Fostering/Guardianship Archives - Mothering in the Middle

How to Make a Good Marriage Better

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

You know what they say if something is moving along without any major hurdles – ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’ But your marriage may not yet have reached its full potential. Believe it or not, you can change boring routines and improve your relationship.

According to the field of interpersonal neurobiology, our brains are constantly changing. And that is impacted by how we interact daily. Loving relationships can alter the brain circuits that shape memories and emotions. […]

The Wait

by Michelle Eisler

Dust is collecting on your bedroom furniture-you notice when you drag yourself out of bed an hour after your alarm has gone off. You start circling the kitchen, trying to decide if you’re hungry or if you should wash the stack of dishes you’re pretending aren’t there. Mid-afternoon thinking is should you make another cup of coffee to perk up as you check your email for the tenth time.

By 9pm you want to go to bed as you’re exhausted but it seems too early, at 10:30 you have a second wind and decide to watch one more TV show. Come 1am you finally go to bed and promise that at the sound of your alarm you will get up, exercise, and shower before you start your day. And then the cycle starts again. If this sounds familiar, you might be a waiting parent.

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Gray Matter

by Deatra Haime Anderson

I’m of a certain age (okay, I turned 50 last August) and have been battling gray hair for at least 10 years. It all seemed to start innocently enough … a few hairs here, a few there, and then before I knew it, it was much more than a few and I didn’t think twice about coloring it.

There are two camps when it comes to the gray hair thing: those that embrace (and rock) it and those that well … don’t. I’m definitely in the latter. I look fairly young for my age (really! I’m the lucky recipient of great genes and plumpy skin) and am sure gray hair would age me. And the thing is, I just don’t want to look older. I have a seven-year-old daughter and even though I usually am the oldest mom at the park (I once had the lovely realization that another mom was exactly half my age), I’m vain enough that I don’t want to look like the oldest mom at the park. […]

Cyma Shapiro Interviews Photographer Dave Engledow

In 2010, after the birth of his daughter, Alice Bee, (midlife father and) photographer Dave Engledow set out to capture her in a variety of humorous situations. Placing only the two of them in the photos, he created a series of vignettes which allowed him to express his (many varied) emotions at being a first-time dad, while documenting the growth of his daughter. He hoped this collection would be his gift to her, as an adult. […]

Losing Decker

by Maggie Lamond Simone

My dog went to Heaven; he went there today.

I’m not quite sure how, but he knew the way.

Every day it was harder to run and to climb,

And I guess in his heart, he knew it was time. […]

Mistaken Identity and a Big Mistake

by Ellie Stoneley

I guess it had to happen one day …

17 months have passed since she was born. I was 47 then, I’m (just) 49 now. Many people have congratulated me on my beautiful, funny, chatting, waving, singing, dancing daughter. And then, finally, along with the sunshine came the question that the media would like to think that I (as an ‘older mother’) get asked all the time. “Are you her Grandmother?” Oddly it wasn’t just once but twice in the same day … and both times by other (older-looking) women. […]

Old Enough for Gratitude

by Andrea Lynn

My mother just dodged a cancer scare. My uncle is in the middle of one. My brother is having heart problems, and on Sunday I rushed my 2-year-old into the ER with an allergic reaction, that, thank God, resolved itself in a few hours without much medical intervention. So far, fingers crossed, everyone is fine. But it is that time of life when I’m feeling like we’re living on very shaky foundations, and no one should be taking anything for granted. […]

My Love Will Not Let You Down

by Ellie Stoneley

At this time of year, when the tills of florists, card shops and chocolate emporia go “ker-ching,” the world is suddenly filled with red heart-shaped helium balloons, and I’ve often been known to become a little cynical.

I love ‘love’, and I love being told I’m loved and I love loving the people I love, but, and it is a big, but, I do struggle with the huge amount of money spent at Valentine’s Day on meals that are that bit more expensive than they usually are and, well, the whole thing really. I used to love the idea of anonymous Valentine’s cards and remember trying to disguise my writing in them at school or trying to decipher coded messages to see if I could work out who a card was from. I also know and do remember the bitter disappointment when no card arrived, or if the rose that did come wasn’t a huge bunch of them. (Yes, I was that shallow as a teenager … and constantly disappointed!!!) […]

Infertile. Me? No way, I’m Latina!

Liz Raptis Picco

I’m soon to be 60, raising teenage brothers who my husband and I adopted from Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua almost fifteen years ago. Being a Latina and native speaker definitely helped when we approached an orphanage in northern Mexico. Being a Latina also made it difficult for me to talk about it openly among my family.

I’ve noticed the same reluctance in Latinas to discuss infertility and IVF, as well as adoption. I follow many wonderful blogs where important issues concerning Latinas are showcased, but I have not yet found one that discusses infertility.

Why? […]

The Oldest Kindergartener

by Andrea Lynn

Last week, I walked my daughter to her first day of kindergarten. We did all the typical first-day things, the new backpack, the special outfit, lots and lots of photos on our front steps, the Facebook share of that first-day-of-kindergarten moment in time. It joined my newsfeed of other first-day at school photos from friends – including the “first day at university” photo of a friend and his daughter, smiling from a lecture hall on a leafy campus. My friend is exactly my age – 40. And while I acknowledge I got started a little late on this whole parenting thing, it still boggles my mind that someone I went to high school with 22 years ago is driving his kid to a far-flung college campus while I walk my 4 year old down the street to kindergarten. Another friend touring university campuses with her daughter exclaimed: “How did this happen so fast?!” My reply as I prepared for kindergarten: “How did this happen so slow?” […]