mother over 40 Archives - Page 2 of 7 - Mothering in the Middle

Old = Dirty? (A Commentary on the UK’s First Response Campaign)

by Elizabeth Gregory

Dear Reader: This commentary is in response to a new ad campaign in Britain sponsored by the pregnancy testing company First Response, which warns young women that their childbearing years are numbered. You can find related articles on midlifemothers/facebook.

One of the nice things about being an older mom is the friendly comments you get: just this morning a 29-year old I’d just met remarked apropos of nothing in particular that I didn’t look 55. She hoped she’d look like me when she was my age!

Maybe she was lying, but she had no particular reason to. More likely she was just telling me that I looked a lot better than she’d expected for the elderly mother of an 8 year old. It’s not hard to succeed in that territory. Who am I to turn down a compliment? […]

Teaching Our Children to Remember: Memorial Day

by Jane Samuel

This morning I stood at my kitchen sink washing dishes and planning out our Memorial Day as the morning news droned on in the background. I suspect our daily agenda looked like many other mid-American households: yard work, house work, work work, pool-time and barbeque time. Our children’s day would also include my husband’s annual instruction in honor and patriotism. He is his father’s son, and this year for the reasons I share here I am even more proud of that.

Each year he pulls out the newspaper, checks the time of the service at the Lexington Cemetery and corrals our daughters off to witness the true meaning of Memorial Day. Depending on the hour of the service, the heat index, and the level of grumpiness there is often a dispute about which children must attend. The younger one – unless she has already donned her swimming attire for the day – is willing to go along for the ride. The older ones are – par for the course – a different story. There are time worn comments about it being “their summer vacation” or it being “too hot.” Each year I push my husband to take them all. Yes, I believe in his lesson to them and usually reflect briefly on its importance. But mainly, I just want some peace and quiet for a few hours. That is until this year. […]

Midlife Mothers, Teenage Daughters, and Prenatal Care

by Stephanie Tillman (a.k.a. the Feminist Midwife)

As a healthcare provider, my work is to listen to the unique experiences of people throughout their lives. My favorite visits lately have been witnessing teenage daughters attend the prenatal visits of their midlife mothers. I have spent some time trying to figure out what makes this experience so special for myself and for the other women in the room, and I share a bit of that thought process here.

I am a midwife, serving women in an inner city. Many of my patients are non-English speaking, birthing in a new country and living at a crossroads between teaching family tradition and learning new approaches as their children grow. […]

My Child’s Guardian Angel

by Jo Beth Young

Healing Angel
by Jo Beth Young

Have you ever wondered if your child has a Guardian Angel? If you have had your own first-hand experience of Angels, then you’ll already be in doubt that they do! However, if you’ve yet to see or sense the angelic realm around you, help is at hand!

I’m looking forward to sharing my experience and insights with you to help you make this loving heavenly link which not only brings a whole new exciting dimension to parenting but can help us understand our own children on an even deeper level.

I have connected consciously with Angels since childhood myself and I can tell you that not only do your children and yourself have these beautiful benevolent beings of light loving looking over you, but that far from being ‘wishful thinking,’ they actually have a very important and integral role during the different stages of your child’s development. […]

Cyma Shapiro Interviews Suzanne Braun Levine, Author of You Gotta Have Girlfriends

Q: On the heels of your last book How We Love Now: Women Talk About Intimacy After Fifty, what compelled you to write this new book?

With each book about women of my generation – Inventing the Rest of Our Lives, Fifty Is the New Fifty, How We Love Now – I talked to more women, did more research, and learned more about the exciting new stage of life we are exploring. Every interview, no matter how wide-ranging, eventually got to the subject of girlfriends. “I couldn’t have done it without my girlfriends!” was the phrase I heard over and over again. I realized that I needed to write a book that focused on that life-enhancing subject. Hence, my just-out e-book You Gotta Have Girlfriends: A Post-Fifty Posse is Good for Your Health. […]

Motherhood: Lies, Secrets and a Culture of Shame (A Mother’s Day Promise)

by Cyma Shapiro

I believe that we, as women, live in a culture of shame, failure and inferiority regarding our attempts to reach, and our paths to achieve, motherhood.

There, I’ve said it.

I believe that our gender – known for compassion, nurturing and strength – has created a hierarchy of sorts rating the exact method, age, and end result of securing motherhood. Note the whispers about actress Kate Winslet, who was purported to have lied about utilizing natural childbirth when she had a C-section. Or, Halle Berry, who has until-now failed to show the “bump,” and is the focus of stories indicating that she may be using a surrogate. To me, none of this is anyone’s business – and certainly not ours. […]

Perspective (It’s All About Perspective)

by Jane Samuel

In my older age (NOT old age) I have noticed something. Call it an Oprah-Aha-moment. Or wisdom that comes with gray hair – of which I have none yet, thank you very much. Or clarity. Or Karma.

Whatever it is, it is important. It is what can turn an opinion on its head, an observation into a judgment or a friend away. It can make silver-linings shine through apparent darkness.

It’s perspective. And as we age we gain more of it I hope. At least that seems to be the case with me and why I am glad that I am parenting my kids a tad later than I had planned.

I think back over so many events that now seem vastly different because life has handed me – through other events – perspective. […]

Facts and Myths About Infertility (from RESOLVE – the National Infertility Association)

Myth: Infertility is a women’s problem.

Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won’t feel isolated. […]

Make a Wish for Awareness of Women’s Sexual Health

Actually, do more than wish. Be active.

Sign this online WISH petition to add your voice to others advocating for greater attention to women’s sexual health needs. The WISH petition is sponsored by the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH), which is a professional organization for those of us who work in the field of women’s sexual health.

The petition supports ISSWSH’s position that “female sexual disorders are valid conditions that warrant assessment, diagnosis and appropriate therapeutic intervention.” […]

Birthday Parties with Special Needs…

by Julia Garstecki

Raising a child with a special need certainly has its ups and downs. An impending birthday party, either for your child or a peer, can be a roller coaster ride of emotions for both you and your child. With creative planning and realistic expectations, your child can be a part of the fun.

If you are hosting….

Let your child guide the planning. What does your child like? What are they able to do? If your child doesn’t like chaos on a daily basis, they certainly won’t have fun with a house full of kids amped up on cake and ice-cream! You can still decorate and get a cake, even if there are only a few guests to make it special. […]