healing with serendipity Archives - Mothering in the Middle

Addressing (My) Parenthood Guilt

by Lynn Reilly

Parent’s guilt. I’m not even sure when it officially begins, but it could be as early as when first looking into your child’s eyes and knowing that life will never be the same. That moment when imagining what it was going to be like to hold the responsibility of caring for someone else. The “shoulds” begin almost immediately with the thought of how we want things to be.

I “should” be with my child as much as humanly possible.

I “should” give them every opportunity to be independent yet fully set them up to depend on me for just about everything.

I “should” let go of all my personal needs and become Super Human to make sure my child gets whatever they need both physically and emotionally.

Something like that.

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The Forever Fatherhood of Fame (A Tribute to My Father)

by Lynn Reilly

If you were to meet my father in person, you would not call him trendy, ahead of the times, or progressive. He would not stand out in any way other than a warm, welcoming smile that makes you wonder what’s behind it. His classic Dockers, or jeans and white sneakers with a polo shirt would quickly categorize him as the conservative businessman he is. He is polite and friendly, but not overly friendly.

He is considerate, but likes things run his way. He acknowledges himself as unique, but really, he just blends into a crowd. You wouldn’t meet my father and know he raised two kids primarily on his own. You wouldn’t know the mother of his children spent the majority of their marriage in and out of treatment for a mental illness that disabled her on many levels.

You wouldn’t know when he finally left the marriage it was because the roller coaster had no end in sight and there was nothing left that he hadn’t tried to make it work. You also wouldn’t know the intense pain and regret he felt when the woman he vowed to love forever, eventually took her own life. […]