Mothers Over 50 Archives - Page 13 of 26

Parents As Positive Role Models

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D., and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D

Photo courtesy of beingnewton.com

Your children – whatever their ages – may or may not do as you say, but chances are they’ll do as you do. There’s no getting around it. You serve as a role model through your attitudes and behavior inside and outside the family. Just remember, someone impressionable is watching, listening and learning from your example.

Should you be flawless? Of course not. But show them your best self. You can use these practical tips as you teach your kids how to:

Solve problems. Children need to know how and why you make the choices that you do. They learn what you value every time you make the extra effort. Your decisions don’t only impact you, so talk to them when you consider your parents’ needs before your own, put money in their college fund, help out in the homeless shelter. […]

Happy Dance

by Maggie Lamond Simone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60Koe5FSE9M *

The big yellow bus will soon rumble once more down our street, signaling the end of summer and the beginning of another chapter in my life. My youngest is now in kindergarten. Big brother and little sister will stand together at the bus stop, he surreptitiously looking out for her, his fear for her safety and feelings only slightly stronger than his fear of being caught caring.

I think of all the emotions I should be feeling, emotions that any normal mother would be feeling at this momentous occasion in her children’s life: a deep sense of pride; hope for the future; nostalgia for baby days long gone; and maybe even a little fear about what lies in store for these innocent young people. I should be crying.

So why, then, will I be doing The Happy Dance in my driveway as the bus is pulling away? […]

The Yin and Yang of Motherhood

by Serena Kirby

I was 43 when I finally became a mother and I’d definitely been looking through rose coloured glasses in regards to how I thought motherhood would be. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom and I would lay down my life for my child. But there were times in the early days of mothering when I asked myself, “What the heck have I done?”

I know now that I’m not alone in this, as many older mothers I spoke to while researching my book expressed surprise at the contradictory emotions that come with being a mom. […]

The Long Wave Goodbye

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: This is a rewrite of a previous post. Forgive my liberties in reprinting those few posts which resonate with me and provide a framework for all that follows. This pays homage to the start of school, the passing of time, and the recognition that having children changes it all.

Today, I waved to my daughter riding away on the bus. The silly kind of wave – two arms flailing, as if flagging down a passing ship. I was also jumping up and down. We both continued waving until the bus was out of sight.

Walking back to my house, I had a lump in my throat. I am sad. Sad for the absence of these experiences with my own mother; sad for the time which is passing so quickly; sad, too, that I see that my parenting must be working well – my own daughter still longs for me and keeps me in her sight. I did not have that with my own mother.

I will continue to try my hardest to fulfill that need, until her hands stop reaching for mine, the arm waves stop and I see her waving to her friends, not me. That time is coming. In fact, it’s just around the corner. […]

Open Adoption: When What I Knew Was Wrong

by Lori Lavender Luz

Image courtesy of http://lavender.luz.com

When Roger and I embarked on the journey of adopting a baby several years ago, everything we “knew” about adoption was from decades past:

You waited on a long list until the agency matched you with a situation. Top of the list of criteria for the match? Your place in line.
You tried to make the building of your family as close to “normal” (read: biological) as possible. You didn’t talk much about the adoption, either inside or outside of the family, and you certainly didn’t have any contact with birth parents. The goal was to make it seamless, almost as if adoption were never part of the story. […]

One of Those Women? (In Honor of World Breastfeeding Week – 8/1 – 8/7)

by Ellie Stoneley

I’m old … a year away from 50 in fact. I’m a first time mother. I have an 18-month-old daughter. I drive along singing, “The Wheels on the Bus” even when she’s not in the car with me. I secretly love it when she wakes up needing me in the night, however tired I am. I am still breastfeeding her.

Right then, it would appear that, certainly according to much of the tabloid press, I’m practically the devil incarnate. A crazy breastfeeding, sagging old loon that a poor child has to put up with as a mother, a veritable harridan. Personally I don’t think I’m that bad. […]

Unearthing Diamonds at Midlife

by Lisa Garon Froman

Dear Reader: Please read author commentary and excerpts (in bold) from her new book, Tao Flashes.

For some reason, I’ve always been drawn to rocks. Maybe it’s my inner nerd, but I love the colors, the jagged edges, the imperfect lines, the untold stories and the history behind them. Even now as an adult, I collect rocks when I’m on vacation; I pluck them up from my path and save them as colorful mementos from my adventures. When I view them later, it’s like looking at a vacation photo. I am whisked back in time to the place, to the moment where I uncovered my piece of earth. And it brings me peace.

At midlife, I’m a lot more concerned about being peaceful than I was when I was younger. Caught up in the frantic day-to-day, gotta get it done–and get it done well–mode, I accepted a certain amount of chaos as the norm. As long as my son was happy, or safe, my happiness or peacefulness didn’t matter so much. […]

Summer Beauty of Mid-Life

by Lori Pelikan Strobel

The deck is a nice place to sit and drink in the view, as well as to drink a nice glass of wine. It gives me a bird’s eye view of everyone who is either in the cottage, on the lawn, in the water or on the dock. The air smells like summer; of suntan lotion and warm breezes. Ripples of diamonds sparkle on top of the water as the sun smiles down and I feel its heat.

From this spot I can only see a snippet of the lake, which entrances me. My family’s second home is here in the beautiful Berkshires. The brown Adirondack chairs sit on the lush lawn like sentinels guarding the treasure beyond. The trees sway lightly and I hear the birds chirp, lawnmowers whir, boats whizz, and my daughters inside still deciding which bathing suit to wear. […]

Needing Our Mothers At Mid-Life

by Susan Paget

For those of you who are midlife moms to little kids, you might want to skip this blog because I’ve got another dose of reality to toss your way and I know you’ve already got enough on your plate.

If you’re still here, brace yourself.

There’s no expiration date to this “mom” thing. […]

Cyma Shapiro Interviews Liz Raptis Picco, Author of Stretch Marks

Dear Reader: I’m so pleased to present one of our own writers on the launch of her new book, Stretch Marks. Welcome Liz. I’m so happy to interview you and offer your story our readers. You are such a special person!

Q: Your book chronicles your nearly 20-year journey to motherhood – one littered with disappointing and painful experiences, repeated slammed-doors, and a litany of failed attempts at conceiving and adopting. Although you triumph in the end, the reader can’t help but feel helpless as they follow you along. I was so intensely struck by the sheer pain, grief, and loss you endured along the way. Can you talk more about your fervent desire and determination to become a mother?

A: Ironically, I hadn’t a desire to become a mother until my mid-thirties. After I’d married, then it was like lightening struck and everything else in life paled by comparison. It became a mission. I wanted into the inner circle along with my prolific mother, sisters, cousins, and friends. I’m also stubborn and hardheaded and when I want something, I go after it.

Q: The transparency and rawness of your (range of) emotions, while trying to achieve motherhood, will strike a chord with so many midlife mothers who themselves have hidden and unspoken experiences of defeat. What compelled you to write this book? Why were you so willing to expose yourself in this manner?

A: I wrote the book, thanks to my husband, who hounded me for years to tell my stories and would remind me I was a writer. I’d been so overwhelmed with two toddlers that cobwebs had shrouded my computer. When I finally […]