adoption laws Archives - Mothering in the Middle

The Myths and Realities of Open Adoption

by Deborah Siegel, Ph.D, LICSW

Image courtesy of www.Lavenderluz.com

Dear Reader: I first became interested in open adoption in 1985 when, in my clinical practice, I worked with two little guys adopted from foster care. These boys, ages 7 and 8, were tormented by unanswered questions about their first mother, “Susie,” who suffered from mental illness and drug addiction.

Susie’s parental rights had been involuntarily terminated due to her abusive neglect of her young sons. A loving couple had recently adopted the boys, yet the kids continued to struggle; hence, their referral for psychotherapy with me, an adoption specialist. The boys could not understand why they could have no contact whatsoever with Susie, as they worried endlessly about whether or not she was still alive, or if they would ever see her again. Listening to my young clients, I too wondered why it would be so awful for them to at the very least be able to contact Susie by mail.

Bewildered and curious myself, I looked at the adoption literature at the time. I read a lot of beliefs about how secrecy was necessary. But I found little if any research data to support these beliefs.

Thus began my two decade long study of families living with open adoptions. In 1988 I identified 22 families who had just adopted an infant in open adoptions, and I have re-inteviewed these families every seven years since then in order to find out what open adoption is like, from the perspective of those who are living in it. The infants in that study are now young adults, able […]

Special Delivery – from Haiti

by Michelle Eisler

Reflecting on my first Mother’s Day, now three years later, my thoughts and memories are as powerful as if it was yesterday. Each morning I wake up, no matter how tired I am, and realize that I don’t take for granted the treasure that arrived on the plane January 30, 2010 – my precious daughter. Here is my original post.

I just celebrated my first Mother’s Day this past weekend. At the age of 38 it feels late but as I understand, it isn’t as odd these days. One would think motherhood has been something I have been trying for forever but it isn’t. I’m just a late bloomer! I have, however, waited a couple of years for this but didn’t know just how much I’d truly waited, until this past January.

My husband and I were matched with Nathalia in October ’09 and would have traveled to Haiti in February 2010 to sign the first Haitian documents for our adoption process. We expected to be a family by the summer of 2010. […]

Untangling the Web: The Internet’s Transformative Impact on Adoption

Dear Reader: This is a fascinating “read,” especially for those people deeply entrenched or working within the adoption community. Here’s the synopsis and a link to the material –

“Untangling the Web: The Internet’s Transformative Impact on Adoption” is the initial publication of a multiyear research project on the subject by the Donaldson Adoption Institute. Its key findings include:

There is a growing “commodification” of adoption on the web, replete with dubious practices, and a shift away from the perspective that its primary purpose is to find families for children.
Finding birth relatives is becoming increasingly easy and commonplace, with significant institutional and personal implications, including the likely end of the era of “closed” adoption.
A growing number of young adoptees are forming relationships with birth relatives, sometimes without their adoptive parents’ knowledge and usually without guidance or preparation.
A rising number of websites offer useful, positive resources and expedite the adoption of children and youth who need families, notably including those with special needs.
http://adoptioninstitute.org/research/2012_12_UntanglingtheWeb.php