“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.”
Stephen Hawking
Happy Autumn! Though it is still a bit too hot here in too sunny Los Angeles, I can still feel the change in the air, and in my heart.
Seasons are Mother Nature’s way of revealing how change is a natural part of life, and so very necessary, as well. Then, why is it that so many of us are afraid of change, especially since change usually equals growth?
For me, the only constant, amidst constant change, is my faith. With faith in my heart, all the changes around me don’t affect me on any level. That, I find, is the best way to deal with the fact that everything changes, and that I have no control over external change – only my inner self.
My kids teach me this, as well. How did I get three teenagers so fast?
Well, it didn’t happen overnight, but I am always in awe of how they are blossoming in their own way, as rose blossoms in the Spring, or as a leaf changes color in the Fall. It’s all relative, isn’t it?
This season of new beginnings has also brought me a new understanding of relationships. As one of the Founding Team Members of Match.Com (in a San Francisco basement in 1995), I learned too much about the insecurities and desperation involved with romantic relationships, and the false belief that another person can fulfill you, before you fulfill yourself. I saw the dysfunction, yet lived it with everybody else. Lived with it, until my catastrophic divorce, which left me as a single mom with five children (whom I call my “tribe”).
It wasn’t until recently that I realized, with real eyes, that with my faith and my love for both myself and my children, I do not *need* a man to make me feel OK about myself! Most people don’t understand this and think that I am missing something. Yet, I’ve never felt more joyful and fulfilled in my life.
On this same note, this season has been bittersweet for me. Two of my childhood friends disintegrated into pieces, swept away as if into the fall breeze. We have nothing in common anymore. While this makes sense, I was holding on to them as a way to keep the ties to my past. Now, I realize that my ties are also in my heart; it really does not make sense to hang on to friendships that no longer serve me.
The most positive change occurred while I was celebrating my eight-year anniversary of Freedom – on September 29th. On this day, in 2007, my children’s father threw me out on the street and took my children away from me, telling them that I had abandoned them. I was not only childless and homeless, but also penniless. So, now I celebrate this day as THE day when I found my true strength and my faith.
On my 7th year anniversary, I published an eBook memoir about this dastardly experience, which was cathartic and needed to be told so others could be inspired by the power of real faith. As I was celebrating this year with a delicious meal at our local Indian restaurant, it all hit me so hard! OW!
I published this memoir and now it is time to move on, once again. This is a good story to share, and it has truly made me who I am today. But now it is time to move on and share the present, which is truly a present in every way.
Presently, I am running a successful home business, which started with a loaned computer on a loaned table in a gang neighborhood, when we had just escaped homelessness. Presently, I am raising five children who are all doing exceptional in school, with teachers literally calling me to express how focused and committed they are to being successful. Presently, I signed them up with a talent Agency, and they have had commercial success, as well! My daughter, Torah, is in a National commercial with Kaiser Permanente. Check it out on YouTube, and let me know if you see it on TV!
And let’s be real: Of course there are many challenges. We all have many issues, and that’s life. But, at the end of the day, when I close my eyes and rest my head, I thank God for such a beautiful rich life.
So what is your inner change for this lovely season of Fall?
Time to let something fall, so something else can grow and blossom, perhaps?
Wendy Sue Noah’s book, Real Eyes, Faith, can be found here: http://www.amazon.com/Real-