by Liz Raptis Picco
When it comes to loving my teenagers, Crazy Loco Love stretches me just shy of breaking point. At times, the connection between our children almost seems hardwired to snap, split, and break away while they reach for adulthood. They seem like strangers when they’re sheathed in snarky self-absorption. The plausibility of body snatching pods intensifies: I’ve stared into their eyes, just in case. […]
by Jenilyn Gilbert
I met my husband swing dancing in Grant Park in downtown Chicago when I was 38 years old. We dated for a couple of years and I was one month into my fortieth year when I walked down the aisle. 
I recall the time before I met him; all the first dates, sadness over not having a life partner and feeling so left out and so behind my peers. I attended so many wedding showers and weddings that I never thought my turn would come. When I attended a friend’s second wedding, I thought ‘that’s it, this will never be me, now they’re starting to run two circles around me. I will never get married.’ Now that I’m two years into my marriage I just want to be pregnant. […]
by Karen Maezen Miller
They love us in a different way.
I said that when someone asked what it was like to have a teenager.
I feel like we’ve lost a daughter.
My husband said that after a silent and inconsequential Sunday.
Just shut up.
I said that to her after a ride in the car yesterday.
And yet, there is love, so much love between us and it has gone nowhere! I am standing on the high bluff over death valley, infinite openness in all directions, stunned dumb in the emptiness, but I know the space before me is pure love. Pure love. Life grows here, even when we can’t see it. Refreshed in a cool night, fed by invisible rivulets. A whisper of sea sails five hundred miles across five mountain ranges, and the whisper is this.
They love us in a different way.
They love us in the space, the space that is nothing but love.
Love is not a feeling, not a thought, nothing given or got, not more or less. Not a precaution or warning, not a push or a prod. Not a reminder, not a teaching, not a performance. Love is not what I say and not what you hear. Not how was school how was the test what about homework what are you wearing wash your face eat your dinner pick up your shoes I don’t like her him that when if what did you do what did you say what about your terrible wonderful failure success happiness sadness what about me what about me what about me?
Love is the space between us. There is so much space.
What will you put into that space today, I ask myself before I hear the roar of my own echo.
Just shut up.
Reprinted with permission […]
Liz Raptis Picco
I’m soon to be 60, raising teenage brothers who my husband and I adopted from Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua almost fifteen years ago. Being a Latina and native speaker definitely helped when we approached an orphanage in northern Mexico. Being a Latina also made it difficult for me to talk about it openly among my family.
I’ve noticed the same reluctance in Latinas to discuss infertility and IVF, as well as adoption. I follow many wonderful blogs where important issues concerning Latinas are showcased, but I have not yet found one that discusses infertility.
Why? […]
by Rosemary Lichtman Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.
By now you’ve likely made your New Year’s resolutions or aligned your energy with your deepest intentions. Want to know the best way to stay on track? Keep a journal. This process can help you create a personal plan and develop the tools to actualize it. […]
by Jenilyn Gilbert
Dear Reader: Please meet our newest regular contributor, Jenilyn Gilbert – a fertility coach, certified yoga instructor, and adoption counselor.
As a fertility coach and someone personally trying to conceive in her 40’s, I have found that keeping an open mind and open heart around how your child comes to you can be quite the challenge when there are so many different ways to become a mother. Perhaps you’ve been trying naturally to conceive and you’re researching fertility doctors now, or you’ve done many IVF’s and the doctor is suggesting third party reproduction, or you’ve exhausted your biological efforts and are moving on to adoption. […]
by Adam Pertman
When we don’t fully understand something, we’re prone to make mistakes when dealing with it. This not-very-profound truism popped into my head recently as I was thinking about how to lead into a new commentary – the one you’re reading right now – about the negative repercussions of the secrecy, stigma and shame that permeated adoption for generations and, alas, sometimes still do. […]
by Aleta St. James
You probably haven’t given your colon a great deal of thought, unless you’ve ever had to prep for a colonoscopy. Now, I’m going to ask you to look at your colon in a whole new way. It’s the key to experiencing true emotional digestion. So what’s emotional digestion? […]
by Susan Newman
Dear Reader: Today is the the last day of school for my two youngest children. Tomorrow, they will begin the long summer wait for the next school year to start. This cyclical passing of time is short-lived, I know, punctuated by those all-familiar rituals which change as they (and I) age. This essay is in homage to them and the reality that time is truly fleeting…
Today, I waved to both my daughter and son as they rode away on the school bus. It was the silly kind of wave – two arms flailing, and me jumping up and down as if I was flagging down a passing ship. I made the heart sign to them and blew them both a kiss. We all continued waving until the bus was out of sight. Walking back to my house, I had a lump in my throat. I am so sad. The times they are a’changing… […]