Just Before Two Years/Six Months/Five Days and a Handful of Hours – Ago

by Stefan Kleinschuster

hollywoodWhat do I do here, in Hollywood, with the V-Word? Backstory: (Before Kid) I remember scores of parents everywhere talking about their children. Sorry, that’s a lie. I don’t remember scores of parents saying anything. That would have required caring about what parents were saying, and I remember a decade or two, maybe four or so, when I didn’t much care what they said.

Apart from that, I do recall them asking things in plangent tones like, “‘What are we teaching our children about the world?” and other sayings that felt a good deal like whining at the time.

Back then – about two years, six months, five days and a handful of hours  (that is, before Sophie was born) – I could not have cared less about what we were teaching our children. Especially, about the V-Word. No, get your minds out of the bedrooms. I meant Violence. It’s no big deal, right? Especially since it’s everywhere? […]

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For Father’s Day: An Homage to My Child’s Mother

by Stefan Kleinschuster

Stefan's wifeSo, I was taking one of our wonderful walks with my crying kid through this dreamy California neighborscape. Sophie had fallen and scraped her hands – something she wouldn’t even balk at had she been at the park or further away from Her. But here, and after the fateful events of ten minutes ago, she was focused, you could say, on a certain (female) person.

I doubted the morale of our trip in the first place. Ten minutes before we were leaving Her, and after Her sweet kisses and soft looks, my daughter did an award–winning impression of an eternal goodbye with tears that would make a winged Oscar Committee cry into their leather seats. Blue eyes rimmed in red, platinum hair being blown by the foul wind of her Departure with Daddy, she wailed like Winslet. […]

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Slings and Arrows on the Playground (Or, How to Watch Your Kid Grow Up)

by Stefan Kleinschuster

Stefan K and kidI’ll tell you what’s difficult: not having a reaction when your kid (or other’s kids) fall down. On the one hand they say that falling down is part of life and, on the other, is the wild reaction when my or their kid takes a digger.

If it’s part of life, then why are we so crazy about reacting?

I know myself – the feeling of that tangy shock when a kid – any kid – especially your own kid, falls on their knees in the street, raking that tender, perfect skin on the asphalt. It’s all you can do to keep your hands from flying to your head and having some primordial sound come out of your mouth. It’s nearly unbearable.

Barefoot or shod, that is the question. Barefoot eliminates the extra possibility of a trip and fall. But those delicate little toes! Jabs, slivers, metal… either way something’s going to happen. […]

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Skipping Valentine’s Day Forever (A Love Story)

by Nicholas D'Ambra

Nicholas son in winterWhen I was little, my Dad would come home every Valentine’s Day with his arms over flowing with sweets and treats from our local Douglas Drug store. I can imagine him standing in a long line with other men who were last minute shopping.

My Dad wasn’t a last minute shopper, this was just how he did it, every single year.  The gifts he carried weren’t just for my Mom, but for me and my sister as well. There were always chocolates for us and sometimes a toy or stuffed animal.  My mom annually received a large heart-shaped box of chocolates and roses.

Years later, I carried on with the tradition. I bought similar gifts for that special person I was dating. I also purchased various chocolates and heart shaped items for my single friends so they wouldn’t feel left out. Then, when I met my husband-to-be, it all changed. Valentine’s Day was no longer that special day to espouse love and present gifts. It was just another day, no special than any other. It saddened me to think it was over. […]

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Kindly Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future

by Nicholas D'Ambra

Nicholas as a babyWith shopping, cooking, decorating, organizing, scheduling, mailing, and the balancing of familial personalities, holidays are not always as joyful as they are stressful. While the rest of us will be running around like chickens…or turkeys…with our heads cut off, my son will be awaiting the arrival of the red-suited man with the jolly laugh. I remember doing the same as a hopeful young boy.

