6 Great Tips for Stepfamilies/Co-Parents to Navigate Back-to-School (Madness)

by Trisha Ladogna

school bus For many families the start of the school term and the return to school is a looming presence that generates a sense of palpable unease. The back-to-school madness, coupled by parents who operate from two separate homes  juggling their respective household’s needs, brings with it a unique set of challenges.

The pressure of organizing enrollments, purchasing of school equipment and supplies and selecting and confirming extra circular activities can exacerbate simmering tensions and ignite old debates between separated parents about finances, about who did more, who did nothing or who doesn’t do enough.

The key to limiting back-to-school madness and a successful school year for parents, stepparents and children, ultimately comes down to two things: civility and effective communication between everyone involved – between parents, children, stepchildren, ex-spouses and new partners, teachers and administrators. All of whom, although in particular parents and stepparents, are integral parts in ensuring the kids’ academic success and emotional wellbeing. […]

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The Long Wave Goodbye

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: Each year, I repost this essay, written when my children were young. However, it remains true to me; the original wave is etched in my heart and mind forever.  school bus

Today, I waved to my daughter riding away on the bus. The silly kind of wave – two arms, as if jumping for dear-life and flagging down a passing ship.  We both continued waving until the bus was out of sight.  Walking back to my house, I had a lump in my throat. I am both happy and sad.

I’m sad for the time which is passing so quickly; sad, too, that I see that my parenting must be working well – my own daughter still longs for me.  (I did not have that with my own mother.) I waited a long time to become a mother (again). I will continue to try my hardest to fulfill her need until her hands stop reaching for mine, the arm waves stop, and I see her waving to her friends – not me. That time is coming. In fact, it’s just around the corner.

Writer Kelly Salasin blogged, “There are so many deaths in mothering, beginning at the beginning, and arriving every day after. But equally matched with these deaths are the blessings of a new life – new growth – new possibility.” These words resonate with me and touch my heart. […]

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Our First Back-to-School and Other Catastrophes

by Nicholas D'Ambra

Preschool was difficult enough.  But, at least it was owned by my best friend. And, I already knew a lot of the staff before our little two-year-old son entered the gates.

For the first two weeks, I stayed at school (my husband was with me the first week) and watched.  For two and a half hours, twice a week, I hid behind some wire fencing about fifteen feet away and watched.  And cried. And watched.  I was getting used to our routine when my dear friend who owns the school came up to me and said, “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”  Turns out it was a therapist.  […]

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Getting On the Bus

by Maggie Lamond Simone

“So, is he ready to get on the bus?” my friend asked, knowing my son is starting kindergarten.  “And, more importantly, are you?”

“He sure is, but last I checked, I’m not getting on the bus!” I laughed, fully aware of her meaning but not quite prepared to answer.  What she meant, of course, was, am I ready for my son to get on the bus? And, of course, I’m not.  […]

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Back-to-School, But Why?

by Austin Wimberly

The end of summer approaches, and vacations that took months of planning are now nestled in camera rolls of our iPhones.  The baseball season that began with hope for every team now holds promise for a remaining few.  And, the season for summer squash and tomatoes is coming to a close.  But, as with all things in life, the end of one chapter marks the beginning of another. With the coming fall, we look forward to football, the changing of the leaves, and school.

It’s natural to be nostalgic at the beginning of the school year.  The next incremented grade is a hard number that reminds us that our little ones are taking slow but inexorable steps towards adulthood.  For some of us, there aren’t many more steps to take.  As those steps slowly add up, we parents hope that we’ve given our children the education they’ll need to make it in that adult world. […]

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5 Issues to Discuss with Tweens and Teens before They Go Back to School

by Jay Scott Fitter, MFT

Jay Fiffer coverBack-to-school time always comes with a mixture of emotions for kids. They’re excited to see friends again, but may have trepidation about fitting in with new social groups. As a result, they may experiment with new behaviors in order to be accepted or simply not “stick out.”

High school is a microcosm of our society. Within those walls are future gangbangers, drug dealers, murderers, teachers, doctors, lawyers, and engineers. The groups your children choose to associate with can have a significant impact on which path their future will take.
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7 Techniques for Conquering Back-to-School Fear

by Jude Bijou MA MFT

Fear is natural when we’re about to go back to school or off to college, because we’re dipping into the unknown. The newness makes us feel as if our very survival is threatened. Whether we’re nervous about the rigorous academics, living away from home for the first time, or the pressure of new social groups, it’s helpful to remember that fear is a completely natural reaction for students. Everyone else has the same feeling, regardless of what he or she seems to be presenting to the world.

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Half-Way Through Summer/Half-Way to School

by Marc Parsont

summer and beachIt’s the middle of summer, but the ads have started coming already.  Buy backpacks and shoes and pencils, lunch boxes, book covers, shirts, slacks, shorts.

We spend nine months getting through school and then another three months selling them gear, garbage, puff, fluff and Spam (and I really mean Spam…the other Lunch Meat) to go back there.

Even though Labor Day and the beginning of school is far off, you can begin to see that glimmer of hope and eagerness beginning to betray itself.  The gear just starts those juices flowing.

Those tendrils begin to show at odd times, early mornings, late afternoons, when they don’t think they’re being watched.  Little grins and slivers appear randomly.  The complaints begin to taper off.  The moans and whines stop being repetitive, and get replaced by moments of pure silence and peace. […]

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Happy Dance

by Maggie Lamond Simone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60Koe5FSE9M *

The big yellow bus will soon rumble once more down our street, signaling the end of summer and the beginning of another chapter in my life. My youngest is now in kindergarten. Big brother and little sister will stand together at the bus stop, he surreptitiously looking out for her, his fear for her safety and feelings only slightly stronger than his fear of being caught caring.

I think of all the emotions I should be feeling, emotions that any normal mother would be feeling at this momentous occasion in her children’s life: a deep sense of pride; hope for the future; nostalgia for baby days long gone; and maybe even a little fear about what lies in store for these innocent young people. I should be crying.

So why, then, will I be doing The Happy Dance in my driveway as the bus is pulling away? […]

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