Living Longer, ‘Midlife Crisis’ Can Become ‘Midlife Opportunity’

by Maggie Lamond Simone

“What do you want to do with your life?” It’s a question I ask my college students this time of year to help them define their goals, and I’m beginning to realize the silliness of the question. It’s almost like asking people casually at the grocery store what they did over summer break — expecting them to sum up 10 weeks of their lives in a sentence. Not an easy task. […]

How Important are Age and Energy in Parenting

by Susan Newman, Ph.D.

“She’s an older mother!” The obstetrician bellowed to the attending staff and everyone else in earshot as I was rolled in the operating room to deliver my son.

“Do you have to announce that to the entire hospital?” I cringed.

Even as more women wait until their mid-thirties and early forties to become parents, most physicians consider them to be of “advanced maternal age” and high risk simply because they’re older. In one way, the extra attention paid to each advanced maternal aged patient is reassuring. […]

Steps To Deal With Bullying

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman Ph.D.

Image from the Bullying Project

Dear Reader: Now that school is in full-swing, issues are arising. Among them – bullying. See what Her Mentor Center can suggest for you:

Remember what it was like to be in school, afraid of the big bully in the neighborhood? The documentary Bully reignited the national dialogue about this challenge for kids, following several students and their families over the course of one school year. […]

“Mothering in the Middle”

Jane Samuel

The title of this blog – Mothering in the Middle – comes at me in more ways than one.

It sums up my life because I am a mid-life mother. I am the mother who wears night sweats and ponders progesterone while also wearing the face paint my nine-year-old old recently painted over my fine lines. […]

Staying Ahead (Of The Game)….

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: We, as midlife mothers, have a never-ending (and sometimes unattainable) quest to keep current at all times, esp. given our generational gap (did I say that?). We must know what (or even more than) our kids know, while remaining contemporary. In our desire to stay hip, cool, young, I mean: tight, sick, clean, dope, sweet, bad a$$ (need help? these all mean “cool”), I’ve compiled a list of new words for 2012, which should, at the very least, catapult you ahead of your friends while playing Scrabble. Got it?

1. aha moment – a moment of sudden realization/inspiration

2. cloud computing – the practice of storing regularly used computer data on multiple servers that can be accessed through the Internet

3. copernicium – a short-lived artificially produced radioactive element that has 112 protons

4. earworm – song or melody that keeps repeating in one’s mind

5. energy drink – a usually carbonated beverage that typically contains caffeine and other ingredients (as taurine and ginseng) intended to increase the drinker’s energy

6. f-bomb – the word f$$k —used metaphorically as a euphemism

7. game changer -a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation or activity in a significant way

8. gassed – drunk

9 gastropub -pub, bar, or tavern that offers meals of high quality

10. man cave – a room or space (as in a basement) designed according to the taste of the man of the house to be used as his personal area for hobbies and leisure activities

11. sexting – the sending of sexually explicit messages or images by cell phone

12. systemic risk – the risk that the failure of one financial institution (as a bank) could […]

Meditation for Mothers

Now

No matter what the clock says, the only time is Now. That beautiful smile on your little one’s face is Now, so don’t miss it. The inquisitive eyes, the questions about love and babies, are happening Now, so don’t put them off. Your teenager is asking your advice Now, and for all you know, it may be the first and last time it happens. This moment with this child on this day will never come around again. So revel in the Now – and in every Now that’s bound to follow. Focus your attention on this moment, this book, this child, this stormy night – not on what you’re going to take to the dry cleaners tomorrow. Bring your presence to this scraped knee, to this picture of a pony, to this exquisite human connection right Now – not to a replay of the blowup you had yesterday with the man in accounting. Every time you retreat to the past or the future, you’re certain to miss what is Now.

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Tips for Going Back to School: Sexting and Parenting in the Digital Age

Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Are you concerned that your teens are back to risky behaviors on the Internet – sending inappropriate sexual pictures and texts on their cell phones? If so, you’re not alone. A recent survey of parents with children between the ages of 10 and 18 found their number one worry was not school shootings, bullying or grades, but sexting. Nearly half said their child had received some kind of racy message or image in the past. And with impulsive teens not fully grasping the gravity of their actions, many are hitting ‘send’ before they consider the consequences of their actions. […]

Truth About Consequences: Letting Children Learn from Reality

by Linda Anderson Krech

“If we allow a child to experience the consequence of his acts, we provide an honest and real learning situation.” Rudolf Dreikurs, M.D.

There we were — my four year old daughter and I, along with her twin friends and their mom, waiting with antsy anticipation for the small-town extravaganza parade to begin in Vermont’s sweet little town of Bristol. We had arrived at the town green an hour early due to a misprint in the local newspaper calendar and had spent about 45 minutes swinging, sliding, and spinning around the gazebo and playground. Energy was high, spirits were even higher, and all was well until . . . my daughter began the look-at-what-a-brat-I-can-be performance. […]

Six Ways to Beat the Blues

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Your thoughts are mental products although they don’t necessarily reflect an absolute reality. However, for you, they do represent how you feel. Some people can’t help but wear their hearts on their sleeves. Others are more able to manage their emotions and function as if everything is fine. […]

Stretching the Start of Motherhood

by Susan Newman

“This is a good article about why, in terms of fertility, it is not a wise idea to wait,” wrote a commenter in response to The Ideal Age to Have a Baby. However, a new study shows that the likelihood of having a baby after 40 is quite good.
Yes, you can reverse your biological clock. For so many reasons, we all can’t—and don’t—have our babies in our 20s and early 30s. In response to my post, 40 is the New 20 for Having Babies, here is one of several similar comments that explain why many of us come to motherhood later: “I think everyone’s situation is unique. I think if I had a time machine and could have met my husband when I was in my mid to late 20’s, we would have had 2-3 children by the time I was 35. But life doesn’t work that way. I am so blessed to have our son and, yes, even at 41, we are considering another child probably also requiring IVF.” […]

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