Midlife Foibles! Archives - Page 12 of 15

It’s Christmas Time!

by Andrea Lynn

It’s Christmas time, and my kids are 2 and 4. Magical, as everyone keeps telling me. This is the year. They must be so excited. And they are, I assure you. But boy, the pressure is really on ME now to live up to the hype. Traditions must be kept, or started. Decorating the house, buying the tree, the advent calendars, the gingerbread houses, the Christmas books. As each special thing happens, I wonder, hmmm, does this mean I have to do this again next year? Paper chains until they are how old? And, crap, I forgot to string the Christmas cards – is it too late? […]

A Menopausal Mom’s Christmas List

by Maggie Lamond Simone

Image courtesy of http://beartoons.com

Dear Santa,

It’s that time of year again already, huh? Time sure flies when you’re having… well, menopause, spelling bees, and student council meetings. You’ll have to take my word on all counts, I’m guessing, but trust me. The times — and the moms — they are a’changin’. Heck, I could light up a Christmas tree without even plugging myself in! But that’s not why we’re here, is it? Let’s get down to business. […]

Musings of a Midlife Mother

by Heather Rancourt

The occasional reminder of youth slipping away, our SKIN!

There are not enough lotions, creams, or remedies to keep up with the signs of drying. I’ve gone from a grape to a raisin. I’ve tried several products on the market; some feel like they’re working, some feel like a Darth Vadar mask; some are gooey; some have little tiny stones in them; some scare my children, but none of them seem to bring back the eternal glow.

So, I decided to home remedy this problem with oatmeal. On a health website I found, it said, “Adding instant oatmeal to your bath will soothe your skin.” I didn’t need to finish reading, I got it. Started the water in the bathtub, emptied 72 packets of my instant oatmeal into it, and proceeded to get in. All the while I was sitting in this goop, I imagined I would come out beautified. As time went on, things got heavy and thick and I could barely move my legs. I yelled for my husband; I started to panic. He came running in and yelled, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” As I tried to stand, I said, “Trying to make my skin not so dry! It’s a home remedy, help me get out!” He grabbed my hand, helped me stand up, and quietly said, “Did the remedy call for Oatmeal Brown Maple Sugar?”

Moral of the story: Keep reading – we do not know everything.

Heather Rancourt, 42, is a graduate of a boarding school for the performing arts in Washington, CT. She majored in communications at Arizona State University. Heather is the owner of Chasem2 Productions LLC, and the creator of […]

Thank God It’s Thanksgiving

by Suzanne Braun Levine

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite day of the year. The way I do it, it has all the advantages of a holiday with none of the oppressive side-effects. There are no presents, so there is no guilt or financial stress. The food is wonderful and comforting (with lots of leftovers). I can enjoy a jello mold or sweet potatoes with marshmallows without shame. The participants are so ill-assorted that there is no way it could be called a dinner party, so there is little worry about maintaining my cool. Moreover, there is no chance that anyone can mix up the date and ring the doorbell a day early. And somehow family is absorbed into the chaos and the calories in a way that tension is neutralized. The pleasure I feel as I gaze around the table is a far cry from the anxiety family life usually brings. Or used to. […]

Eight Preemptive Strikes for Peaceful Family Holidays

Susan Newman, Ph.D.

When I am trying to make sure the turkey doesn’t dry out or the potato casserole doesn’t burn, the last thing I want to hear is my daughters arguing about a ten-year-old slight or difference.

Whether you are the host or a guest, family holidays resurrect memories and emotions – both happy and troublesome. The added stress that comes with the holidays increases most everyone’s sensitivity. Your daughter announces she is spending the holiday with her in-laws; your brother claims the distance is too great to spend the holiday at your house. Divorced parents? With which one do you celebrate? Even if you worked out these details years ago, another issue will crop up to raise your hackles and test your mettle. Holidays touch a nerve and in the process your expectations can get squashed or dented. […]

Middle School Daughter Gives Midlife Mom a Beauty Makeover from the Inside Out

by Pamela Cytrynbaum

In a valiant effort to spruce me up, my daughter said it’s time for a field trip to the Holy Grail – where the worlds of middle school girls and their middle-aged mothers collide: The Mall

In a show of shockingly bad judgment, I unwittingly enlisted a few middle school girls to help me reinvent myself before the weekend when in theory I have accepted the first date I’ve been on in nearly two decades. I stand by my original contention that I am awesome as is. And yet, it is precisely because I am so awesome, so brave and open, that I have agreed to invite and withstand some rather withering tween criticism of my general comportment. […]

Menopause: Not Just For Moms Anymore!

by Maggie Lamond Simone

My son was upset the other night because he realized he’d only practiced piano a couple times throughout the week and his lesson was the next day. He was very hard on himself, and I said, “I’m sorry, honey. You’re only nine; mommy needs to remind you more often. That’s part of my job.” […]

Naked Is As Naked Does

by Julie Donner Andersen

Every child-rearing book will tell you that children reach a point in their babyhood when being naked is preferred to wearing clothing. Child psychologists concur that this is a normal, healthy phase of development as children start exploring their birthday suits. […]

The Oldest Kindergartener

by Andrea Lynn

Last week, I walked my daughter to her first day of kindergarten. We did all the typical first-day things, the new backpack, the special outfit, lots and lots of photos on our front steps, the Facebook share of that first-day-of-kindergarten moment in time. It joined my newsfeed of other first-day at school photos from friends – including the “first day at university” photo of a friend and his daughter, smiling from a lecture hall on a leafy campus. My friend is exactly my age – 40. And while I acknowledge I got started a little late on this whole parenting thing, it still boggles my mind that someone I went to high school with 22 years ago is driving his kid to a far-flung college campus while I walk my 4 year old down the street to kindergarten. Another friend touring university campuses with her daughter exclaimed: “How did this happen so fast?!” My reply as I prepared for kindergarten: “How did this happen so slow?” […]

Embracing It All (You Can Call Me Grandma!)

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: I often write about the pitfalls and achievements of new older motherhood; the angst of moving into menopause; the knowledge that being over-50 means that the end post is right straight ahead, and in plain sight.

But, today, I’m writing about enlarging our family. No, despite many sleepless nights over this topic, we will not be adding any more children to our family. However, we are adding another member, of sorts. Today, I’m writing about my older son, who appears smitten with …let’s call her “Lady Godiva.” I am happy for him; he (and she) seems happy. I envision a wedding and all the rest of it coming my way – much sooner than later. […]