Daily Living Archives - Page 7 of 74 - Mothering in the Middle

Father’s Day Always Sucked

by Theresa Turchin

Father’s Day is coming around again – the time of year that reminds me what a great dad my husband is (even though he drives me crazy sometimes with his overwhelming patience for our son, I just want to get stuff done and he takes his darn, sweet time)….anyway I’m off subject.

Father’s Day is also that time of year where I (you?) take a trip to the local drug store and stare blankly at cards that don’t relate to my relationship with my own dad.

“Thanks, Dad for always being there,” or, “He didn’t teach me how to live, he lived and let me watch him do it,” Or, “Dad, you held my hand and showed me the world.” I almost always end up wiping tears away.

It stinks, because I’m supposed to be over the fact that my dad wasn’t around much when I was growing up, and wasn’t there for me…. […]

A Shout Out To Dads Everywhere

by Melanie Elliott

Father’s Day is fast approaching. I’ve been thinking about the fathers of today – what fatherhood was like in the past and how dads have changed over the years. While thinking, my brain landed on the Showtime show Masters of Sex. It’s the story of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, and, of course, the study of sex.

Renowned gynecologist, William Masters, brilliantly portrayed by Michael Sheen, was so far removed from his child he couldn’t even change his diaper, pick up his crying child, or be there for his son in any way that provided emotional support, love or affection.

Now, this may be a dramatization (and a gross generalization), but there’s a part of me that thinks there’s some truth in this show as to how dads parented back in the late 1950s. Not all dads, but probably a large percentage of fathers. Parenting was for the wife and/or nanny (if you lived in an affluent home). […]

How Do I Feel About Father’s Day? (Thoughts from Mr. Mom)

by Marc Parsont

Let me start out by saying, “I HATE Father’s Day! What a waste of time, energy and money!

I don’t need breakfast in bed.

I can’t sleep longer than 6:30, anyway, because of the dog – my son’s dog, I might add.

I don’t want to go to brunch or dinner with or without the kids; Father’s Day is a fake holiday. […]

Letting Dads be Dads at Work This Father’s Day

by Lori Mihalich-Levin

A few weeks ago, I wrote about celebrating our mother colleagues at work on Mother’s Day. And the same, I believe, should go for dads. Both of these parental-celebration days are, for good reason, celebrated privately, among family. But there is no reason not to tout the merits of great moms and great dads at our places of employment, too.

I know, I know – studies have shown that women get a “motherhood penalty” at work and are suddenly perceived as less competent, while fathers get the so-called “fatherhood bonus” simply for having kids. These are biases that we, as a society need to work hard to educate ourselves about and to eradicate. […]

My Father By Any Other Name…

by Heather Griffiths

It doesn’t matter who your father was; it matters who I remember he was – Anne Sexton

What or rather who is a father? If you grew up in a Norman Rockwell painting, a father is depicted as someone who is there for you – supportive and attentive in every way; the “rule setter” – the stern but loving man who helped guide you into adulthood. The man who would give you away on your wedding day to the person you love.

For me, I grew up in a single-parent household with my mother and sisters. The person I knew to be my father was unsupportive – a staunch alcoholic rule-breaker in every sense of the word. Still, to this day, he has no idea when my birthday is. Yet, as a child he was my father. I grew up learning that I should love him and respect him, regardless. […]

Top 10 Reasons: Irrefutable Proof That Mr. H is a Great Dad

by Carmel Harrington

On my first date with Mr H, we sat drinking elaborate virgin cocktails, in the lounge of the swanky Fitzwilliam Bar on Stephens Green, Dublin. The cocktails had more fruit in them than a Carmen Miranda hat!

As we shyly shared details of our lives, I began to think that this guy could be special.

But then we had a little speed wobble. As in the wheels nearly came off the bus. As I airily declared that I wanted a man with no baggage, his face paled a little.

Feck (translation: oh, no!).

He quickly reassured me that his particular baggage didn’t include a wife, ex or otherwise, (good times), but he did have a three-year old daughter, from a previous relationship (bad times).

Feck. Feck.

[…]

For Father’s Day: An Homage to My Child’s Mother

by Stefan Kleinschuster

So, I was taking one of our wonderful walks with my crying kid through this dreamy California neighborscape. Sophie had fallen and scraped her hands – something she wouldn’t even balk at had she been at the park or further away from Her. But here, and after the fateful events of ten minutes ago, she was focused, you could say, on a certain (female) person.

I doubted the morale of our trip in the first place. Ten minutes before we were leaving Her, and after Her sweet kisses and soft looks, my daughter did an award–winning impression of an eternal goodbye with tears that would make a winged Oscar Committee cry into their leather seats. Blue eyes rimmed in red, platinum hair being blown by the foul wind of her Departure with Daddy, she wailed like Winslet. […]

How My Dad Taught Me to be a Dad

by Nicholas D'Ambra

I’m not an expert at being a Dad, but I learned a lot from my own father, who happened to be the best. He wasn’t perfect. He definitely made mistakes. However, he made those mistakes seem like integral threads in the blanket of parenting.

He always put his family first. Like his father before him, my Dad worked hellishly long hours to provide for his family. I couldn’t list five things he ever purchased for himself. He would often go without, so his kids could go with.

He always made time for his children. At the end of a 14-hour day, he would help coach my Little League team. I would wait for him to come home in summertime at the top of our block, sitting on a wall. He smiled whenever he saw me there. I would get into the car and drive the short distance home where he would grab something to eat on our way to practice. […]

How Our Family Makes Father’s Day a “Biggie” Deal

by Christy Stansell

I hope you don’t have one, but if you do, I’m guessing your court order looks something like mine: the child will spend Mother’s Day with Mom and Father’s Day with Dad, even if it is “supposed” to be the other parent’s weekend. That was all good and fine…. until I got remarried… and now my husband – the “step-dad” – never gets to have Father’s Day with his step-daughter. It’s heart-wrenching.

When my second husband and I were dating, my little girl told me, “When my dad goes to heaven, I want Biggie to be my daddy.” We called him “Biggie” because, as God’s humor would have it, he and my daughter have the same name, just spelled differently. Little did she know then that it wouldn’t be long before she’d get her wish. I remarried soon after my daughter’s 6th birthday. She delighted in being the flower girl for our wedding.

Now my forever-husband and my daughter are “like this” (picture fingers wound together tightly!) And, even though her birth father is still alive, my daughter calls her step-dad “Daddy” (much to her biological father’s chagrin.) I’m not about to forbid my daughter from calling him whatever endearment she feels comfortable. Honestly, if her dad got remarried, and she wanted to call his wife “Mom” I’d let her, without complaint, because I’m confident in my role as her mother… but I digress. […]

For Father’s Day: Building Meaningful Relationships Through Communication

Phyllis Goldberg Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman Ph.D.

It’s easy to buy into the commercialism of Father’s Day. You may wonder if expensive ties or tools will bring you closer, only to realize you want honest conversations with your dad. Perhaps you don’t want only emails from your brother or texts from your son. If you’re ready for more openness with the men in your life, why not start with your partner?

According to research on the effectiveness of marital therapy, communication is one of the most commonly reported and difficult problem to manage. Discrepancies in how men and women talk can lead to further conflict as partners begin to focus blame on each other, themselves or the quality of their relationship. […]