Motherhood Archives - Page 2 of 10 - Mothering in the Middle

Seasons Change and So Do WE!

by Wendy Sue Noah

“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.”

Stephen Hawking

Happy Autumn! Though it is still a bit too hot here in too sunny Los Angeles, I can still feel the change in the air, and in my heart.

Seasons are Mother Nature’s way of revealing how change is a natural part of life, and so very necessary, as well. Then, why is it that so many of us are afraid of change, especially since change usually equals growth?

For me, the only constant, amidst constant change, is my faith. With faith in my heart, all the changes around me don’t affect me on any level. That, I find, is the best way to deal with the fact that everything changes, and that I have no control over external change – only my inner self. […]

The Delicate (And Sometimes Painful But Growth-Producing) Art of Co-Parenting

by Lynn Reilly

On the eve of what would have been my 15^th wedding anniversary, I’m thinking about how I felt on the night before my wedding.

I remember vividly how excited I was to marry my long-time friend. It felt completely right to be laughing with him, eating dinner surrounded by our family and friends, ready to cheer us on as we began our new life. Not only was I in love, but I was full of hope for the promise of what was before us. There was no hint of the idea that this type of love would not last forever.

Fast forward to this afternoon – leaving work in a hurry to meet the bus at my house to pick up my son at drop off and race to my daughter’s soccer game. I was looking forward to it as it was the first I’d been able to attend in two weeks. On the ride there my son asked, “Will Daddy be there?”

“I don’t know Buddy,” I replied not giving it much thought. We hadn’t discussed it during our hurried text conversation of who was picking up who within the last couple days and at that particular moment, he was on my nerves. We’d had a disagreement only days before, so his presence at the game was not on my mind. […]

Life in Reverse – Entering the Work Force at 60

by Lydia Chiappetti

Next year’s birthday will be the Big One – 60! While everyone at this age is winding down, I’m revving up. I’m planning on going back to work after being unemployed for…forever. Let’s just say that big hair and suits with shoulder pads were in fashion the last time I was steadily employed.

There have been numerous paying jobs and volunteer activities over the last twenty-five years, but nothing that would indicate a career path. My resume looks like a schizophrenic on steroids: Parent Association President, Campaign Assistant for Gubernatorial Election, Associate Editor for Poetry Press, ESL Teacher. Is there a pattern there? No, just jack of all trades, master of none.

Why didn’t I work steadily all those years? I had my excuses: Monday through Friday, I had the sole responsibility of caring for the children. In addition to long distance trips, my husband worked in the World Trade Center – two hours round trip from home. After 9/11, he commuted weekly to another state for almost a decade.

My plan to find a full or part-time job was thwarted by the twenty-mile round trip drive to a school in another town. Instead of seeking out a paying job, I filled any free hours with volunteer activities, all very fulfilling at the time. […]

Autumn Musings

by Nancy LaMar-Rodgers

In Love With Death

Fifteen years ago, I was talking to a woman at a party who told me she absolutely hated the Fall season. No bones about it – she loathed it and would never feel any different, no matter how many picture perfect postcards you could wave of New England’s vibrant color change.

To this day, this mystifies me. My favorite month of the year is October. I am invigorated from October 1^st till well after the Christmas holidays. The month of October rejuvenates my spirit and I believe that the air I breathe in during that month sustains me for the rest of the year.

This same woman told me that the only thing she felt during the fall was the impending notion of winter. It was as if on exactly September 21^st, her bones began to brace themselves for all things cold. At the time she had two small children and I asked her if the kids liked jumping in piles of leaves, apple picking, or of course, the thrill of Halloween. She told me that she didn’t do leaf piles(there might be ticks) and yes she did Halloween but it was generally in a safe place like the mall. […]

Teens and Hate – A Scientific Life Lesson

by Christy Stansell

You know what I HATE the most? I hate hate. And, I REALLY hate it when my children say they hate something. In fact, I hate it so much that I hate to even write this.

I hate it when people say, “Don’t you hate it when….” I hate that there is hate in the world that causes me to have to write about hate to help people see why it doesn’t even make sense to hate anything. OK. Enough. Blech! I think you get the point.

Here’s what has me riled up:

The other day, my 8^th grade daughter was getting herself ready for school. I’m proud of her because, until now, I’d have to get up early to make sure she’s out of bed in time.

[…]

6 Great Tips for Stepfamilies/Co-Parents to Navigate Back-to-School (Madness)

by Trisha Ladogna

For many families the start of the school term and the return to school is a looming presence that generates a sense of palpable unease. The back-to-school madness, coupled by parents who operate from two separate homes juggling their respective household’s needs, brings with it a unique set of challenges.

The pressure of organizing enrollments, purchasing of school equipment and supplies and selecting and confirming extra circular activities can exacerbate simmering tensions and ignite old debates between separated parents about finances, about who did more, who did nothing or who doesn’t do enough.

The key to limiting back-to-school madness and a successful school year for parents, stepparents and children, ultimately comes down to two things: civility and effective communication between everyone involved – between parents, children, stepchildren, ex-spouses and new partners, teachers and administrators. All of whom, although in particular parents and stepparents, are integral parts in ensuring the kids’ academic success and emotional wellbeing. […]

Where Did the Time Go?? (Letting Go of My Teenager – One Step At a Time)

by Laura Jane Murphy

My sweet toddler, who only a minute ago was going off to pre-school, is starting high school this week. I am terrified!

All these spinning emotions are rising to the surface and I woke today with butterflies in my gut.

I was in high school 42 year ago and I don’t have a clue where to begin with all the changes that have taken place.

It’s times like these that I wish my daughter had an older sibling, cousin, someone who could bridge the gap and be there to navigate this new terrain for the next four years. […]

My Gentle Little Warrior

by Carmel Harrington

It’s hard to believe that it was a year ago that we were all chucking buckets of water over each other in the worldwide charity bid to raise money through the Ice Bucket Challenge.

Once our news feeds dried off the last few droplets of icy water, in its stead were dozens of first day of school pictures.

I remember every detail of that time so clearly. Why? Because last year, my daughter Amelia Rose, embarked on one of the biggest adventures of a child’s young life – she started junior infants. […]

Breastfeeding Halves Your Chances of Post-Natal Depression

by Ellie Stoneley

Can breastfeeding make you happy?

It does me, albeit, after a shaky start.

Now there is proof that it can lower your risk of depression.

A UK report says, post natal depression is more than double in women who planned to breastfeed and then were unable to, whereas the women who planned to breastfeed and then did are 50% less likely to be affected. This is significant when you consider that 1 in 10 women develop depression after the birth of a child. […]

Adoption’s Teachable Moment #27

by Melanie Elliott

If you’ve been reading my posts, you’ll know that my family is a transracial adoptive family. My husband and I brought our son home with us from Ethiopia nearly 5 years ago when he was a little over a year old.

Since bringing him home, when we are with The Littlest E and sometimes without him, we’ve experienced those awkward and/or uncomfortable moments when someone says something inappropriate (but well meaning at times) about adoption.

They may say something that’s meant to be a joke, but comes off completely off color. Or, they may do something outright rude. When that happens, and it does, I use that as an opportunity for an “Adoption Teaching Moment” as I like to call it. […]