mother over 50 Archives - Page 5 of 7 - Mothering in the Middle

on loving a teenager

by Karen Maezen Miller

They love us in a different way.

I said that when someone asked what it was like to have a teenager.

I feel like we’ve lost a daughter.

My husband said that after a silent and inconsequential Sunday.

Just shut up.

I said that to her after a ride in the car yesterday.

And yet, there is love, so much love between us and it has gone nowhere! I am standing on the high bluff over death valley, infinite openness in all directions, stunned dumb in the emptiness, but I know the space before me is pure love. Pure love. Life grows here, even when we can’t see it. Refreshed in a cool night, fed by invisible rivulets. A whisper of sea sails five hundred miles across five mountain ranges, and the whisper is this.

They love us in a different way.

They love us in the space, the space that is nothing but love.

Love is not a feeling, not a thought, nothing given or got, not more or less. Not a precaution or warning, not a push or a prod. Not a reminder, not a teaching, not a performance. Love is not what I say and not what you hear. Not how was school how was the test what about homework what are you wearing wash your face eat your dinner pick up your shoes I don’t like her him that when if what did you do what did you say what about your terrible wonderful failure success happiness sadness what about me what about me what about me?

Love is the space between us. There is so much space.

What will you put into that space today, I ask myself before I hear the roar of my own echo.

Just shut up.

Reprinted with permission […]

My Love Will Not Let You Down

by Ellie Stoneley

At this time of year, when the tills of florists, card shops and chocolate emporia go “ker-ching,” the world is suddenly filled with red heart-shaped helium balloons, and I’ve often been known to become a little cynical.

I love ‘love’, and I love being told I’m loved and I love loving the people I love, but, and it is a big, but, I do struggle with the huge amount of money spent at Valentine’s Day on meals that are that bit more expensive than they usually are and, well, the whole thing really. I used to love the idea of anonymous Valentine’s cards and remember trying to disguise my writing in them at school or trying to decipher coded messages to see if I could work out who a card was from. I also know and do remember the bitter disappointment when no card arrived, or if the rose that did come wasn’t a huge bunch of them. (Yes, I was that shallow as a teenager … and constantly disappointed!!!) […]

10 Reasons I Love Myself

by Ann Sheybani

image courtesy of flickr.com

I love, love, love Gala Darling. Her site is all about radical self-love. My favorite among her posts: 100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now. In it she says:

“Make lists of reasons why you love yourself… & write down (or keep mental lists) of the compliments other people give you. We’re so quick to believe people when they say nasty, unkind or “brutally honest” (ahem, cruel) things to or about us, & we discard all the times we’re told how amazing, beautiful or intelligent we are. Usually this is because our sense of self-doubt is stronger than our self-love. If you can build up the love side of things, this will begin to change.” […]

Interview with Josie Iselin, Author of Heart Stones and Sea Glass Hearts

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: Heart Stones is my most favorite Valentine’s Day book, ever. I own and have given several of Josie’s books for presents. MitM is honored to feature her, for Valentine’s Day.

Q: Josie, your first book is called Loving Blind/Seeing Red: A Mother’s Decade. It features a series of images with connecting anecdotes about life with small kids which was inspired by your earliest path through motherhood. As the mother of three children, now ranging in age from 15 to 20, they appear to be your driving force, motivation and inspiration. Please tell me more about your journey with them and how it has contributed to your finding your life’s work.

I had my first baby (20 years ago nearly today in fact!) at midwinter break in the second of three years of an MFA program and when done, I thought I would be teaching pretty consistently. But teaching in the arts is initially a transient thing…The reality was that the best economic model for our family was for me to be home with the kids…and it was a gift to us as a family and to me as an artist. My studio is just downstairs (through the backyard) from the kitchen and my work and life are intertwined, physically as well as psychically. My kids and my husband always inspire me to do better work. […]

Infertile. Me? No way, I’m Latina!

Liz Raptis Picco

I’m soon to be 60, raising teenage brothers who my husband and I adopted from Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua almost fifteen years ago. Being a Latina and native speaker definitely helped when we approached an orphanage in northern Mexico. Being a Latina also made it difficult for me to talk about it openly among my family.

I’ve noticed the same reluctance in Latinas to discuss infertility and IVF, as well as adoption. I follow many wonderful blogs where important issues concerning Latinas are showcased, but I have not yet found one that discusses infertility.

Why? […]

Geriatric Or Just Wise?

by Ellie Stoneley

Mother, Me & Hope

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter” – Mark Twain

I’ve been asked so many times what it feels like to be an ‘older Mother.’ It always strikes me as a silly question, really, it’s not as if I knew what it was like to be a younger mother. I am what I am, we are where we are and I am 48 1/2 with a 12 month old daughter… I am happy, blissfully happy, if a little tired most of the time. […]

Energy Boosters for the New Year

by Jenilyn Gilbert

Are you feeling exhausted, grumpy or spacey lately? Do you lack energy? As midlife mothers and mothers to be, our energy levels can sometimes be compromised. As our hormones shift so does our energy. Some of us need to slow down and others need to speed things up. Perhaps you need more hours of sleep, or you may find yourself feeling tired around 3 or 4 PM (in the afternoon) or maybe you don’t have the same overall zest you used to have. […]

Teaching Children to Meditate

by Karen Maezen Millier

To begin, understand this: you are never going to teach your child a life skill that you don’t already have.
But I know. You’re not here for yourself. You’re here because you’re worried about your child.

How do you teach children to meditate?
I’m asked about this all the time. Please know that I speak only from my own perspective as a mother and a practitioner. Everyone has his or her own view. Here is mine. […]

Tips to Stay the Course (for 2013)

by Aleta St. James

Almost everyone starts off the first few weeks of a new year with great intentions and excitement, and then slowly but surely, the enthusiasm starts to wane. Sounds familiar, right?

You don’t have to have that happen this year. […]

A Sens-ational Holiday List

by Jane Samuel

Okay parents, I know you want to make your kids happy for the Holidays. After parenting three children, one of which has sensory processing disorder, I have amassed a list of our favorite toys and activities. I can attest that not only will the following items bring laughter and joy to your house this season; they will work your children’s brains and bodies developing their cognitive, physical and emotional skills. Happy Holiday shopping; potential websites for ordering items are listed as well. […]