Single Motherhood Archives - Page 2 of 4

Doing a Little Less, Imperfectly, At Midlife

by Andrea Lynn

My friend’s mother just had a heart attack. A small one, and she’s recovering well. But besides the shock and concern my friend has for her mother, she’s lost her mother’s help with her two children, and her life has quickly become that much harder.

Like me, my friend is a Single Mother by Choice, having arrived late to motherhood without a partner. She had two children using an anonymous donor, and her parents have been supportive in both emotional and practical ways. Until the heart attack, her mother drove her children to many after school and weekend activities, enjoying the time with her grandchildren and helping close that gap all working parents feel between the end of the school day and the end of the work day two hours later. […]

The Advantages in Being An Only Child of an Older Mother (Part I)

by Serena Kirby

Whether as a result of increased fatigue or decreased fertility, the reality is that many later in life mums have only one child.

“Spoilt Brat”, “Little Emperor” or simply “The Boss”, these are just some of the phrases often attached to the only child. Add to that the belief that loneliness goes hand-in-hand with the single-child and it’s no wonder some older mothers feel guilt and regret for the sibling-less life of their one and only. […]

Waiting for the Weekend

by Andrea Lynn

When I picked my 3-year-old from preschool Friday, she greeted me with a happy shout of “It’s the weekend!” And proceeded to pull me over to the school calendar on the wall, point to the Saturday, and repeat: “It’s the weekend.” She was delighted.

I’m a little discouraged that my 3 year old already looks forward to the weekend. God knows I do too – but she’s only started school three weeks ago. Is that how long it takes to resent the day-to-day grind of a Monday-to-Friday schedule? Three weeks? And to think she has just 15 or 20 years of school to go, before she can hopefully find a full-time job. Another 60 some years of looking forward to Friday night. […]

Daycare Director

by Andrea Lynn

I had the most disarmingly honest conversation with the director of Anna’s new preschool yesterday. Like all good preschools around here, there had been a long waiting list. I didn’t have a hope of getting in. But I lamented to a mom friend about my hopeless hunt for good childcare, and, God bless her, she leaned in and said “You know, I might be able to help.” There might be a spot, she said, at her daughter’s preschool, as she graduated to public school. Did I want her to put a word in? Oh yes, please. […]

The Childcare Dilemma

Andrea Lynn

The one clear benefit of being late to motherhood is that many of my friends have older children, and I have a glimpse of the future.

This week is March Break here – the kids out of school and the parents on vacation or scrambling for childcare. The morning subway was emptier than usual all week so it was a bit of a surprise to run into a friend on the dawn run downtown. She was heading to the gym before work, I was on the early shift. And her two girls? Edging into their teens, they had March-break jobs – providing before-and-after care at a dance camp for kids. Instead of having to find someone – a camp, a babysitter, a grandparent, a neighbour – to watch her girls during the week’s break from school, my friend for the first time could just relax and go to work, unhassled by the relentless school calendar, with its PA Days and Snow Days, holiday and vacation weeks, early dismissals and shortened weeks. […]

Rose-Colored Parenting

by Andrea Lynn

My 4-year-old and I took a trip down memory lane last month. My memory lane, that is, since we were visiting the city of her birth, which we left when she was 15 months old, and of course she has no recollection. […]

A New Crop of Would-Be Single Mothers

by Andrea Lynn

Every month in my Single Mothers by Choice group, members who are trying to conceive using various fertility treatments link up on our internet forum to cheer each other on during the dreaded “two week wait” between their insemination or IVF and their pregnancy test. I am a lurker on this thread now, my days of knocking myself up all in the past. But I’ve been watching the average age of these hopeful women drift younger and younger, with mixed feelings. […]

The Oldest Kindergartener

by Andrea Lynn

Last week, I walked my daughter to her first day of kindergarten. We did all the typical first-day things, the new backpack, the special outfit, lots and lots of photos on our front steps, the Facebook share of that first-day-of-kindergarten moment in time. It joined my newsfeed of other first-day at school photos from friends – including the “first day at university” photo of a friend and his daughter, smiling from a lecture hall on a leafy campus. My friend is exactly my age – 40. And while I acknowledge I got started a little late on this whole parenting thing, it still boggles my mind that someone I went to high school with 22 years ago is driving his kid to a far-flung college campus while I walk my 4 year old down the street to kindergarten. Another friend touring university campuses with her daughter exclaimed: “How did this happen so fast?!” My reply as I prepared for kindergarten: “How did this happen so slow?” […]

Eight Tips for Single Parents Going Back to School

Making it through college can be a challenge for any of us—add to that the responsibility of being a single parent and college can be especially demanding. Dr. Bill Burns, director of the North Dakota State University Counseling Center, and Maggie Pearl, admissions manager at Rasmussen College—Fargo campus, share some of their tips for helping single parents be successful students and parents. […]

Not a Daddy, But a Husband!

by Andrea Lynn

Leaving the soccer field last night, Claire said “I want to have a daddy.” Yeek! It was boiling hot, we were all exhausted, Anna was whining and crying her way to the car. I was carrying the folding chairs, the bag, the water. I had no energy for this kind of discussion. Not to mention the setting of the parking lot was not as I’d hoped. […]