Commentary Archives - Page 9 of 72 - Mothering in the Middle

The School of Transracial Motherhood

by Michelle Eisler

This is not Michelle

Being on the cusp of turning 44 and trying to learn a new language has made me question my sanity. Being in school, again, I remember wishing I could do better, realizing I never understood what I thought I did and ultimately being disappointed in myself. My desire to do well was constantly chased with the overwhelming possibility I never would.

For me, school was a place to be social, learn my love of singing and fight with my anxiety for the first two weeks of every school year.

[…]

A Girl’s Best Friend(s)

by Julie Scagell

I was observing a group of college friends over lunch the other day and it brought me back to my own college days.

I adored my university experience; it is where I met my lifelines, my Rat Pack. Nine of us met freshman year and eventually all lived together, crammed into a five bedroom house on North Henry Street. We ruled the world back then with our Discmans and fake ID’s. We had youth and hairspray on our side. We were unstoppable.

We have experienced so much since those beer soaked days of college 20 years ago. We have rallied around each other through divorce, miscarriage, infertility, and aging. There have been cancer scares, pregnancy scares (back when all of us combined couldn’t have changed a diaper), and a million everyday dramas. […]

My Birthing Experience: When I Became A Mom – For Real

by Theresa Turchin

Some mothers will say that they first felt like a mother when they saw an ultrasound of their baby for the very first time, or the moment they heard the baby’s heart beat, maybe even felt the first kick or movement their baby made inside of them.

I love and cherish all those moments. But, the moment I truly felt like a mother came in the hospital, as I was about to give birth to our son…. […]

The View From Scott’s Corner – A Mother’s Delight

Mothering contributor DeAnna Scott, 48, is the mother of twins, Robert and Phoebe (born via a traditional surrogacy in June 2013). DeAnna is a p/t photographer and full-time mom. We will feature her work on a monthly basis.

A Mother’s Job Is Never Done

by Gina Broadbent

The urban legend of motherhood contends that if you don’t embarrass your child, you’re not doing your job.

I’ve always been a bit of an overachiever and, never more so than during my daughter’s tween/teen years. I pursued with a passion, one I usually reserve for a crisp sauvignon blanc or a deep tissue massage, perfect performance on this compass of parental competence.

Yes, I did it; I did it all- all the miserable, misguided maternal behavior sure to elicit a roll of the eyes, a highly offended yelp of “EWEE,” and the ultimate,”Mom, people heard you say that!” […]

Haiku for Midlife Mothers – Happy Mother’s Day!

by Roxanne Jones

Dear Reader: Please enjoy some haikus from BoomerHaiku that celebrate the special challenges – and rewards – of midlife motherhood.

Japanese symbol for Mother

What’s Boomer Haiku? Well, a haiku is a 17-syllable poem in three lines of 5, 7 and 5 that traditionally evokes images of the natural world. Boomer Haiku (a blog by Roxanne Jones) takes a mostly light-hearted, often irreverent look at life as a baby boomer as we move through midlife and beyond. After all, what could be more natural than looking (and laughing) at our lives at this juncture?

Having a baby practically guarantees you never get enough sleep. Plus, you’re likely dealing with the sleeplessness that often accompanies perimenopause or menopause:

Sleep deprived. Whether
from hormones or new baby,
it’s my new normal. […]

Thanking Namea During Mother’s Day

by Jo-Ann Rogan

My first child did not arrive until I was close to my 38^th birthday, so I spent years thinking Mother’s Day was someone else’s holiday. I never imagined I would have children – it was a day where I just showed love to the Moms in my life, but it was never about me.

Then I had kids.

When they were little, my husband would help, but it still wasn’t about me because babies are needy little creatures, especially when they are nursing. Eventually, I could get my kids to do projects with me on Mother’s Day. (My husband cooks and I get the kids to help me plant a garden or do other household chores which will give us time together.) My Mother’s Day is usually nice.

For some women, Mother’s Day is agony. I personally watched friends suffer through the holiday after losing a parent, struggling with infertility, or having had a complicated relationship with their own mother. […]

The Mother’s Day Predicament for Stepmothers

Trisha Ladogna and Rachel Ruby

Modern-day Mother’s Day celebrations are an opportunity to pay tribute to our mothers and thank them for all their love and support. For stepfamilies, this day of appreciation of mothers and mother-figures can raise a whole lot of something – not all of it always good!

For many reasons, it can be difficult for children, even those with the most amicable of co-parents, to celebrate both their parents and stepparents on Mother’s/Father’s Day. Mother’s Day can highlight the most intractable problems between moms and stepmoms and leave children feeling like they are fighting the ‘Battle Royale’ of internal battles out in public for their whole world to see.

As a stepmother, being ignored by your stepchildren on Mother’s Day – well, it sucks. More so, if you have been in the picture for a long time and you do a lot of parent-like things for your stepchild. Putting yourself in your stepchild’s shoes and looking at the situation from their perspective might help take the sting out of being overlooked or ignored on Mother’s Day. While considering things from the child’s point of view, you might also find that their response towards you on Mother’s Day actually has little to do with you as a person or as a stepmom, but more about their own feelings and struggles. […]

Taking Back Mother’s Day

by Nancy LaMar-Rodgers

Nancy is the infant not yet in the photo

Ode to Mom

I am the youngest of eight children. I was born in 1963, a bygone era of large families and stay-at-home moms. My mother had eight children within 13 years with a few miscarriages thrown in for good pregnancy measure.

We are Irish Catholics with no sense of rhythm and therefore yearly pregnancies were the norm.

While I remember us celebrating Mother’s Day as adult children, I have no recollection of what that day looked like for her when we were all young. I know that Mothers Day existed, because Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation in 1914 declaring it a day of honor for mothers. […]

Celebrate Your Mother-Colleagues This Mother’s Day

by Lori Mihalich-Levin

During the holiday season a few years ago, the chief of my division at work gave each of us a bottle of wine as an end-of-the-year thank you gift. Attached to the bottle was a typed note of the things she was grateful for, and at the top of the page was a handwritten, personalized note of gratitude.

To me, she wrote “Thank you for juggling work and motherhood so elegantly.” Elegence?! I was breathtaken. I was only a few months back from maternity leave after the birth of my second child, and that word was the antithesis of how I would have described myself.

Here I was, thinking I was frazzled beyond recognition, burning candles at both ends, wearing ponytails and quite possibly clothing that smelled like spit-up. And the word she chose was “elegantly”?! […]