Commentary Archives - Page 52 of 72 - Mothering in the Middle

Thank God It’s Thanksgiving

by Suzanne Braun Levine

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite day of the year. The way I do it, it has all the advantages of a holiday with none of the oppressive side-effects. There are no presents, so there is no guilt or financial stress. The food is wonderful and comforting (with lots of leftovers). I can enjoy a jello mold or sweet potatoes with marshmallows without shame. The participants are so ill-assorted that there is no way it could be called a dinner party, so there is little worry about maintaining my cool. Moreover, there is no chance that anyone can mix up the date and ring the doorbell a day early. And somehow family is absorbed into the chaos and the calories in a way that tension is neutralized. The pleasure I feel as I gaze around the table is a far cry from the anxiety family life usually brings. Or used to. […]

Traditionally, I Never Liked Traditions…

by Maggie Lamond Simone

Dear Reader: Maggie would like you to know that while she wrote this a few years ago, and she is now 50, the situation is still the exact same…and her mother still cooks the turkey.

I’m not what you’d call Tradition Girl.

In fact, I don’t have very many holiday habits that would even be considered “traditions,” and I think it’s partly because I married and had kids late. There were many years in there spent with roommates, friends, dates, and by myself, and I’m probably single-handedly responsible for misplacing every tradition my parents might have once had. […]

Eight Preemptive Strikes for Peaceful Family Holidays

Susan Newman, Ph.D.

When I am trying to make sure the turkey doesn’t dry out or the potato casserole doesn’t burn, the last thing I want to hear is my daughters arguing about a ten-year-old slight or difference.

Whether you are the host or a guest, family holidays resurrect memories and emotions – both happy and troublesome. The added stress that comes with the holidays increases most everyone’s sensitivity. Your daughter announces she is spending the holiday with her in-laws; your brother claims the distance is too great to spend the holiday at your house. Divorced parents? With which one do you celebrate? Even if you worked out these details years ago, another issue will crop up to raise your hackles and test your mettle. Holidays touch a nerve and in the process your expectations can get squashed or dented. […]

Being Elegant

by Casey Kochmer

I am going to practice being elegant… I will start with my daughter Mina by focusing more on time to play and not being such a parent all the time. […]

Middle School Daughter Gives Midlife Mom a Beauty Makeover from the Inside Out

by Pamela Cytrynbaum

In a valiant effort to spruce me up, my daughter said it’s time for a field trip to the Holy Grail – where the worlds of middle school girls and their middle-aged mothers collide: The Mall

In a show of shockingly bad judgment, I unwittingly enlisted a few middle school girls to help me reinvent myself before the weekend when in theory I have accepted the first date I’ve been on in nearly two decades. I stand by my original contention that I am awesome as is. And yet, it is precisely because I am so awesome, so brave and open, that I have agreed to invite and withstand some rather withering tween criticism of my general comportment. […]

What Type of “Eyes” Do You See Your Child Through?

by Sheila Dinaburg-Azoff and Joan Reynolds

(Adopted from their new book, Parenting In Your Own Voice)

As a midlife parent, you’ve had a lot of life experiences that have shaped your perspectives. You’re far wiser than you were at twenty. Nevertheless, it’s sometimes a challenge for parents of any age to distinguish their own identity from their child’s identity. […]

Adoption in the Media: What Do Pregnant Women, Killers and Crying Babies Have in Common?

by Adam Pertman

When we don’t fully understand something, we’re prone to make mistakes when dealing with it. This not-very-profound truism popped into my head recently as I was thinking about how to lead into a new commentary – the one you’re reading right now – about the negative repercussions of the secrecy, stigma and shame that permeated adoption for generations and, alas, sometimes still do. […]

Some Traditions Should Be Changed

by Maggie Lamond Simone

The holidays are upon us once again, the season of family, of gatherings, of traditions. The season, in most people’s lives, of hope.

Our tradition at Thanksgiving had been for many years to head to a lodge in the country with my mother’s family; aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews would converge and catch up and try to store up enough memories to last for the coming year. One year, however, a favorite aunt was no longer there, and the tradition gradually died with her. It simply wasn’t the same without her, and so things changed. […]

Sandy Recovery – The Devil is in the Details

by Jane Samuel

I am a former Jersey gal, tough to the core, with a fast talking side to me which is quick to tell you, “I do not bump my hair!” I am also a mother who has cultivated her desire to make things better for the last eighteen years of my seemingly non-stop-parenting life. […]

Boost Fertility with Good Nutrition!

by Cindy Bailey

Dear Reader: This is a reprint of Cindy’s original blog post for us. A followup will be posted later this month. Cindy is truly a pioneer and dedicated to providing information for those trying to conceive, at any age.

Diet makes a difference in your fertility! I know from experience. At 40, after trying to conceive for over a year, I visited a popular reproductive endocrinologist who said I had a 2% chance of conceiving on my own. Devastated, I decided to do what I could to be in that 2%. I would not give up! […]