Cyma Shapiro Archives - Page 3 of 5 - Mothering in the Middle

How To Use Grace and Compassion When Facing Hard Times

by Cyma Shapiro

In times like these: floods, drought, earthquakes, extreme hot weather, extreme cold, power outages, downed electricity/cable/telephone wires, we are plunged into circumstances that we sometimes cannot overcome. And, to add, we must handle whatever comes our way with our children in tow. I fear that the “same old, same old” is about to be the “new normal” – that is, that nothing as we’ve experienced in our lifetime(s) will be the same for our children. […]

Staying Ahead (Of The Game)….

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: We, as midlife mothers, have a never-ending (and sometimes unattainable) quest to keep current at all times, esp. given our generational gap (did I say that?). We must know what (or even more than) our kids know, while remaining contemporary. In our desire to stay hip, cool, young, I mean: tight, sick, clean, dope, sweet, bad a$$ (need help? these all mean “cool”), I’ve compiled a list of new words for 2012, which should, at the very least, catapult you ahead of your friends while playing Scrabble. Got it?

1. aha moment – a moment of sudden realization/inspiration

2. cloud computing – the practice of storing regularly used computer data on multiple servers that can be accessed through the Internet

3. copernicium – a short-lived artificially produced radioactive element that has 112 protons

4. earworm – song or melody that keeps repeating in one’s mind

5. energy drink – a usually carbonated beverage that typically contains caffeine and other ingredients (as taurine and ginseng) intended to increase the drinker’s energy

6. f-bomb – the word f$$k —used metaphorically as a euphemism

7. game changer -a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation or activity in a significant way

8. gassed – drunk

9 gastropub -pub, bar, or tavern that offers meals of high quality

10. man cave – a room or space (as in a basement) designed according to the taste of the man of the house to be used as his personal area for hobbies and leisure activities

11. sexting – the sending of sexually explicit messages or images by cell phone

12. systemic risk – the risk that the failure of one financial institution (as a bank) could […]

Embracing It All (You Can Call Me Grandma!)

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: I often write about the pitfalls and achievements of new older motherhood; the angst of moving into menopause; the knowledge that being over-50 means that the end post is right straight ahead, and in plain sight.

But, today, I’m writing about enlarging our family. No, despite many sleepless nights over this topic, we will not be adding any more children to our family. However, we are adding another member, of sorts. Today, I’m writing about my older son, who appears smitten with …let’s call her “Lady Godiva.” I am happy for him; he (and she) seems happy. I envision a wedding and all the rest of it coming my way – much sooner than later. […]

The Long Wave Goodbye

Dear Reader: Today is the the last day of school for my two youngest children. Tomorrow, they will begin the long summer wait for the next school year to start. This cyclical passing of time is short-lived, I know, punctuated by those all-familiar rituals which change as they (and I) age. This essay is in homage to them and the reality that time is truly fleeting…

Today, I waved to both my daughter and son as they rode away on the school bus. It was the silly kind of wave – two arms flailing, and me jumping up and down as if I was flagging down a passing ship. I made the heart sign to them and blew them both a kiss. We all continued waving until the bus was out of sight. Walking back to my house, I had a lump in my throat. I am so sad. The times they are a’changing… […]

Just Being A Mother

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: This is another reprint of a previously posted essay. Nearly every year I read or rerun it, simply to get perspective on my life. During this month of Mother’s Day, I hope it provides something for you, too!

When I began my first midlife mother’s project – the art gallery show NURTURE: Stories of New Midlife Mothers – and then began writing about related topics, I was grappling with my truths: about coming into motherhood at a much later age; about my impending middle age; about the “Change of Life” and all that it brings; and about reinventing oneself and all that it means, especially once I’d gone past the century mark (sssshhhhh). […]

Mother’s Day (Revisited II)

by Cyma Shapiro

I wrote this blog post a few years ago for MotherhoodLater, and reprinted it last year. This year, I’ve decided to run it again. In fact, I may make this an annual occasion. I’ve also decided to reprint the older photo of my stepson’s first real Mother’s Day present to me – flowers – as a backdrop for this – a reminder of how being a mother to my four children (in two generations) has truly made me happy and proud.

It’s amazing how one year can change things; how motherhood makes us forget what happened when our children were younger or youngest; how they came into our lives and what changes we needed to make once they were here. I can honestly say that I am nearly fully comfortable in my Motherhood-clothes, a role that I played well in the beginning, but one that I now don each day with ease in the same way that I donned singlehood for many, many years. I won’t say that there aren’t days I wish I could wake up, yawn, and go down for coffee all on my own time, my own rhythm. I will say, however, that I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been – now that I have children. […]

Valentine’s Day…All Year Long

by Cyma Shapiro

Valentine’s Day is my most favorite day of the year. I love hearts, I love red, I love love. I have various types of hearts all over my house; in my car, at my office. I keep hearts around to remind me of what’s most important in this life: to love and be loved.

This month, we’ll focus on the many facets of love leading up to and following Valentine’s Day, February 14. I hope this month’s posts inspire you, provide you with ideas and allow you to imagine what bringing more love – whether it be to yourself, your partner, your child or children, and/or community/world – would create for you…and for others. For now, love on.

The Joy of Sharing (During the Holidays) and the Lessons Learned Through Family

by Cyma Shapiro

I am an only child. My childhood was spent alone. As the youngest cousin on one side of the family and the very oldest on the other, family gatherings were lonely and unpleasant. In short, I had little interaction with anyone; I quickly learned the skill of self-play and self-containment.

Now, as the mother of four children – two in each generation – I watch their interactions with wonderment and, this year, with joy. I also recently learned a thing or two about love and family. […]

Judeo-Christian Beliefs (A Holiday Lesson)

by Cyma Shapiro

During the past few weeks, I’ve read several interesting articles on the website http://www.Kveller.com: the inclusion of Santa Claus in the Macy’s Day Parade; the struggle that interfaith relationships (esp. with children) present relative to their respective families (esp. at this time of year); and how the sending of year-end holiday cards presents a predicament if I, as a Jew, choose to celebrate my holiday in the most traditional of manners. […]

Two Generations of Kids

by Cyma Shapiro

I have two sets of kids – a common occurrence for many Midlife Mothers. I have two generations, in two differing decades, with two differing experiences. (The total count of this is four children). One is Gen Y; the other is yet to be named (soon to be called Z or M). One is pre-9/11; the other is post 9/11. One is all about the advent of social media and the importance of the Internet; the other has never lived without all of it. One is the MTV generation, the other is all about the digital age, cell phones (only) and the world of texting. More importantly, one sees the world as basically benign and good, the other as being scary and dangerous and all about the horrors seemingly right outside our front door. These aren’t just man-made horrors; these now include tornados, hurricanes, flash floods, power outages, unhappy out-of-work people, and less money to live as we’d like. […]