Commentary Archives - Page 51 of 72 - Mothering in the Middle

A Menopausal Mom’s Christmas List

by Maggie Lamond Simone

Dear Santa,

It’s that time of year again already, huh? Time sure flies when you’re having… well, menopause, spelling bees, and student council meetings. You’ll have to take my word on all counts, I’m guessing, but trust me. The times — and the moms — they are a’changin’. Heck, I could light up a Christmas tree without even plugging myself in! But that’s not why we’re here, is it? Let’s get down to business. […]

IVF, The Spaniard and Me

by Ellie Stoneley

The solemnity with which the two medical assistants entered the room, carrying the strange long floppy syringe as if it was the Holy Grail was almost laughable … apart from the fact that for me it was the Holy Grail. The embryo about to be transferred from the depths of the syringe into my waiting and perfectly prepared womb was the most precious most longed for mass of cells in the entire universe. […]

A Touch of Mothering for a “Mother’s Helper”

by Karin Lippert

Long before Ann Martin wrote her bestselling series The Baby-Sitters Club® I was a baby-sitter on Long Island at age 12. Looking back, I continue to be amazed that a family – a mother – would trust me to take care of three children [one an infant] at that age. It was the ‘50s and I was paid 50 cents an hour in a far more innocent time. I loved the family, enjoyed the kids. I also remember I tried one of the mom’s Lucky Strike cigarettes – cough, cough! Not good. […]

Myths and Realities of Surrogacy

Karen Synesiou and Fay Johnson

Dear Reader: This is an update of a previous post. Given the increase in surrogates and surrogacy, we thought it important to present this comprehensive review of it all.

MYTH You have to be a couple to be able to have a child through surrogacy.

REALITY We are more and more seeing single women wishing to be Mothers coming to surrogacy. Please keep in mind that there still must be a medical necessity to ask another woman to take that risk for you. Many women can still carry a pregnancy even after their own eggs may no longer be viable. While eggs mayno longer be viable after the very early 40’s, you can still carry a pregnancy into your late 40’s. The average age of women in the U.S. carrying donor egg pregnancies is 44! We are also seeing many more single men becoming a parent through surrogacy. […]

Babies on Hold…

by Elizabeth Gregory

New CDC birth data confirms that the U.S. birthrate dropped 1 percent to reach an all-time low in 2011, extending the downward trend begun with the recession in 2008. Put down your knee-jerk fears about smaller population. This drop is a good sign, foretelling not a diminished but a strengthened workforce down the line. […]

Why Midlife Rocks Your World

by Kathy Caprino

In my career and executive coaching, I work with hundreds of women each year going through major transitions. Recently, I was speaking with a fascinating client of mine — let’s call her “Carol” — who shared with me her views about midlife BEFORE she had arrived there, and then what happened when her 40s came. […]

Rose-Colored Parenting

by Andrea Lynn

My 4-year-old and I took a trip down memory lane last month. My memory lane, that is, since we were visiting the city of her birth, which we left when she was 15 months old, and of course she has no recollection. […]

The Midlife Biological Clock

by Jenilyn Gilbert

Dear Reader: Please meet our newest regular contributor, Jenilyn Gilbert – a fertility coach, certified yoga instructor, and adoption counselor.

As a fertility coach and someone personally trying to conceive in her 40’s, I have found that keeping an open mind and open heart around how your child comes to you can be quite the challenge when there are so many different ways to become a mother. Perhaps you’ve been trying naturally to conceive and you’re researching fertility doctors now, or you’ve done many IVF’s and the doctor is suggesting third party reproduction, or you’ve exhausted your biological efforts and are moving on to adoption. […]

The Storm Before The Calm

by Valerie Gillies

The body-unconscious is where life bubbles up in us. It is how we know that we are alive, alive to the depths of our souls and in touch somewhere with the vivid reaches of the cosmos. – D. H. Lawrence

I work with kids who have attachment and trauma issues. Big ones. And until a few weeks ago, I honestly didn’t know what they were feeling. Thanks to Hurricane Sandy, I have experienced more of an understanding. In my case, I call it menopausal anger disorder. (Maybe they will put that in the new DSMV to go along with shyness and some other ridiculous new psych diagnoses.) […]

Musings of a Midlife Mother

by Heather Rancourt

The occasional reminder of youth slipping away, our SKIN!

There are not enough lotions, creams, or remedies to keep up with the signs of drying. I’ve gone from a grape to a raisin. I’ve tried several products on the market; some feel like they’re working, some feel like a Darth Vadar mask; some are gooey; some have little tiny stones in them; some scare my children, but none of them seem to bring back the eternal glow.

So, I decided to home remedy this problem with oatmeal. On a health website I found, it said, “Adding instant oatmeal to your bath will soothe your skin.” I didn’t need to finish reading, I got it. Started the water in the bathtub, emptied 72 packets of my instant oatmeal into it, and proceeded to get in. All the while I was sitting in this goop, I imagined I would come out beautified. As time went on, things got heavy and thick and I could barely move my legs. I yelled for my husband; I started to panic. He came running in and yelled, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” As I tried to stand, I said, “Trying to make my skin not so dry! It’s a home remedy, help me get out!” He grabbed my hand, helped me stand up, and quietly said, “Did the remedy call for Oatmeal Brown Maple Sugar?”

Moral of the story: Keep reading – we do not know everything.

Heather Rancourt, 42, is a graduate of a boarding school for the performing arts in Washington, CT. She majored in communications at Arizona State University. Heather is the owner of Chasem2 Productions LLC, and the creator of […]