In many families, smartphones, tablets, television and other “screens” are a normal part of day-to-day life. But, when adults and children are clearly enamored with their devices—constantly checking their email, texting, playing games and searching the Internet, little time remains for parent-child interaction.
It is impossible to do away with technology completely, however, small cut backs can significantly benefit parents and children alike.
Here are 7 ways and reasons why to reduce digital consumption in your home:
Monitor Your “Screen” Time
Parents’ media behavior is a crucial factor in determining how the rest of the family embraces screen media. Children mirror parents’ “screen addictions.” Mothers and fathers who spend excessive time on screens are also more likely to use technology as a parenting tool and as a substitute for family activity.
Act Like a Parent
Face-to-face interaction is crucial for the development of a young child’s language and social skills and emotional intelligence. Older kids spend a troubling amount of time with screens. Children ages 8 to 18 spend more than 7.5 hours a day (7 days a week!) using a smart phone, computer, television or other electronic device. You need to make and enforce “screen” time rules for children. One study found that parental monitoring of their children’s media use improved children’s sleep and even curbed aggressive behavior. It also was linked to boosted academic performance.
Make Dining Digital-Free
Whether your family eats at home or in a restaurant, make it a rule to never have a meal with smart phones or other devices at the table. When a parent or caregiver is visibly more engrossed in a digital device than engaged with a child, the child will take notice, acting out to compete for attention. If you have older children, make gathering everyone’s device a nightly pre-dinner ritual and ask your children to help choose “hiding places” for their—and your—digital equipment.
Unplug in the Evenings
Make it a habit to step away from your device at predetermined hours to spend time with your children. Wait to check your email or text messages until after your children goes to bed; messages will still be there after you’ve read a story and tucked everyone in.
Detox for a Weekend
Be brave—put your digital devices away for an entire day on the weekends. If need be, inform coworkers when you will be “unplugged.” You will be amazed at what you can accomplish and how much fun the entire family will have.
Focus on Your Child’s Performances
Leave your cell phone in the car at a child’s sporting events and performances. If you can’t bear to be without a camera to document your child’s activities, switch your smartphone to “Airplane mode” to resist the urge to text or quickly check email. Children know if you’re paying attention to their efforts or if you’re glued to your Twitter feed.
Shore Up Emotional Attachments
Consider chauffeuring time as an opportunity for engagement; talk with your children instead of having children watch videos or play games on their electronic devices. Without digital use rules in place, parents put emotional ties to their children at risk as their offspring move into their teen years. Teenagers who spend too much time on screens are more likely to have weaker emotional attachments to parents.
Susan Newman is a social psychologist and parenting expert focusing on issues related to raising children and family relationships. She is a contributor to Psychology Today magazine where she has been writing about parenting for last 6+ years and is the author of 15 books on parenting and family concerns, most recently, Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day.
Dr. Newman taught at Rutgers University, is a member of the American Psychological Association, the Authors Guild, and the American Society of Journalists and Authors. She is a Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for abused and neglected children and lives in the New York Metro area. She is the mother of one son and four stepchildren. For more see: http://susannewmanphd.com