I became a mom, through adoption, at the age of 45. I’ve been a mom now for a little over 4 years, which means I’m pushing 50.
Yikes and Yay!
I love being this age, even though I have a few more cricks and creaks in my body. For the most part, I have a pretty level head, am grounded and comfortable in my skin. Life is good with no major complaints. There’s a bit more stress in my everyday world because we recently rescued a lovely dog, Pepper, so we’re all adjusting to the furry addition in our lives. And, there’s an added layer of, well let me call it mishegas (Yiddish for crazy), in life due to entering the world of perimenopause.
Most women of a certain age (our age), begin to have symptoms of perimenopause. Some of the symptoms are, to name a few: lower sex drive, fatigue, mood swings, trouble sleeping and hot flashes. There are more symptoms, but you can Google it if you want to know more.
I didn’t know trouble sleeping was a symptom. I just thought my husband, Tom, breathed too loudly. Yes, his breathing kept me awake. Not his snoring, but his regular breathing. Couldn’t quite ask him to stop breathing now, could I? When we brought The Littlest E home from Ethiopia, I stopped using the earplugs I was using so I could hear our son sleep. I’ve recently started using them again, which helps tremendously.
Fatigue also does a number on me. When I’m tired, I’m not as on the ball as I usually am. Maybe it’s the added stress of the dog, the busyness of life, parenting an exceedingly energetic and awesome 5-year, along with a touch of perimenopause, but I’ve really started to forget things.
Here’s an example that I’ll call the Perimenopausal Double Whammy. Today, after dropping my son off at preschool, I was going to have brunch with two good girlfriends of mine, one of whom I haven’t seen in ages. Prior to that, I had a phone conference with my insurance man. I had also set up a coffee and doggie playdate with a girlfriend who owns a puppy, and scheduled a mammogram.
Then I realized, ‘Wow, I’ve double booked myself’!! How could I have done that? I wrote some of it in my datebook so it was right there. Let’s just say it was perimenopause: fatigue = forgetfulness. So, I called my girlfriends and cancelled brunch with apologies. I joked about it being a perimenopausal mishap, which they both understood because they KNOW.
Courtesy womens-health-advice.com
Then, this morning, I shot out of bed and realized today is the 12th and not the 19th. No double booking at all. Today, the call with the insurance guy and brunch would have been just fine. Next week is the doggie playdate and mammogram. Called one of the brunch girlfriends to tell her my Perimenopausal Double Whammy story and she laughed – with me and at me, because she gets it.
I can’t help but laugh at myself, too! We moms are human. We make mistakes, we do things right, we live our lives the best we can. I just need to now factor in the “P” word. Okay, so I’m a bit more tired, I’m a bit more forgetful; at least I don’t have the hot flashes – yet. My OB was kind enough to remind me that that is on the horizon.
What to do about all?
Well, it’s here and it’s a part of me. Acceptance is key. I’ll do my best to get as much sleep as possible and take care of myself. I’ll write everything down so as to not forget things, like forgetting to pick my son up after school one day because I thought the time was later. Practice patience with myself and those nearest me. It may be difficult, but patience goes a long way. It is most important not beat myself up. My son is a forgiving soul and so is my hubby. If I take care of myself, I can be there for them.
Maybe today wasn’t a total mistake.
Seems to me the Universe was telling me to clear my schedule so I could take it easy. That’s self care and important for any mom (or dad), whether it’s a perimenopausal thing or not.
Life is such a kick, always giving us things to keep it real and interesting.
It’s never dull, is it?
© 2014 Melanie Elliott