Melanie Elliott Archives - Mothering in the Middle

Fond Memories and Holiday Traditions

by Melanie Elliott

Doesn’t it seem like we celebrate Halloween and then all of a sudden it’s the New Year?! Where does the time go? Trying to stay ahead of the game this year and get most of the holiday shopping, at least for relatives, completed well beforehand…at least that’s the hope.

As we near the Christmas/Hanukkah holiday, I often reminisce about what my Christmas tradition was prior to getting married. I am Jewish, but grew up celebrating Hanukkah and Christmas, Passover and Easter. Mind you, Christmas and Easter were solely celebrated for Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. My mother loves Christmas and all the cooking and decorating that goes along with that. My more religious Jewish friends never understood why we celebrated Christmas.

I love decorating the Christmas tree, aligning the ornaments in the correct positions to achieve maximum glow from the colored lights. There is an art to it. Reaching into the tree near the trunk to place ornaments providing depth and greater reflections of light. It’s fun, and I’m excited to carry on this particular tradition with The Littlest E who is now 6 and can be trusted to not topple over the tree. […]

Adoption’s Teachable Moment #27

by Melanie Elliott

If you’ve been reading my posts, you’ll know that my family is a transracial adoptive family. My husband and I brought our son home with us from Ethiopia nearly 5 years ago when he was a little over a year old.

Since bringing him home, when we are with The Littlest E and sometimes without him, we’ve experienced those awkward and/or uncomfortable moments when someone says something inappropriate (but well meaning at times) about adoption.

They may say something that’s meant to be a joke, but comes off completely off color. Or, they may do something outright rude. When that happens, and it does, I use that as an opportunity for an “Adoption Teaching Moment” as I like to call it. […]

Up Close and Personal: The Joys of Turning 50 – The Colonoscopy

by Melanie Elliott

I turned 50 this past December. It was one of the best days of my life. My husband and son showered me with love and affection. I received phone calls from family and friends, and got lots of Facebook love. Topping the evening off was dinner out with Tom and one of my BFFs, Peggy and her husband Jimmy. It was definitely a day to remember. Leading up to it I was excited, and also pensive.

If I’m lucky, I’ll have lived half or a little over half my life and at some point I’ll probably write about how I’d prefer to spend the next half. On turning 50, one thing I knew for certain was that I’d hear from the AARP and I’d need to get a colonoscopy.

My husband had one a couple years ago and I knew what to expect. Drinking lots of liquids and spending a lot of time in the bathroom. Everyone says the preparation is the worst. Well, I’m here to say it wasn’t so bad.

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A Shout Out To Dads Everywhere

by Melanie Elliott

Father’s Day is fast approaching. I’ve been thinking about the fathers of today – what fatherhood was like in the past and how dads have changed over the years. While thinking, my brain landed on the Showtime show Masters of Sex. It’s the story of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, and, of course, the study of sex.

Renowned gynecologist, William Masters, brilliantly portrayed by Michael Sheen, was so far removed from his child he couldn’t even change his diaper, pick up his crying child, or be there for his son in any way that provided emotional support, love or affection.

Now, this may be a dramatization (and a gross generalization), but there’s a part of me that thinks there’s some truth in this show as to how dads parented back in the late 1950s. Not all dads, but probably a large percentage of fathers. Parenting was for the wife and/or nanny (if you lived in an affluent home). […]

New Beginnings in the Workforce (A Tale of the Modern Midlife Woman/Mother)

by Melanie Elliott

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be an actress. I did plays in my youth with high school, community theatre and even in college. Then, in the early 90s, I moved to Chicago and got an MFA in acting.

In 2000 I started the new millennium in Los Angeles with the hopes of using my degree to succeed as an actor. I had some good auditions, did a bit of theatre, but suffice it to say, making a living as an actor in Los Angeles was not my path. I often say the best part about my LA acting career was meeting me husband. We met at an audition in 2000, got cast in the play together, our showmance became a romance, and we’ve been married a little over 11 years now. […]

A Family Valentine’s Day

by Melanie Elliott

I’m kind of one of those people who consider Valentine’s Day a Hallmark-created holiday. Growing up, I tried not to buy into the importance of the day and the romantic notions that permeate this holiday. I wasn’t quite successful.

There was a part of me that longed for the flowers and chocolates and the boyfriend who’d treat me like a queen on this special day. But, that was only a part of me. The other part of me didn’t want to be defined by whom I was with or how I was treated when February 14 rolled around.

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Celebrating Multicultural Holidays In Our Home

by Melanie Elliott

For some reason, being the eldest daughter in a Jewish family, I always thought I should marry a Jewish man. Well, I fell in love with the most wonderful man in the world who happens to be the son of a retired-Episcopal minister.

I grew up celebrating Easter and Passover, Christmas and Hanukkah, even though I’m Jewish. I knew my folks would be fine with me marrying Tom; they knew we loved each other very much and they knew we both had good heads on our shoulders. Our families welcomed our togetherness. To culminate our union, we had a beautifully blended dual ceremony with an Episcopal minister and a Jewish friend (ordained minister) performing our service. […]

The Perimenopausal Double Whammy
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The Perimenopausal Double Whammy

Commentary, Daily Living, Health During Midlife, Mothers Over 40, Perimenopause & Menopause

The Perimenopausal Double Whammy

by Melanie Elliott

I became a mom, through adoption, at the age of 45. I’ve been a mom now for a little over 4 years, which means I’m pushing 50.

Yikes and Yay!

I love being this age, even though I have a few more cricks and creaks in my body. For the most part, I have a pretty level head, am grounded and comfortable in my skin. Life is good with no major complaints. There’s a bit more stress in my everyday world because we recently rescued a lovely dog, Pepper, so we’re all adjusting to the furry addition in our lives. And, there’s an added layer of, well let me call it mishegas (Yiddish for crazy), in life due to entering the world of perimenopause. […]

Celebrating Our 4th Familyversary
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Celebrating Our 4th Familyversary

Adoption, Commentary, Daily Living, Mothers Over 40

Celebrating Our 4th Familyversary

by Melanie Elliott

I truly can’t believe it’s been 4 years since The Littlest E became our son. Where did all the time go? I’m sure most parents feel the same way when celebrating their child’s birthday, along with tremendous joy and gratitude. As an adoptive parent, I get to celebrate the birth of our son, and the birth of our family, our Family Day.

I hope I never forget what life was like before The Littlest E came home with us, so that I don’t lose the gratitude I feel everyday that I get to be his Mom. Adoption is a gift, one that I cherish with my very soul, for without that gift, my life and my husband’s life would be drastically different. […]

Reflections of a Stay-at-Home-Mom (SAHM)

by Melanie Elliott

I became a mom at 45. It wasn’t by design. I met my husband at 35, married at 38, and we tried to start a family six months after we married. To our surprise, that was no easy task.

After three invitros, two inseminations, a frozen embryo transfer and after mixing in four years of acupuncture, various shamans and healers, along with several miscarriages and a too-long process to adopt a baby from China, we finally became parents six ½ years later when we brought our son home from Ethiopia in August 2010. […]