Dear Reader: We’re pleased to present our newest contributor – Faydra Koenig, who will be available for any questions and/or issues you might have. Please forward any questions to midlifemothers@gmail.com. She will be happy to help you!

Q- Faydra, my husband left me and our young son for another woman. I feel so many emotions inside including anger, betrayal and insecurity. What is the first step for me? – Sarah from Oregon

Faydra- Sarah, first off let me say that I am so sorry that this is your current reality. I understand how you are feeling and want to encourage you to consider a few things as you move through these initial few months.

First off, infidelity rarely has to do with your adequacy as a wife, woman or mother. Studies have shown that men and women who cheat on their spouses were rarely seeking to hurt their spouse. Most often, people cheat because there are unresolved issues plaguing them and the cheating becomes an escape. Second, if you live in a state that has a no-fault divorce ruling, you will not be entitled to any sort of advantage during your proceedings because your spouse cheated. Many people feel they are entitled to more because they are the victim of infidelity. Last, it may be difficult to keep your emotions in check right now. Please engage with someone who has the training to help you keep your head and make important decisions. […]