Hi, Faydra – welcome to Mothering. As America’s Divorce Coach, I’m happy to be presenting you to our group and exploring your latest venture, Two Homes for Daniel – the story of a child of divorce. Please tell me what inspired you to create this book?
A: I have been writing for adults for some time now, helping them cope with the stress and guilt associated with divorce and my coaching clients have been asking for ways to help their children. I created the book to offer a conduit for mom’s, dad’s and extended family to talk with kids about the issues that come up during and after divorce. I thought about my own children and how we managed the issues when we faced them.
What I love about the books is children love to identify with a character. If a child is just like Daniel and shares two homes, they feel connected to the book. Reading the book allows family to talk with their own child about the same issues and make a plan to ease anxieties or to do what Daniel’s family does to make things better. In a sense, the book provides a role model for families to follow if they don’t have an idea about how to manage things.
Q: Although you’ve written more serious books, this is your first children’s book. Will you be creating more?
A: Daniel the Dinosaur and Friends is a series. Two Homes for Daniel is the first release and Two Sisters for Daniel is about to be released and is available for pre-order.
Two Homes for Daniel, is all about the sadness kiddo’s face when they are with one parent and miss the other. Daniel’s mom and dad make Daniel a priority and teach him that living in two separate homes doesn’t mean they are apart from one another.
Two Sisters for Daniel is all about blending families. Daniel’s dad breaks the ice and introduces Daniel to Kelsey and Meg and though things are new and scary, Daniel is happily surprised that step-sisters are fun and being a part of a new family adds to his happiness.
In addition to these titles, there are a whole host of topics written and waiting their turn to help children and families. New fun characters are introduced in each book.
Q: Is Daniel modeled after anyone?
A: Daniel is modeled after my son. He came to me through becoming his step mother and I had the privilege to become his forever mommy too. All the characters are based on real people. The characters, Kelsey and Meg are my bio daughters. Other characters will be based on people we know in real life.
Having the characters be modeled after my family has been a wonderful way to connect and bond. The kids have had input into the whole process and our illustrator Joe Eckstein , made the characters look like their human counter parts. It has been one of the best parts of creating the series for me.
Q: Who do you hope will read this book? How do you hope this book will impact the children of or families coping with divorce?
A: Two Homes for Daniel is for parents and children who are living with the effects of divorce. The books are excellent for extended families too. Therapists are giving the book high reviews and have asked to have copies in their practice. Court mediators who help make custody decisions have given the book high marks and offer the book to families passing through their doors.
I want Daniel and his stories to help give a voice to children who don’t know how to articulate their feelings. Hearing Two Homes for Daniel read aloud, helps kids relate his story to theirs. Families doing the reading part, can see how to problem solve and talk to their kids. Once the story is over, families can engage with their children about their personal situation and help one another cope.
Q: What message do you have for children of divorce?
A: Much of what is happening during a divorce is scary. Not knowing what is going to happen can make you feel sad. Daniel and his family understand and together, with one loving step at a time, you and your family can find ways to make things not so scary.
Q: What message can you offer their parents?
A: Children oftentimes don’t know how to come to you with their feelings. If they are too young, they may not know how to express themselves or what words to use to explain their feelings. Reading Two homes for Daniel can help you open up a conversation about your situation and get your children talking. Sometimes children suffer in silence because they don’t know they have the power to ask for what they want. You can use the Daniel the Dinosaur series to teach your children it is ok to ask for support.
Q: Finally, what one message do you offer us as America’s Divorce Coach?
A: My mantra is “Divorce sucks, and I make it such less!” If given one message it would be that divorce isn’t fair and the sooner you realize it and decide to make getting to the other side a priority, the sooner you will find the peace that you deserve.
Faydra Koenig, MA, is a mental health professional, author, speaker, podcaster and certified life coach. She works with men and women to help them avoid the pitfalls of divorce and get the lives they deserve. You can find Faydra’s podcast, Coming Out Of The Fire, on iTunes. Find her on the web at www.americasdivorcecoach.us and look for her books on Amazon. She is a weekly newspaper columnist for her hometown news paper, the Red Bluff Daily News where she inspires her audience to make lasting changes in their lives.