Mothering contributor DeAnna Scott, 48, is the mother of twins, Robert and Phoebe (born via a traditional surrogacy in June 2013). DeAnna is a p/t photographer and full-time mom. We will feature her work on a monthly basis.
by Gina Broadbent
The urban legend of motherhood contends that if you don’t embarrass your child, you’re not doing your job.
I’ve always been a bit of an overachiever and, never more so than during my daughter’s tween/teen years. I pursued with a passion, one I usually reserve for a crisp sauvignon blanc or a deep tissue massage, perfect performance on this compass of parental competence.
Yes, I did it; I did it all- all the miserable, misguided maternal behavior sure to elicit a roll of the eyes, a highly offended yelp of “EWEE,” and the ultimate,”Mom, people heard you say that!” […]
by Roxanne Jones
Dear Reader: Please enjoy some haikus from BoomerHaiku that celebrate the special challenges – and rewards – of midlife motherhood.
Japanese symbol for Mother
What’s Boomer Haiku? Well, a haiku is a 17-syllable poem in three lines of 5, 7 and 5 that traditionally evokes images of the natural world. Boomer Haiku (a blog by Roxanne Jones) takes a mostly light-hearted, often irreverent look at life as a baby boomer as we move through midlife and beyond. After all, what could be more natural than looking (and laughing) at our lives at this juncture?
Having a baby practically guarantees you never get enough sleep. Plus, you’re likely dealing with the sleeplessness that often accompanies perimenopause or menopause:
Sleep deprived. Whether
from hormones or new baby,
it’s my new normal. […]
by Jo-Ann Rogan
My first child did not arrive until I was close to my 38th birthday, so I spent years thinking Mother’s Day was someone else’s holiday. I never imagined I would have children – it was a day where I just showed love to the Moms in my life, but it was never about me.
Then I had kids.
When they were little, my husband would help, but it still wasn’t about me because babies are needy little creatures, especially when they are nursing. Eventually, I could get my kids to do projects with me on Mother’s Day. (My husband cooks and I get the kids to help me plant a garden or do other household chores which will give us time together.) My Mother’s Day is usually nice.
For some women, Mother’s Day is agony. I personally watched friends suffer through the holiday after losing a parent, struggling with infertility, or having had a complicated relationship with their own mother. […]
Trisha Ladogna and Rachel Ruby
Modern-day Mother’s Day celebrations are an opportunity to pay tribute to our mothers and thank them for all their love and support. For stepfamilies, this day of appreciation of mothers and mother-figures can raise a whole lot of something – not all of it always good!
For many reasons, it can be difficult for children, even those with the most amicable of co-parents, to celebrate both their parents and stepparents on Mother’s/Father’s Day. Mother’s Day can highlight the most intractable problems between moms and stepmoms and leave children feeling like they are fighting the ‘Battle Royale’ of internal battles out in public for their whole world to see.
As a stepmother, being ignored by your stepchildren on Mother’s Day – well, it sucks. More so, if you have been in the picture for a long time and you do a lot of parent-like things for your stepchild. Putting yourself in your stepchild’s shoes and looking at the situation from their perspective might help take the sting out of being overlooked or ignored on Mother’s Day. While considering things from the child’s point of view, you might also find that their response towards you on Mother’s Day actually has little to do with you as a person or as a stepmom, but more about their own feelings and struggles. […]
by Nancy LaMar-Rodgers
Nancy is the infant not yet in the photo
Ode to Mom
I am the youngest of eight children. I was born in 1963, a bygone era of large families and stay-at-home moms. My mother had eight children within 13 years with a few miscarriages thrown in for good pregnancy measure.
We are Irish Catholics with no sense of rhythm and therefore yearly pregnancies were the norm.
While I remember us celebrating Mother’s Day as adult children, I have no recollection of what that day looked like for her when we were all young. I know that Mothers Day existed, because Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation in 1914 declaring it a day of honor for mothers. […]
by Lori Mihalich-Levin
During the holiday season a few years ago, the chief of my division at work gave each of us a bottle of wine as an end-of-the-year thank you gift. Attached to the bottle was a typed note of the things she was grateful for, and at the top of the page was a handwritten, personalized note of gratitude.
To me, she wrote “Thank you for juggling work and motherhood so elegantly.” Elegence?! I was breathtaken. I was only a few months back from maternity leave after the birth of my second child, and that word was the antithesis of how I would have described myself.
Here I was, thinking I was frazzled beyond recognition, burning candles at both ends, wearing ponytails and quite possibly clothing that smelled like spit-up. And the word she chose was “elegantly”?! […]
By Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.
Are you dreading Mother’s Day again this year and worrying about what to do for your mom? Perhaps you have never been close or are now estranged and feeling angry. Have you cut the mother-daughter ties and ignore the day, but remain resentful and sad? Or do you pretend everything is OK and give her a gift anyway?
Even though the media lead us to believe that all mothers deserve flowers and chocolates, if you don’t have a good relationship, this ‘special’ day can be agonizing. […]
by Nicholas D'Ambra
I remember reading somewhere that a stay-at-home mom’s salary hangs somewhere around $112,000 a year. This includes overtime, which… lets’ face it…it should. The hourly average comes out at .25 below $18 per hour. Where we live, we pay a good sitter $15 per hour, so that hourly rate is, if anything, low (insert wide-eye emoticon here).
The two things we do not value enough in this country are stay-at-home parents (I’m including Dads here, because times have changed, people!) and teachers. It’s ironic, really, because as Americans, we want to be the best in all things and we value family so very much.
And if we value family so much, then why are moms… and dads who stay at home so under-valued/under-appreciated? […]
by Cyma Shapiro
On the 30th day of April, Another said to me, “Good for You!”
On the first day of May, Another said to me, “What were you thinking?”
On the second day of May, Another said to me, “Why would you do this?”
On the third day of May, Another said to me, “When will you retire?”
On the fourth day of May, Another said to me, “Are you the Grandma?”
On the fifth day of May, Another said to me, “You’re how old?”
On the sixth day of May, Another said to me, “You are pretty selfish!”
On the seventh day of May, Another said to me, “Is this your first marriage?”
On the eighth day of May, Another said to me, “How did you do this?”
On the ninth day of May, Another said to me, “Who is the father?”
On the tenth day of May, Another said to me, “A lot of people are doing this.”