Being Elegant
by Casey Kochmer
I am going to practice being elegant… I will start with my daughter Mina by focusing more on time to play and not being such a parent all the time. […]
Middle School Daughter Gives Midlife Mom a Beauty Makeover from the Inside Out
by Pamela Cytrynbaum
In a valiant effort to spruce me up, my daughter said it’s time for a field trip to the Holy Grail – where the worlds of middle school girls and their middle-aged mothers collide: The Mall
In a show of shockingly bad judgment, I unwittingly enlisted a few middle school girls to help me reinvent myself before the weekend when in theory I have accepted the first date I’ve been on in nearly two decades. I stand by my original contention that I am awesome as is. And yet, it is precisely because I am so awesome, so brave and open, that I have agreed to invite and withstand some rather withering tween criticism of my general comportment. […]
How To Turn a Crisis Into a Challenge
by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.
When a crisis hits – the end of a marriage, the loss of a job, or the death of a loved one – it throws you into a complete tailspin. Suddenly your world is no longer safe and secure. What can you do to pick up the pieces and take the first steps toward living a full life again? […]
How It Ends Matters…
by Valerie Gillies
“There are no classes in life for beginners; right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult.” Rainer Marie Rilke
There’s an old video game called Prince of Persia. You progress from room to room, and need to choose, hidden among the clutter — shall I take the flashlight or the dagger? or maybe the rope? There is no way of knowing what will come next, what you will need. You just have to do your best, with no time to think, and keep on moving. […]
Living Longer, ‘Midlife Crisis’ Can Become ‘Midlife Opportunity’
by Maggie Lamond Simone
“What do you want to do with your life?” It’s a question I ask my college students this time of year to help them define their goals, and I’m beginning to realize the silliness of the question. It’s almost like asking people casually at the grocery store what they did over summer break — expecting them to sum up 10 weeks of their lives in a sentence. Not an easy task. […]
“Mothering in the Middle”
Jane Samuel
The title of this blog – Mothering in the Middle – comes at me in more ways than one.
It sums up my life because I am a mid-life mother. I am the mother who wears night sweats and ponders progesterone while also wearing the face paint my nine-year-old old recently painted over my fine lines. […]
Truth About Consequences: Letting Children Learn from Reality
by Linda Anderson Krech
“If we allow a child to experience the consequence of his acts, we provide an honest and real learning situation.” Rudolf Dreikurs, M.D.
There we were — my four year old daughter and I, along with her twin friends and their mom, waiting with antsy anticipation for the small-town extravaganza parade to begin in Vermont’s sweet little town of Bristol. We had arrived at the town green an hour early due to a misprint in the local newspaper calendar and had spent about 45 minutes swinging, sliding, and spinning around the gazebo and playground. Energy was high, spirits were even higher, and all was well until . . . my daughter began the look-at-what-a-brat-I-can-be performance. […]
Six Ways to Beat the Blues
by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.
Your thoughts are mental products although they don’t necessarily reflect an absolute reality. However, for you, they do represent how you feel. Some people can’t help but wear their hearts on their sleeves. Others are more able to manage their emotions and function as if everything is fine. […]
Stretching the Start of Motherhood
by Susan Newman
“This is a good article about why, in terms of fertility, it is not a wise idea to wait,” wrote a commenter in response to The Ideal Age to Have a Baby. However, a new study shows that the likelihood of having a baby after 40 is quite good.
Yes, you can reverse your biological clock. For so many reasons, we all can’t—and don’t—have our babies in our 20s and early 30s. In response to my post, 40 is the New 20 for Having Babies, here is one of several similar comments that explain why many of us come to motherhood later: “I think everyone’s situation is unique. I think if I had a time machine and could have met my husband when I was in my mid to late 20’s, we would have had 2-3 children by the time I was 35. But life doesn’t work that way. I am so blessed to have our son and, yes, even at 41, we are considering another child probably also requiring IVF.” […]
Eating Crow (Or, How to Ingest the Reality of Getting Older)
by Valerie Gillies
“In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet” – Sir Winston Churchill
I have long fancied myself to be a natural woman. Having worn denim for a larger percentage of my days than all other fibers combined, never having changed the color of my hair, succeeding in four unmedicated childbirths (like it was some sort of contest), remembering with grimaced face the few times I have been peer-pressured into manicures. For over 50 years, I have run pretty much on my own steam, glorifying in how well this machine was holding up, how tough and independent I could be. Well, baby, it’s now time for me to take her in for the 50,000 mile checkup, and I’m not liking it. […]