midlife mothering Archives - Page 2 of 8

Second Chance

by Janice Eidus

Twelve years ago, in middle age, you and your husband begin the process of adopting a child from Guatemala. You’re assured by your lawyers that the adoption will go quickly, and that within a few months, you’ll be a mother. Still, you’re intimidated by the seemingly endless mounds of paperwork, and by how you must be fingerprinted and meet numerous times with social workers and lawyers. You assure yourself that it’s all worth it to become the mother of a child who needs you, and whom you need. […]

The Wilderness of Motherhood

by Lora Freeman Williams

A pregnancy test is like a Rorscach: one’s inner world gets tossed back at her in sharp relief. I stared at mine and felt the weight of my childhood and the hope of a different future in a dizzying twist of emotions.

My own mother had become pregnant with me in 1968, when she was single and an as yet undiagnosed schizophrenic. Exhibiting a striking combination of paranoia and common sense, she moved herself and me a few hundred miles away from her dysfunctional relations and embarked on the next 13 years of our life together. […]

Cyma Shapiro Interviews Photographer Dave Engledow

In 2010, after the birth of his daughter, Alice Bee, (midlife father and) photographer Dave Engledow set out to capture her in a variety of humorous situations. Placing only the two of them in the photos, he created a series of vignettes which allowed him to express his (many varied) emotions at being a first-time dad, while documenting the growth of his daughter. He hoped this collection would be his gift to her, as an adult. […]

If This Is October, Then It Must Be…

by Maggie Lamond Simone

Well, kids, I’m here to report that we’re lifting the lid on “Toilet Repair Month.” I know, I know, I’m sort of down in the dumps about it too; just when you think you could overflow with excitement about summer, there it goes, swirling away. May it rust – er, rest – in peace.

Yep, October received that very special designation by – come on, now, be creative here – yes! Manufacturers of toilet parts! They’ve finally conceded what I’ve always recognized as an epidemic problem, i.e. the reckless abandon with which people flush other people’s toilets during the Halloween season. It was just a matter of time, really. […]

If Men Watched Children Like Auto Mechanics

by Marc Parsont

Men are like auto mechanics.

We haven’t been primary childcare givers for more than just gender and birthing ability. We do things, look at things differently. Groups supporting men being primary caregivers exist to ease the mind of women/mothers and to hide how men actually relate to one another. […]

The Blessing of the Strong-Willed Child

by Melissa Lapides

Image courtesy of theeducatorsspinonit.
blogspot.com

Nobody warned you when becoming a parent that there might be times, sometimes more than not, that your child can be unlikeable, maybe even plain excruciating to be around. This could very well be the case if you are parenting a strong-willed child. The whining, relentless demanding and explosive reactions can be downright exhausting for a parent. This is not generally the type of reaction you imagine yourself having toward your child when you are pregnant or planning a family.

Feeling this way toward your child can be an awful feeling for a mother to have or share. The shame around it is horrific and humiliating to even imagine sharing with another mother. You may wonder if you are the only mother who has these feelings toward your children at all. It really does seem like every other mother is adoring and so calm around her children, right? […]

When He Naps

by Amy Wright Glenn

When he naps, I meditate.

I nurse him down to sleep. Milk and song mingle together and soon his breath moves into the rhythms of dreamland.

We breathe together as a calm, holy, wonder moves through the house. Toys are still. Dishes are done and the leaves outside dance in the wind. I stay home with this boy and offer my light to him. I know that this is sacred work. […]

How to Find Your Mothering Zen

by Melissa Lapides, MA, MFT

As a mother, it is sometimes hard to find peace in a busy day. I am not just talking about the kind of peace that you experience by the few valued moments that you actually get to sit down and relax, but about the inner peace that makes you feel connected to your purpose in being a mother.

Sometimes you can get so caught up in the daily routines and emotions that it is hard to connect to what you are really working towards as a parent. Raising children can feel busy and repetitive at times and sometimes you can loose sight of what you are really trying to accomplish. Are you working towards how many activities you can successfully get your children to participate in or are you working towards raising your children to be self-confident, self-reliant adults. […]

American Adoptive Parents Don’t Deserve the Heat

by Tina Traster

A few weeks ago, a filmmaker for Radio Free Europe spent the day with my family at our home in upstate New York documenting our “ordinary” moments. Olga Loginova, the filmmaker, promised to produce the six-minute documentary within a week. She said it was urgent to show the world there are “successful Russian adoptions.”

Why? Because Americans’ ability to parent Russian orphans has become a flashpoint in a complicated political struggle that began when Americans took aim at Russia’s handling of human rights by passing the Magnitsky Act. The conflict escalated after Russia retaliated by shutting down adoptions to Americans after more than two decades. […]

Old Enough for Gratitude

by Andrea Lynn

My mother just dodged a cancer scare. My uncle is in the middle of one. My brother is having heart problems, and on Sunday I rushed my 2-year-old into the ER with an allergic reaction, that, thank God, resolved itself in a few hours without much medical intervention. So far, fingers crossed, everyone is fine. But it is that time of life when I’m feeling like we’re living on very shaky foundations, and no one should be taking anything for granted. […]