M.D. Archives - Mothering in the Middle

On Failure, Forgiveness and Cutting Ourselves Some Slack

by Peg O'Neill, M.D.

Dear Reader: This is a reprint of a previous post.

We forgot about “Gotcha Day.” In the world of adoptive families, this is a significant faux-pas. “Gotcha Day” is the celebration of bringing a non-biologic child into the family. For us, it commemorates the day our family became whole; the day that my husband and I were given the gift of our precious child and entered the challenging world of raising multiple boys, with all the craziness, motion, joy and exhaustion.

For my older son, it was the day he became a sibling and began his journey as a big brother. For my adoptive son, though he was just six months old when he joined our family forever, it is akin to a birthday – a momentous event, a beginning, a symbol of who he is, at least in part. […]

Lessons and Carols

by Peg O'Neill, M.D.

Thanksgiving
For each new morning with its light,

For rest and shelter of the night,

For health and food,

For love and friends,

For everything thy goodness sends.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 – 1882)

Leave it to a seemingly-clueless sixth-grade boy, who still needs to be reminded of some of the basic principles of functioning in life, such as the importance of brushing one’s teeth before leaving the house in the morning, or using something other than one’s shirt to wipe one’s mouth, to come home enthusiastically sharing the wisdom of his newly-discovered gift of an old poem, which pretty much sums up what is truly important, a flurry of words so crystal clear in simplicity and truth, reminding us of what really matters. […]

Sex: It Really is Chemistry

by Dr. Barb Depree

What makes sex feel so good? What ignites passion and sustains attachment? What is it that makes your heart flutter? And how can you keep those feelings alive, especially in the bedroom, after 10—or 40—years?

Turns out passion and attraction—all the stuff of poetry, song, and story—are the product of your most ancient brain—the limbic system—which you have in common with lots of other animals and which regulates a chemical stew of neurotransmitters. Emotions, drives, impulses, and desires originate in the limbic system. This part of the brain is wired for pleasure and passion, and it operates independently of our conscious choice or will. […]

STIs: Up Close and Personal (II of II)

by Dr. Barb Depree, M.D.

In a post last month we established that folks over 50 are reentering the singles scene with seriously outdated information about the sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that have become commonplace since their own prom nights.

When it comes to older people and STIs, “don’t ask; don’t tell” is the MO. Doctors don’t think to ask Grandma about her sex life, and Grandma sure ain’t talking. […]

STIs: Up Close and Personal with Viruses (Part I of II)

by Dr. Barb Depree, M.D.

In our little roundup of sexually transmitted infections, maybe you’ve noticed that many of them have no symptoms, and others mimic common illnesses like the flu or a urinary tract infection.

The take-away? There’s no way to know if you’re carrying an STI without getting tested. And there’s no way to prevent reinfection unless your partner gets tested, too. […]

New Study: Docs Don’t Talk About Sex (Part III of III)

by Dr. Barb Depree, M.D.

When was the last time your doctor asked you how your sex life was going?

I thought so.

In a new study, a team from the University of Chicago surveyed over a thousand OB/GYNs about whether they talk with their patients about sex. The results may not surprise you, but they won’t reassure you, either. […]

Full Circle

by Peg O'Neil, M.D.

“I can do it myself!” says my six-year-old, as he swings his leg up the high bottom branch of the cherry tree in our front yard. I have just given him a barely perceptible, gentle nudge to help him get where he wants to be, but it’s clear that he doesn’t want this. I need to back off. What he really wants at this point is for me to be there, to cheer him on and observe his triumph. […]

Talking Sex With Your Healthcare Provider (Part I of III)

by Dr. Barb Depree, M.D.

Dr. Sheryl Kingsberg is a MiddlesexMD advisor and a psychologist specializing in women’s sexual health. She talks to physicians a lot about why it’s important to at least ask about a patient’s sexual health and maybe take her sexual health history. So she’s very familiar with the view from the physician’s side of the desk when it comes to talking about sex with patients. […]

A Few Topics…. From Our Friends at MiddlesexMD

by Barb Depree

Q: Can I use my electric toothbrush erotically?

I get occasional questions about erotic use of various household objects. I am, after all, long trained as a physician, so safety and hygiene are among my first concerns. And, since starting MiddlesexMD, I’ve seen some very well designed vibrators, dilators, and dildos that I know are safe, easy to clean, and designed specifically for older women’s pleasure. […]

The Journey to Bitch and Back

by Peg O'Neill, M.D.

Mother’s Day was a little different for me this year. During my past decade-plus of Mother’s Days, my general approach, similar to that of many of us who wear these shoes, has been that this is a day for my children and husband to appreciate me. But this year, I decided that I needed to mix it up a little bit. […]