I can’t count how many times I have cried for the child I have waited two years to adopt. This is the child I am afraid to meet because once I see and hold him, I will not be able to forget his place in my arms, or be able to ever let him go.

Seeing updated photos of him creates intense joy and grief as his changed face reminds me of the passing of time. Some days, the only way to keep my head above my emotions longing for him is to put him to the back of my mind. But the endless list of unknowns- wondering who he’ll be when he is in our family and what he might be doing right now takes over, and I break. […]