Midlife Mothers Archives - Page 12 of 16

Perspective (It’s All About Perspective)

by Jane Samuel

In my older age (NOT old age) I have noticed something. Call it an Oprah-Aha-moment. Or wisdom that comes with gray hair – of which I have none yet, thank you very much. Or clarity. Or Karma.

Whatever it is, it is important. It is what can turn an opinion on its head, an observation into a judgment or a friend away. It can make silver-linings shine through apparent darkness.

It’s perspective. And as we age we gain more of it I hope. At least that seems to be the case with me and why I am glad that I am parenting my kids a tad later than I had planned.

I think back over so many events that now seem vastly different because life has handed me – through other events – perspective. […]

Sticks and Stones

by Ellie Stoneley

Dear Reader: Our very own UK-based Ellie Stoneley has been shortlisted for the prestigious Brilliance in Blogging award for her blog, Mush Brained Ramblings.

Here is her latest work:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones But names will never hurt me”

This pearl of wisdom, attributed to a Mrs George Cuppples in something called Tappy’s Chicks back in 1872, is now part of nursery folklore.

I’ve never been particularly bothered by names or labels, which is probably just as well. I always wanted to be known as Beth (inspired by sweet gentle Beth from Little Women), but that never stuck, instead I ended up with Ellie as a result of my brother singing his version of (N)ellie the elephant very gleefully when my mother plated my hair into tight braids behind my ears which then stuck out at right angles.

I married in my mid forties (maybe the ears had put people off before that) and a few months before the wedding, was referred to by someone as a ‘spinster’ that’s one of the few names I have objected to … not long after that I became a “Mrs.,” a label that seems somehow too grown up for me and I’ve never quite got the hang of. Then, by an utter miracle, just over four years later, I became a mother. […]

Motherhood, with Gratitude

by Andrea Lynn

Kristi and children by photographer Tracy Cianflone

I finally saw the NURTURE: Stories of New Midlife Mothers* photo exhibit. I’ve seen many of the photos on the website, of course, and knew about the project before I started blogging here. I consider the creator of this whole Midlife Mothering project an old friend, though I suppose it has only been a few years. But, seeing the photos in real life, and reading the stories of the mothers and their children in black and white, was different.

We read so much online now, it seems rare to be standing before a real photo, much larger than my computer screen, and reading the stories in person, as others shuffled around me, sharing the exhibit space in downtown Toronto. […]

My Misconceptions About Conceiving

by Lori Shandle-Fox

There are a dozen reasons why, according to nobody but me, I shouldn’t have had trouble getting pregnant. Sure, I was old. But my mother had been too. She was 36 when my sister was born and 40 when I was born.

Shouldn’t I somehow have inherited my mother’s fertility? I’m not sure exactly how of course. Through osmosis, photosynthesis, something. I mean we were pretty close, I looked just like her, and we lived in the same house for 18 years. Clearly the dominant fertility gene should have rubbed off on me somehow. And my sister and I were both born in the sixties. Haven’t our lifestyles and technology and our environments progressed so much in forty plus years that our reproductive systems should have been more durable? (Yes, I AM aware that not one of those is rational but there you have it.) […]

Myths About Donor Egg and Donor Sperm

by Amy Demma

Myth: It isn’t your baby.

Busted!: I hear this worry from more prospective recipients of donor gametes (and donor embryo) than just about any other concern. I first address this matter in a legal context and discuss with clients that any donor (sperm, egg, embryo) should be expected to relinquish all rights to the gametes (or the embryos) as well as explicitly relinquish parental rights to children resulting from the donation. With sperm donation, this relinquishment is typically done through consents at the cryobank. With egg and embryo donation, it is recommended that relinquishment of donor rights be memorialized in a direct contract between the donor and the recipient.

Of equal concern, though, is whether or not the parent who lacks in a shared genetic connection with the child will feel a parental connection, while this should be explored with a mental health professional experienced in collaborative reproduction …the best response I have to offer is the following quote from a parent of a donor conceived child: “The child who came into my life is the most beautiful, spirited child…he is the child I was meant to have and he fills me with love every minute of the day.” […]

Facts and Myths About Infertility (from RESOLVE – the National Infertility Association)

Myth: Infertility is a women’s problem.

Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won’t feel isolated. […]

Is Infertility Awareness Week for Me, Too? (Infertility Awareness Week – 4/21 – 4/27/2013)

by Jenilyn Gilbert LCSW

The 28 year old woman who is told ‘adoption is your only option’; the mother who wants to add another child to her family but feels guilty that others don’t have their first child yet; the 42-year-old woman who questions whether the diagnosis of infertility even applies to her, are all women who belong to this club of wanting to be mothers, but within this reluctant membership, there are subcultures, divided by age and diagnosis. In an already isolating experience, is it healthy to divide ourselves further? […]

Five Whole Foods to Help Banish Wrinkles

by Kris T. Smith

Who wants to look years younger than your actual age? Most of you do, admit it. It’s hard keeping up with all these magic creams, night serums and day serums. Besides, are they really good for your skin? And do they really work as well as the manufacturers advertise? If you read the labels on a lot of them, they are filled with harmful chemicals that you should be avoiding anyway. What you need to be doing is protecting your skin from the free radicals floating around in the environment and bombarding your skin.

What if there was a way to get rid of those pesky wrinkles naturally? If you increase your intake of foods filled with natural anti-oxidants and anti-inflammatory agents, you will find you have better results. Would you be able to follow a diet like this? Here are five foods you can eat that will help banish those wrinkles and give you younger looking skin.

1. Blueberries

The U.S. Department of Agriculture says that blueberries are higher in anti-oxidant properties than strawberries by approximately 40 percent. Remember the anti-oxidants protect your skin from the free radicals from the environment that are constantly attacking your skin. They are also full of vitamin C, which encourages the growth and formation of collagen. Collagen renewal helps keep the skin looking younger and also decreases the effects of aging. […]

Six Things Adoptive/Foster Families Need When New Children Arrive

by Lisa Qualls

This was the question,

What would have helped you the most in the early weeks and months of adding a child to your family through adoption or foster care? If somebody had asked you, “What can I do to help?” and you were able to answer anything at all with no shame, guilt, or concern about whether they really would want to do it, what would it have been?

This is what you answered:

Bring Food

Many of you stated that having meals delivered allowed more time to focus on all of your children, but also gave you some contact with “the outside world.” It does not have to be dinner, as somebody said, even bringing cut-up fruit would help. Someone else mentioned having dinner brought by friends who then shared the meal and spent the evening with them. One person wrote that when they adopted a baby, friends brought meals, but when they adopted an older child people assumed it wasn’t as demanding and didn’t bring meals. I think we can safely say that every adopting/foster family will be blessed by meals. […]

The Sweet Surrender of Sleep

by Jennifer Magnano

Sleep always seems to come most easily to those in great fatigue in every place and space of being. All of our “bodies” – physical, spiritual, emotional, mental – are finally depleted. It so appears that only at this very moment, when we have nothing left to give and are completely “fried,” that we just might be able to rest… and rest well. Yet, this often is not the case. Most nurturers don’t experience really great slumber. Restless or chronically overtired, it is with great uncertainty that we reach out to the blissful edge of sweet surrender. […]