjoyed the time we had together in August and I adored our “summer bucket list,” which was a list of things we wanted to do this summer. Last week, we crossed everything off the list with the time we spent at the beach. […]

The Perimenopausal Double Whammy
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The Perimenopausal Double Whammy

Commentary, Daily Living, Health During Midlife, Mothers Over 40, Perimenopause & Menopause

The Perimenopausal Double Whammy

by Melanie Elliott

I became a mom, through adoption, at the age of 45. I’ve been a mom now for a little over 4 years, which means I’m pushing 50.

Yikes and Yay!

I love being this age, even though I have a few more cricks and creaks in my body. For the most part, I have a pretty level head, am grounded and comfortable in my skin. Life is good with no major complaints. There’s a bit more stress in my everyday world because we recently rescued a lovely dog, Pepper, so we’re all adjusting to the furry addition in our lives. And, there’s an added layer of, well let me call it mishegas (Yiddish for crazy), in life due to entering the world of perimenopause. […]

Now Is Your One Last Chance

by Tracy Franz

Having lived a number of years in Japan, I’ve often heard the Japanese phrase ichi-go ichi-e—literally, “one time, one meeting”—described by Japanese and Westerners alike as carpe diem, “seize the day.” Or, if you prefer the pop-culture version, “YOLO.” […]