Mothers Over 50 Archives - Page 8 of 26

Fighting Under-Eye Aging

by Deatra Haime Anderson

One of the first places to show aging is under our eyes. Wrinkles, lines, discoloration and puffiness are giveaways. And while nothing (including surgery!) will give us 20-something skin again, there are ways to minimize the impact and renew the vibrancy under our eyes.

Fortunately, you don’t have to go far to start treating under eye issues. There are solutions right in your cupboard:

TEA – Caffeinated teas can constrict blood vessels and reduce swelling, while chamomile tea can soothe redness and inflammation. Soak two tea bags of your choice of tea in hot water for a few minutes. Let cool until the bags are slightly warm. Lie down, close your eyes, place a tea bag over each eye and relax for 10 minutes or so. You can also refrigerate the bags after you’ve steeped them, which is especially refreshing when you need a pick-me-up. […]

10 Things Not to Say to a New Older (Midlife) Mother

by Cyma Shapiro

Women choosing motherhood over 40, 45 and 50 still remain in the minority, especially in certain geographic locations. Although new older parenting is increasing incrementally, women choosing motherhood at later (and later) ages are often the butt of jokes and the recipient of rude, politically incorrect, and sometime insulting comments.

My primer, below, should make it easier for those who are inclined to comment (on any aspect of this fact). Consider the power of words, even if well-intentioned:

1) “Are you the Grandmother?”

Unless you need to ask this to determine whether an AARP card is applicable, or to somehow confirm lineage, don’t even ask. Not only is this a painful question for any woman/mother over 40, but if applied incorrectly, it’s an insult to the children who are usually listening. Think about the overall cost/benefit of asking this question, especially if little ones are in tow.

2) “How old were you when you had/adopted your child?”

Is this your business?

3) “Do you know how selfish you are?”

This references the fact that I may die long before I get to experience my children’s milestones, and my children will be left motherless. However, people die at every age. Long life is not a surety for anyone.

4) “Why would you have/adopt a child at your age?”

Why not?

5) “Wow…..that’s so….great!” (Or) “Good for you!”

What’s so great about it, and why is this good for me?

6) “Really??”

Yes, really.

7) “Is this your first marriage?”

What does that matter?

8) “When do you plan to retire?”

The answer to this is a definitive “never.”

9) “You have a what?” (In answer to the question about the ages of your children).

How can I help you?

10) “It seems like a lot of […]

Third Daughter

by Hanni Beyer Lee

She is my fourth child and my third daughter. She holds a special place in the order of the family. She is my last child. The others are grown or grown enough to be out of the house. She is the child I long to be closer to. She is the child who pushes me away and the child who needs me the most.

In 1981, I gave birth to my son. I was 23 years old and single. In 1995, I married and at 48, in the prime of mid-life motherhood, I traveled to China to bring home my third daughter. Mei Mei means little sister in Mandarin. I traveled with my two older daughters, also adopted from China. We were a fearless bunch maneuvering our way through Hefei, the city where my third daughter is from; all speaking Chinese together and attracting a crowd wherever we went. […]

The Wait

by Michelle Eisler

Dust is collecting on your bedroom furniture-you notice when you drag yourself out of bed an hour after your alarm has gone off. You start circling the kitchen, trying to decide if you’re hungry or if you should wash the stack of dishes you’re pretending aren’t there. Mid-afternoon thinking is should you make another cup of coffee to perk up as you check your email for the tenth time.

By 9pm you want to go to bed as you’re exhausted but it seems too early, at 10:30 you have a second wind and decide to watch one more TV show. Come 1am you finally go to bed and promise that at the sound of your alarm you will get up, exercise, and shower before you start your day. And then the cycle starts again. If this sounds familiar, you might be a waiting parent.

[…]

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

by Maggie Lamond Simone

This winter, I’ve decided, has been a lot like childbirth.

I don’t mean in the classic sense, obviously, because it hasn’t physically caused me to scream obscenities at complete strangers for hours on end (well, not often, anyway) and it hasn’t lasted nine months (yet), but rather in a more metaphysical sense – in the way that people seem to deal with them both.

We seem to take an awful lot of pride in our pain.

It’s almost like a competition. We compare birthing stories the same way we compare winter stories – how much weight we gained, how much snow we got, how long we were in labor, how cold it was, how long we pushed, how high the winds were, how much pain we were in, and, er, how much pain we were in. […]

The Next Stage

by Andrea Lynn

I just registered my youngest for kindergarten, and I’m almost positive that means life is getting easier. If nothing else, I’m counting on lower daycare costs, but people insist I’ll soon be spending that money on ukelele lessons, lunchboxes and gym clothes. We’ll have to see.

Having both my girls in full-time, full-day elementary school come September means I’m no longer in charge of the educational aspect of their lives. I’ve turned that all over to the school. Now, when they ask questions, I can refer them back to their teachers. I can also stop feeling guilty about not doing educational things with them, like “Sight Words Bingo” and “Zingo Math,” which we really only got around to once and afterwards just felt guilty about the neglected box sitting on our games shelf.

Now the guilt can rest; someone else can teach my girls math. My job can be reduced to food preparation, laundry, and refereeing fights over whose turn it is to choose the DVD. I have to say, I’m ready for a reduced role around here. Elementary school, I give you my children. […]

Two Degrees of Separation: How My Surrogate’s Mother Became My Newborns’ Grandmother

by DeAnna Scott

Photo courtesy of DeAnna Scott

I know a woman. She is older than me, but not by too much. She is smart (a teacher). She is entertaining, loving, and kind with a gorgeous head of purple hair. She is my children’s grandmother – the only grandmother they have related to them by blood. But she is not my mother nor is she my husband’s mother.

She is our surrogate’s mother and I don’t know if she realizes how awesome we think she is and how grateful we are that she is our children’s grandmother. […]

Q&A With the Jennifer Waldburger, Author of Calm Baby, Happy Mama

Q: How is this book different than all the rest?
A: Lack of calm is imparting everything in your life. You and your child are connected by energy and the more you can channel positive energy, the better your child will be.

Q: How does a mom’s energy – stress or calm – affect the baby? How does mom’s calm benefit the baby?
A: Babies are extremely perceptive little beings and are constantly responding to the energy in their environment. Over the nearly two decades we have been working with families, we’ve spoken with hundreds of hospital staff and nurses, OB-GYNs, pediatricians – and they’ll all tell you that babies with calmer parents tend to be calmer babies, and more stressed parents tend to have fussier babies who often don’t feed or sleep as well and who grow into children who have a much harder time managing the ups and downs of life. […]

Love Is Never Easy

by Maggie Lamond Simone

Courtesy of flashfree.com

Love is never easy. Anybody can tell you that, from the person wondering if he’ll ever find his soul mate, to the long-married couples still facing the daily challenges endemic to living with someone who may or may not share their love of clutter.

Technology has made it much easier in many cases, increasing the opportunities for communication; gone are the days of kissing your spouse goodbye before heading off on a business trip and not speaking for possibly days at a time.

No, today’s world has made it extraordinarily easy to say what we want to say, to whom we want to say it, right now. […]