John M. Simmons Archives - Mothering in the Middle

The Enigma of Adoption

by John M. Simmons

So… is adoption an institution of saintly parents rescuing abandoned children from orphanages and people who steal Christmas Oranges from orphans?

Is it a multibillion dollar business that exploits young, inexperienced mothers-to-be and pressures them into giving up their babies with tales of how incompetent they are compared to wise and rich parents who have been cursed with infertility but blessed with enough money to buy whatever they want?

Is it a villainous underworld that steals children away from their home countries and cultures? Is adoption a Divine practice? Is it a devil? Is it a sheepskin used to cover wolves? […]

Would You Do It Again?

by John M. Simmons

“Would you do it again?” What kind of a question is that? She’s my daughter! What do you mean, “Would I do it again?”

If you rushed into a burning building to rescue some of your children, and one of them was horrifically damaged before you got to her, you would still drag her out. You would do it even if you got hurt, yourself. You would do it even if she cried to be left behind because her pain was too great. As a parent, you would drag her out, against her will, kicking and screaming.

Then you would get her help. It would be the best help money could buy. You would spare nothing to help her mentally, emotionally and physically. […]

6 Things you might be doing that hurt adoptive families

by John M. Simmons

Amy and I have always worked hard with our adopted children (oops, even I get it wrong sometimes) “children who were adopted” in an effort to help them avoid feeling offended. We are not sticklers for political correctness. We try to prepare our children for questions or comments that they might encounter and have them ready to understand what people mean, or what their real question is, rather than getting their feelings hurt.

Even so, there are times when people with the best intentions say and do things that make it difficult for our children. Knowing that such friends only want to help, I decided to share these points that will assist well intentioned friends and acquaintances in helping adoptive families like ours. […]