Don’t Go it Alone (The Creation of Project Bond – For Adoptive Families)

by Barbara DiGangi and Meredith Silversmith

Project BondIf your child has challenging behavior, where do you turn?  Typically, we look to professionals at school or in the community.  You might start with an evaluation, enroll your child in a program, or even qualify for in-home services, depending upon where you live.

But, what happens when the professionals don’t help?  When they think they know what to do, but are actually making things worse?  What if what works for some kids doesn’t work for yours?

That’s what Barbara and I asked ourselves.  Every day.  For four years. […]

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In Defense of Halloween…

by Aviva Luria

pumpkin IIYears ago, I read an essay by a reform rabbi explaining why she didn’t allow her children to celebrate Halloween. It’s not a Jewish holiday, she said and, in addition, she abhorred the stereotypical images of women and girls as witches and bunnies and princesses.

I wanted to admire her integrity and determination in the face of societal pressure to celebrate a holiday she had issues with, but I couldn’t help but feel only sympathy for her kids. We go to the movies that day, she said in the article, and no one else is there. It’s wonderful.

Later, when I had a child of my own in daycare, another kid’s dad told me, “We don’t celebrate Halloween. We’re Christian.”

Wow. Halloween gets it from all sides, doesn’t it? […]

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My Letter To Ryan

by Jo-Ann Rogan

Jo-Ann Rogan's son IIDearest Ryan,

I have been writing you letters on your birthday since you were four years old. Wish I thought to do this when you were younger.  This year was about you blossoming.

You have grown so much this year. In early June you were on the tall side but had a little kid look to you with a roundness.  Suddenly in July you were what seems like four inches taller, broad shouldered, and had a decidedly young-man-look.  Your face is changing and you are wearing men’s sized clothing and shoes.  You have become a strong young man. You often volunteer to carry heavy things for me.

You started this summer as a little boy.  In July, your rapid growth had your brain chemistry thrown off and your behavior was hard to manage and you were just hard to reach.  August brought a new found calm.  When your Dad was away working on his big project you stepped in to be my right hand man.  Often when Aaron was melting down you were the one to take the higher road in your arguments. I was so thankful for your calm head. I enjoyed the time we had together in August and I adored our “summer bucket list,” which was a list of things we wanted to do this summer.  Last week, we crossed everything off the list with the time we spent at the beach. […]

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Too Much Post-Halloween Candy? Never Fear, The Great Pumpkin Is Here!

by Melanie Elliott

Melanie Elliott Halloween IIIOur first Halloween with The Littlest E was easy breezy. He was 15 months old and didn’t really know or care about pumpkins, costumes, going trick-or-treating, or eating candy.  We stayed home that year and answered the door whenever the bell rang.

For the past few years some friends of ours whose son is The Littlest E’s age, have held a Halloween potluck.  They live in a great kid-friendly neighborhood with lots of children going door-to-door.  We starting going to their house when The Littlest E was a little over 2 years old.  That first year attending their party, we lasted 10 minutes trick-or-treating.  Our little guy was too scared of adults in costume and he didn’t even like being in his own costume.  It was all a bit too much for him. […]

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10 Signs Your Teen is Developing an Eating Problem (Part II)

by Irene Celcer

99 tipsAt age 14, Chloe becomes interested in boys and develops a crush on Jason. But Jason has a crush on Amanda. Her friends comment, “Amanda is so pretty and so thin!”

A couple of days later, Chloe decides goes on a diet. Chloe has gotten taller since she turned 12. Her weight is on target. ‘Don’t eating disorders start with dieting?’ her mother thinks. “I will get you fresh and good quality food,” she says.

Chloe begins dieting intently. She loses weight. Friends and Aunt Dottie congratulate her profusely. Something starts happening for Chloe. Dieting becomes her most important activity. Deep down, Chloe believes that being thin will grant her admiration and, Jason.1

Does Chloe have an eating disorder? Not yet. As a parent be vigilant! […]

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Autumn in the Air (Going Back)

by Maggie Lamond Simone

leaf“I wouldn’t go back there for the world!” I said to a woman whose daughter was picking out new school stuff alongside my son.

“All I did was worry about homework and clothes, and if I wasn’t doing that, I was chasing a boy – not that I ever caught one. It was just way too much stress.”

“I know!” the woman laughed. “I’m glad this one’s only in first grade!”

“That’s when I was talking about,” I replied. She grabbed her child and fled. […]

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Excerpts from Ch. 6 of the Book, The Wilderness of Motherhood

by Lora Freeman Williams

The Wilderness of Motherhood book coverDear Reader: We are so pleased to present an excerpt from MotheringintheMiddle.com contributor Lora Freeman Williams’ newly published book:

When Isaac is five weeks old, my mother dies. She has just turned 65.

My home phone rings while I’m taking a nap with the baby. It awakens me, and I decide to let it ring. When my cell begins to ring next, I realize that it is the hospital trying my second number. The nurse tells me Mom’s oxygen levels are dropping, the end near.

I cry hard for a few minutes. I’m thinking I can’t do this alone. I need help. So I call a friend, and Karen picks us up a short time later.

When we arrive, I see my mother is gasping for breath, and I feel like the little girl I once was, in big trouble. It’s like times she wanted me to fix things that were far beyond my ability to fix. The nurse tells this is what the body does as “part of the process.” She also tells me that Mom can still hear.

I go into her room, holding Isaac. […]

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The Importance of Pets in Our Child’s Life

by Sharon Sanchez

Making the decision to bring a pet into your family isn’t always easy. There are many things to consider such as the type of pet, cost, housing, etc.  You may be hoping to teach your child responsibility. All of those things are important. But adding a pet into your home can provide priceless experiences you may have not considered before. […]

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Motherhood Is The Ultimate Blessing

by Patti Rice

It’s Monday night and the house is quiet.

Well, I take that back – it’s quiet except for Hayden, who is squirming and complaining on my lap. He’s been in a grouchy mood all day, and I think I’ve nursed him 49 times. Possibly less, but it doesn’t feel like it. Lily is chattering in the background too – covering her doll with a maroon plastic pasta strainer and singing “wash, wash, wash.” (Give that girl an A+ for creativity, because I promise she isn’t reenacting anything she’s seen here before.)

But. it’s more quiet here than usual, because the rest of my kids are dispersed throughout our town tonight….some are playing football in a park with their older brother, a few are off on an ice cream date with Daddy, and Mackenzie is staying the night with a friend from work whose husband is out of town. […]

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