aging Archives - Mothering in the Middle

Eating Crow (Or, How to Ingest the Reality of Getting Older)

by Valerie Gillies

“In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet” – Sir Winston Churchill

I have long fancied myself to be a natural woman. Having worn denim for a larger percentage of my days than all other fibers combined, never having changed the color of my hair, succeeding in four unmedicated childbirths (like it was some sort of contest), remembering with grimaced face the few times I have been peer-pressured into manicures. For over 50 years, I have run pretty much on my own steam, glorifying in how well this machine was holding up, how tough and independent I could be. Well, baby, it’s now time for me to take her in for the 50,000 mile checkup, and I’m not liking it. […]

Baba

Andrea Lynn

This weekend, my family is throwing a surprise birthday party for my grandmother. A surprise 90^th birthday party. Setting aside the question of whether one should surprise a 90 year old with anything, least of all a room full of people yelling “surprise”, the party has got me thinking. A lot. The first question is whether I should drive 250 miles, each way, with my small children in the backseat, and then drive back the next day, so that we can attend the party. It’s a long way to drive, at an inopportune time of the year, and we’ve all been sick for the last few weeks. We’ve been feeling better, but the very idea of a trip right now – and that long winding drive — exhausts me. But 90^th birthday parties don’t come around that often, and everyone else will be there – Baba’s children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, dozens in all. […]

Aging Gracefully In A Culture That Idolizes Youth

by Beverley Golden

My mother Lillian Golden is turning 96 this year. She is vivacious and vital; has an impeccable memory, is beautiful, gracious and an inspiration to everyone who meets her. An inspiration of what aging gracefully can look like, in a culture that is obsessed with and idolizes youth.

She still lives in her own condo and is an active and integral part of the social scene in her building. She is strong, tenacious and stubborn and has never been in the hospital overnight, other than to have her children. She was well into her thirties when she had my brother Niel and I, which in those days, was considered old. […]

Just A Number

by Peg O'Neill, M.D.

They say that age is just a number, but I’m not so sure. Try telling this to my 10 year old son, or his five year old (excuse me, five and a HALF) year old brother. Or to the almost sixteen year old in my office the other day who was counting the hours until her birthday, when she could get her learner’s permit. When you are young, getting older is a good thing. Your age determines whether you are “big enough” to get certain privileges, like biking to school on your own, or being able to drive, or staying up late to watch the Red Sox game. You have to be old enough. The older you are, the more you get to do. The older you are, the more you are in charge. Old is cool, when you’re young. […]

The Young One

by Andrea Lynn

When someone suggested I might write for the Mothering in the Middle project, it seemed a perfect fit. Older women, coming to motherhood after other things. Infertility as a side-dish for some of us, adding that extra dash of gratefulness to our motherhood journey. Issues of aging – our parents, ourselves. A perfect fit. […]

Passing

by Deatra Haime Anderson

Here is my confession: I almost never admit my real age. Even when I’m in the company of someone who knows what it is, I won’t say the number. Despite myriad liberal and feminist viewpoints, my age is the one space I cannot make peace with right now. Although I never outright lie about how old I am (except for when I have to enter my birthdate for website memberships), I do lie by omission all the time. […]