Is That Your Grandson?

by Nancy LaMar Rodgers

Here’s to Your Health

I put the supplements up on the counter at the health food store.  My eight month old was positioned on my hip and my 11 year old was standing next to me, bored and put out by the endless errands we had to run that day.

On the counter was Kava Kava for relaxation, B12 for energy, Vitamin D for my immune, Psyllium powder for constipation, and Black Cohosh for menopausal symptoms.  My son was fidgeting and trying to grab whatever was colorful on the counter.  The owner had yet to come to the register.  I handed the baby off to his sister and said, “hold your brother for a second, I forgot something.”  She obliged begrudgingly, still annoyed with his existence, ruining her standing as an “only child.” […]

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Life Comes in a Tube of Toothpaste

by Marc Parsont

toothpaste IMy wife is particular.  Favorite brand of this.  Won’t touch that.  I understand and try and adapt to this part of her nature.  I’m not sure I’m that much better anyway.

It didn’t bother me when she asked me to pick up some toothpaste for her at the local drugstore.  How hard is it to pick up some toothpaste?  That was my first mistake.

I mean, how hard can it be?  Keep this in mind.  The last time I bought toothpaste was a little over a year and three tubes of Cinnamon toothpaste gel ago.  TGFA (Thank Goodness for Amazon!)

Well, let me tell you.  That gooey, paste or gel can make your brain swell and pop — like one of those science fiction movies with the exception that you’ll have whiter teeth and better smelling breath. […]

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Older Parenting

by Marc Parsont

eldermanBecoming an older parent, while gratifying, is downright scary.  We married when I turned 45 years old, and she was not.  Like any G-d fearing, country-loving man, I married a younger woman – an intelligent, loving woman who wanted children, with me no less.

We were fortunate.  While having children wasn’t easy, it wasn’t impossible.  We faced difficulties, tragedies that tested our love, and had two lovely children thirteen months apart.

I do not write of our success to make you feel jealous, unhappy or sad or awful.  I am writing to tell you of the fear I have right now about being an older parent, while writing to you from the emergency room of our local hospital. […]

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Vacations Aren’t for the Weak at Heart

by Marc Parsont

The fact that I don’t have Type 2 Diabetes comes as a shock to every medical practitioner I see.  I’m just coming down from the sugar high I had last night at Rehobeth Beach, Delaware.

They had a bonfire at the beach where they provided marshmallows for children to roast or as it appeared to me, flame them down to a charred, black tar suitable only for sliming back into the primordial ooze. […]

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Half-Way Through Summer/Half-Way to School

by Marc Parsont

summer and beachIt’s the middle of summer, but the ads have started coming already.  Buy backpacks and shoes and pencils, lunch boxes, book covers, shirts, slacks, shorts.

We spend nine months getting through school and then another three months selling them gear, garbage, puff, fluff and Spam (and I really mean Spam…the other Lunch Meat) to go back there.

Even though Labor Day and the beginning of school is far off, you can begin to see that glimmer of hope and eagerness beginning to betray itself.  The gear just starts those juices flowing.

Those tendrils begin to show at odd times, early mornings, late afternoons, when they don’t think they’re being watched.  Little grins and slivers appear randomly.  The complaints begin to taper off.  The moans and whines stop being repetitive, and get replaced by moments of pure silence and peace. […]

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Vacation II

by Maggie Lamond Simone

family bathing suitsIt’s good to get away.

The family unity experienced at the start of a vacation is a thing of beauty. The sense of expectation is high and positive attitudes abound. Vacations provide bonding opportunities for both parents and children that will last a lifetime. There is no fighting, no crying and very little whining

We try to vacation at least once a year. We usually go to beaches because I’ve been on a quest to find a conch shell on the beach for the last forty years or so. We’ve been to Maine (no conch shells), Cape Cod (no conch shells), and North Carolina (no conch shells.)

With each conch shell failure, I become more dejected. It bothers my husband almost as much, I think. He hates to see me sad, because he loves me and also because my clutter tends to worsen. “Hey, here’s a thought!” he helpfully chimed in during this year’s planning process. “Let’s find out where the conchs are, and go there!” I ignored his sarcasm and booked a trip to the Gulf Coast of Florida. […]

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Being a Parent is Not a Popularity Contest

by Marc Parsont

Popularity contestBeing a parent is not a popularity contest.

It is not a one man or woman operation either. You never know what challenges you’ll face, which is both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.  If you can face your fears and anxieties, you might just make an awesome parent.

Your children won’t recognize this until you’re really old, but in the meantime, your job is to make them horrified to have you as parents (just like we did to our parents).  The mere possibility that you might embarrass them in front of their peers is the lever you need to survive their growth to maturity.

So here are my few parenting thoughts:

Take as many baby pictures now as possible.  Make sure they are in silly positions/situations/clothing.  Keep a copy handy for when guests and relatives come by.  I guarantee they won’t misbehave.

Use the photographs of them sitting on the toilet as adequate backups. […]

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Vacation I

by Maggie Lamond Simone

family bathing suitsThe purpose of a vacation, they say, is to make us feel better. It is an opportunity to escape from real life for awhile, to pamper ourselves, to do things we ordinarily don’t do. It is meant to restore our mental health so that the usual daily routine isn’t so bad. That’s why we look forward to it each and every year.

This year, with the kids a little bit older, we had a family meeting to discuss where to go. After some debate and discussion, we decided as a family to go to the ocean. After making said decision, the husband and children then went about their lives, their jobs apparently complete. […]

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The Oy’s and Joys of Summer

by Wendy Sue Noah

It’s summer time!  YAY!

Wendy Sue Noah's kids at the beach

I used to say, when I was growing up, that things were very different.  Not only were we friendly with our neighbors, with all day play and sleep overs to boot, but if I disappeared for hours to explore the woods in our backyard and play with the inchworms or hang out in my favorite tree, there were no worries or concerns.

Now, our reality is so very different.  Even sending my kids to school all day, I have to go into faith when I kiss them goodbye, praying that these school shootings don’t reveal themselves in our town. […]

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