Mothers Over 40 Archives - Page 16 of 30

Doing a Little Less, Imperfectly, At Midlife

by Andrea Lynn

My friend’s mother just had a heart attack. A small one, and she’s recovering well. But besides the shock and concern my friend has for her mother, she’s lost her mother’s help with her two children, and her life has quickly become that much harder.

Like me, my friend is a Single Mother by Choice, having arrived late to motherhood without a partner. She had two children using an anonymous donor, and her parents have been supportive in both emotional and practical ways. Until the heart attack, her mother drove her children to many after school and weekend activities, enjoying the time with her grandchildren and helping close that gap all working parents feel between the end of the school day and the end of the work day two hours later. […]

Cada Cabeza Es Un Mundo—To Each His Own

by Liz Raptis Picco

Courtesy Liz Picco

We realized our decade long dream when we brought our toddler sons home from Ciudad Juárez, Mexico fifteen years ago. Amidst the stupefying demands of parenthood, we didn’t hesitate to fast forward to the first day of kindergarten right through high school graduation.

My eyes would go moist at the thought of our pint-sized boys heading out for elementary school and was moonstruck with pride as I envisioned strapping young men flipping their tassels, diplomas in hand. […]

Music To My Ears

by Tina Traster

There we were, on our winter break vacation, driving to our hotel after a day of skiing in the Canadian Laurentians.

“I miss my violin,” Julia sighed, dreamily gazing out at the frozen tundra, not really talking to either my husband nor I. Just thinking out loud.

“Really?” I said, whipping my head around to the back seat.

“Yeah, I should have brought it with me,” she lamented. “I miss it.”

[…]

Behold the Bounty Before Us

by Lori Pelikan Strobel

All of a sudden it becomes “the holidays” as I turn my calendar to November. I begin to think, Oh, my, how did it get here so quickly again? The beautiful leaves have fallen and now make a dull brown carpet beneath my feet. I rush to remove them to make way for the first white snowfall.

The wind seems to blow stronger and my bones begin to feel weaker as the coldness settles into them. Darkness drops its curtain hastily, as if it’s advising me to prepare for what lies ahead. I snuggle into the couch and sigh, “It’s too cold and dark to go back outside.” The house glows from the flames in the fireplace and the thoughts that the season of family is here warms my heart. The holiday season of bounty is before me. […]

Giving Birth to Life and Death

by Amy Wright Glenn

My 18-month-old son blissfully naps and I decide to catch up on some emails. I look at my inbox and notice a request for advice. I open the email, curious. After reading the first sentence, I take a deep breath.

“I experienced my first stillborn birth as a doula. I am so confused.”

The new doula in question had witnessed one of life’s most painful experiences– the birth of a lifeless infant. […]

Second Chance

by Janice Eidus

Twelve years ago, in middle age, you and your husband begin the process of adopting a child from Guatemala. You’re assured by your lawyers that the adoption will go quickly, and that within a few months, you’ll be a mother. Still, you’re intimidated by the seemingly endless mounds of paperwork, and by how you must be fingerprinted and meet numerous times with social workers and lawyers. You assure yourself that it’s all worth it to become the mother of a child who needs you, and whom you need. […]

The Advantages in Being An Only Child of an Older Mother (Part I)

by Serena Kirby

Whether as a result of increased fatigue or decreased fertility, the reality is that many later in life mums have only one child.

“Spoilt Brat”, “Little Emperor” or simply “The Boss”, these are just some of the phrases often attached to the only child. Add to that the belief that loneliness goes hand-in-hand with the single-child and it’s no wonder some older mothers feel guilt and regret for the sibling-less life of their one and only. […]

November

by Maggie Lamond Simone

The Chicken Back Syndrome

by Ann Sheybani

When did we women decide that everyone else should come first? Who proclaimed it our job to guarantee the pleasure of others and settle for whatever crumbs fall off their plates?

I’ve come to call this compulsion the Chicken Back Syndrome: preparing a chicken dinner, encouraging our husbands and children to take the best pieces—the breast, thighs and legs—and insisting that we actually like the chicken back best. Somehow, without question, everyone believes we’re just crazy enough to prefer bones and gristle. After awhile, we even convince ourselves that those tiny scraps of meat buried between the ribs are worth the effort. […]

Not Feeling My Age

by Andrea Lynn

Both my girls are in school now – preschool and kindergarten – and so that means a lot of birthday parties. We’re doing the tour of local play places and bounce houses and community centers with rooms to rent, and so every weekend it seems I’m on the sidelines with my fellow parents, making small talk while the kids race around, high on birthday cake or soon to be. […]