Kriste (l) with friend (r)
Judgment comes easy. It is so easy to raise an eyebrow in another mom’s direction and question her choices, even before you become a mom yourself. I know I don’t speak for just myself–that’s just how easy it is. Whether you’re a first-time mom in your twenties or you came to be a mom during those “geriatric pregnancy” years, it is human nature to cast judgment toward moms who don’t do it the way you would.
As a mom who came late to the party after waiting several years for the “right time” to have kids, I have been on the receiving end of my fair share of judgment. Did I wait too long to become a mom? Am I too old for this gig? Was it the infertility my fault because I waited to grow up before I tried to have a baby? How could anyone put their career before starting a family? Do you look at me and wonder if it took me so long to have a baby; are children that important to me?
Until you know my story, walk a mile in my shoes, then how can you tell me what is right or wrong? News flash: There is no right or wrong in parenting! We’re all just flying by the seat of our pants and doing what’s right for our families in the here and now. And let’s face it; these are kids we’re talking about. What’s right now may not be right later. That is one of the beautiful things about choices. You can always make different ones.
Moms are passionate creatures. We’re passionate about being mothers. We’re passionate about the journeys that we took to become mothers. We’re passionate about what’s best for our kids. Of course we get caught up in feeling like we’re doing it the best way there is! No doubt about it. When we do that, we’re missing an opportunity to be a contributing part of this amazing sisterhood. If we’re not going to be for each other, then who will be for us? I think we can all agree on this: Motherhood is one of the hardest jobs you’ll have that you’ll ever be so unprepared for.
Since I became a blogger at ctworkingmoms.com, my eyes have been opened to a million different ways to be a mom. Some I’ve agreed with, some haven’t exactly rung my bell. But agree or disagree, it doesn’t matter. Because we’re all in it to raise happy and healthy kids. To help support moms all over and do our part to end the dreaded mommy wars, we launched a Campaign for Judgment-free Motherhood. In June, we published a photo-shoot of all us moms holding up some signs to promote our differences and to pledge to live judgment-free. It was an amazing, freeing experience.
The post went viral-twice!-and led to a partnership with The Bump called Moms for Moms Day, which rolls out on March 4th. Here’s your chance to mom-up and show your support for judgment-free motherhood by hitting us up on social media. Mark your calendars and share the news with your fellow momma friends! Then, snap a selfie while holding a sign with a positive message for other moms out there, upload it to your Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest/Instagram accounts with the hashtag #moms4moms, and help promote compassion and love!
We want to see all your messages so remember to tag @ctworkingmoms and @thebump! It’s time for mothers everywhere to love more and judge less. What a wonderful world this would be.
Kriste Stevenson, 42, lives in Connecticut with her husband, Christian, and 5-year-old daughter, Zoey. She is a regular contributor to ctworkingmoms.com where she can be found most Tuesdays blogging about life with as a working mom and the struggle to “have it all.” Kriste became a mom after only 27 weeks of pregnancy when Zoey arrived with bang! After surviving 106 days (but who was counting?) in the neonatal care unit, Kriste has a very relaxed view of motherhood. Seriously, what else could happen, right?