I can remember the glory of Christmas Eve when I was a kid. The house was filled with green and red anticipation. Unmistakable seasonal aromas hung in the air in and around our cozy kitchen. My mom made pans upon pans of butterballs,date cookies and egg biscuits each in their own sugary powder or glaze. I’m not saying that family drama wasn’t going on around us, only that I cannot remember it from my blissfully ignorant rearview mirror. […]

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Daylight Saving Time is a Waste of My Time

by Nicholas D'Ambra

Daylight-Savings-time_0Throughout most of my adult life Daylight Saving Time meant nothing to me, save for the fact that every fall I got an extra hour of sleep.  I was only mildly annoyed that I lost that same hour every spring. That was the case…until I had kids.  Our daughter was born in June.  Sleepless nights were the joy of our summer this year.

Having a five year old boy running around (reminding us that he doesn’t nap anymore) only made that fuzzy glow around each day that much fuzzier.  There were no “nap when she naps.”  By the end of September she was finally sleeping through the night.  Some parents have looked at us in awe over this.  Let me be clear, it was no easy feat.

We aren’t the “cry it out” parents so the Furber method was out.  We are not those “extremely patient” parents so the letting-the-child-decide-when-they-are-ready-to-sleep method was out as well. […]

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Helicopter Parent, Me (And the Price We Pay for Technology)

by Nicholas D'Ambra

I am a self-proclaimed helicopter parent.  I originally thought the term meant one who rises above everything while looking out for everyone.  Turns out, it references a parent who hovers.

I’ve been told this by all the “professional” parents around me and some school care-givers as well. They don’t actually say “helicopter parent” to my face, but, rather they whisper or infer it.  It’s okay.  We waited until our forties to have a family.

If I seem cautious with my children, it’s because life has taught me a lot and I’m trying to protect them from excessive E.R. visits. But, I want them to learn from my mistakes. Rarely a good thing to be sure.  I wrestle with this everyday.  My Mom and Dad wanted a better life for me and my sister; I want better for my children.  But I wonder,  are we making life too easy for our children?

I see other parents do it and sometimes I cringe.  Recently, at dinner with another family, I witnessed a full nuclear meltdown when the child hadn’t received a particular color of crayon. My wide eyes and gaping mouth did little to hide my shock at how the parent handled this. Instead of taking their child aside and discussing the unacceptable behavior, the parent walked up to the host station and requested a red crayon for her “poor” child who neglectfully did not receive all of the appropriate shades in their crayon box.  Crisis averted…or delayed?

I may have also unwittingly made similar mistakes.  (But my son is really cute!)  I’m not kidding; even his pediatrician asked me if it was difficult to say no.  It is.  But I do. And I stick to it…mostly.  (But, seriously… he’s reallllly cute!)

The […]

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Our First Back-to-School and Other Catastrophes

by Nicholas D'Ambra

Preschool was difficult enough.  But, at least it was owned by my best friend. And, I already knew a lot of the staff before our little two-year-old son entered the gates.

For the first two weeks, I stayed at school (my husband was with me the first week) and watched.  For two and a half hours, twice a week, I hid behind some wire fencing about fifteen feet away and watched.  And cried. And watched.  I was getting used to our routine when my dear friend who owns the school came up to me and said, “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”  Turns out it was a therapist.  […]

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Back-to-School, But Why?

by Austin Wimberly

The end of summer approaches, and vacations that took months of planning are now nestled in camera rolls of our iPhones.  The baseball season that began with hope for every team now holds promise for a remaining few.  And, the season for summer squash and tomatoes is coming to a close.  But, as with all things in life, the end of one chapter marks the beginning of another. With the coming fall, we look forward to football, the changing of the leaves, and school.

It’s natural to be nostalgic at the beginning of the school year.  The next incremented grade is a hard number that reminds us that our little ones are taking slow but inexorable steps towards adulthood.  For some of us, there aren’t many more steps to take.  As those steps slowly add up, we parents hope that we’ve given our children the education they’ll need to make it in that adult world. […]

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