Father’s Day is coming around again – the time of year that reminds me what a great dad my husband is (even though he drives me crazy sometimes with his overwhelming patience for our son, I just want to get stuff done and he takes his darn, sweet time)….anyway I’m off subject.
Father’s Day is also that time of year where I (you?) take a trip to the local drug store and stare blankly at cards that don’t relate to my relationship with my own dad.
“Thanks, Dad for always being there,” or, “He didn’t teach me how to live, he lived and let me watch him do it,” Or, “Dad, you held my hand and showed me the world.” I almost always end up wiping tears away.
It stinks, because I’m supposed to be over the fact that my dad wasn’t around much when I was growing up, and wasn’t there for me….
Our dad moved out when I was nine, separating from us (me, mom and my older brother and sister) for four years prior to divorcing my mother when I was thirteen. My memories of my dad are few and far-between, probably because he was in the Navy and away a lot. I can’t even remember him coming home from work at night. After age nine, it was even rarer – I’d only see him on occasional weekends.
I remember visiting him overnight at his “new place,” once. Dad took me to some special event, like the circus, where we accidentally ran into a “friend” of his – a woman who sat with us for the entire show. I was furious!
There are other memories, for sure – some good and some not so good, I remember this overwhelming feeling of absence at home, of something being incomplete. Looking back, as an adult, I can now understand why my parents divorced; they were two extremely different people who just couldn’t find common ground.
But, all this led to ongoing hurt, disappointment and anger. I obviously didn’t have a great relationship with my dad. I blamed him for breaking up our family and for hurting our mother. I remember lying in bed night after night, asking God to let my parents get back together. (Here I go with the tears…. breathe….I’m 50 for God’s sake! Or, maybe I’m still that little girl who just wanted her daddy when she needed him to hug her, understand her, teach her and just be there for her.)
Dad and I now have a really good relationship. It took time, tears, forgiveness, strength, compassion and years of hard work. We have a good relationship because we both wanted to. We worked for it and on it. He’s a good guy. He may not have been there when I most needed him, but he’s done some big “making-up” these past twenty years. Just recently, for my fiftieth birthday, he surprised me by flying in from Connecticut to Miami dressed as Santa! I was crying with joy this time. What a great gift!
And now, I’ll add these special words this Father’s Day, “Thank you, Daddy. I love you!”
Theresa Turchin, 50, was raised in a small town in Connecticut with her older brother and sister. Her parents divorced when she was nine. With gumption and a “do or die” attitude, she moved to NYC to model, with just $500 in her pocket. She wasn’t accepted by the first few agencies and finally found her home with Elite models in 1982. She traveled the world modeling in Paris, Milan, Tokyo, London, and beyond, and finally settled in Miami Beach where she met her husband. For more than 21 years, they’ve had many adventures, like, traveling with their band and designing a clothing-line. But, by far, her biggest blessing is their now six-year-old son, born when she was two weeks shy of her 44th birthday. She and her husband are the owners of Turchin Love and Light Jewelry, women’s and men’s sterling silver and gold jewelry, created by the philosophy of Love & Compassion – their positive message…Love Is The Answer.