Christy Stansell Archives - Mothering in the Middle

The True Age of Santa Claus

by Christy Stansell

Christmas used to be so simple. My girls would compose and illustrate their letters to the North Pole in their very best flowery handwriting and colorful artistry they could muster – giving Santa great ideas of what to look for in the children’s aisles. “Santa” would find a bunch of toys, games and stuffed animals and put them under the tree and the kids were delighted on Christmas morning. Sigh. If only it were still as easy.

It all gets more and more complicated every year. What makes it so tricky? One sister is 14 – the other is 8 – and the age of Santa Claus is sadly coming to a close.

The teenager has known “the truth” for a few years now – and has been marvelous at playing along for the sake of her younger sibling. But, just like she had to be coerced into dressing up for Halloween and opted to not have an actual themed birthday party this year, she’s not easily convinced of the necessity to sit down and write that letter to Ol’ Saint Nick with her sister. […]

Every School Day is “Pajama Day”

by Christy Stansell

Don’t you love it when your kids get excited about something? I know I do! One thing my eight-year-old daughter is most tickled about is “Pajama Day” at school. At the end of the trimester, their 2^nd grade teacher lets them wear PJs and bring a pillow, blanket and favorite toy to be comfy for the class reading marathon. This novelty of wearing sleepwear to school is oh-SO cool to her and her classmates.

Well, then there’s me. I have my own opinion about going to school in jammies.

I SWORE I’d never be “that” mom who would show up to drop off her kid looking like she just rolled out of bed. (Excuse me, I’m way more professional than that.) I have a reputation to uphold. I spent 14 years in television news and am now a well-known speaker and coach. I’ve been a personal assistant to high-ranking leadership in the Idaho Senate, plus I served two terms as “Mrs. Canyon County America.” I could never be seen looking frumpy, with no makeup on and hair all amess. Have some dignity, please! […]

Teens and Hate – A Scientific Life Lesson

by Christy Stansell

You know what I HATE the most? I hate hate. And, I REALLY hate it when my children say they hate something. In fact, I hate it so much that I hate to even write this.

I hate it when people say, “Don’t you hate it when….” I hate that there is hate in the world that causes me to have to write about hate to help people see why it doesn’t even make sense to hate anything. OK. Enough. Blech! I think you get the point.

Here’s what has me riled up:

The other day, my 8^th grade daughter was getting herself ready for school. I’m proud of her because, until now, I’d have to get up early to make sure she’s out of bed in time.

[…]

Babies and Bikinis: The Great Debate

by Christy Stansell

What’s the thing you dread the most when summer comes around? The heat and humidity? The jacked-up A/C bill? The kids’ boredom complaints? How about shopping for a swimsuit – for a teenager?!

The debate isn’t just an external argument about whether or not she (the teenager) can/should have a bikini, but also the internal conflict of: Dang! I used to have that slim, beautifully curvy, soft, delicate (sexy?!) body. I’m her mother, for crying out loud!

Why am I admiring my 13 year old daughter’s physique with woeful envy?! That’s ridiculous. Or is it? Weren’t I just wearing a bikini? Wasn’t she just a baby? […]

How Our Family Makes Father’s Day a “Biggie” Deal

by Christy Stansell

I hope you don’t have one, but if you do, I’m guessing your court order looks something like mine: the child will spend Mother’s Day with Mom and Father’s Day with Dad, even if it is “supposed” to be the other parent’s weekend. That was all good and fine…. until I got remarried… and now my husband – the “step-dad” – never gets to have Father’s Day with his step-daughter. It’s heart-wrenching.

When my second husband and I were dating, my little girl told me, “When my dad goes to heaven, I want Biggie to be my daddy.” We called him “Biggie” because, as God’s humor would have it, he and my daughter have the same name, just spelled differently. Little did she know then that it wouldn’t be long before she’d get her wish. I remarried soon after my daughter’s 6th birthday. She delighted in being the flower girl for our wedding.

Now my forever-husband and my daughter are “like this” (picture fingers wound together tightly!) And, even though her birth father is still alive, my daughter calls her step-dad “Daddy” (much to her biological father’s chagrin.) I’m not about to forbid my daughter from calling him whatever endearment she feels comfortable. Honestly, if her dad got remarried, and she wanted to call his wife “Mom” I’d let her, without complaint, because I’m confident in my role as her mother… but I digress. […]