Commentary Archives - Page 32 of 72 - Mothering in the Middle

50 Is The New 40

by Maggie Lamond Simone

They say 50 is the new 40.

I’ve been hearing that more and more lately as my half-century mark is winding down its tenure. Most of my friends are saying it with a kind of trepidation in their eyes, a hopeful “please don’t freak about this – you’re not going to freak about this, are you?” sense of panic lingering just behind their encouraging smiles. Most of my friends are younger than me, because their children are friends with my children, and I started … late, let’s call it.

The truth is, I have been kind of freaking out about this. It simply doesn’t seem accurate. I remember clearly when my mom was this age, and I remember it clearly because I was pushing 30 myself. In contrast, my oldest child is pushing puberty. Our combined hormones could generate enough power to light a small town. And I’m happy when I remember his name. […]

Brain Fog and Menopause

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Jokes about menopause often get a laugh. But if you’re a woman approaching a certain age, hot flashes and memory issues aren’t so funny. It’s comforting to know that researchers are taking this seriously – a new study indicates that menopausal memory lapses are normal.

According to the results from the University of Illinois and Northwestern University, concerns about memory are not a figment of your imagination. Subjects who reported difficulties remembering did not perform as well on objective cognitive tests. And it took those who experienced more hot flashes and more negative emotions longer to solve memory problems. […]

100% Responsible Mothering, But Never Alone

by Lora Freeman Williams

Image courtesy of www.artfulparent.com

I was a single parent for one month shy of four years – the first years of Isaac’s life. Prior to having a child, I’d considered getting a dog thinking I was finally ready to take on that weighty responsibility. However, just before I took that step, I took a pregnancy test. So much for the dog.

Fortunately, I had learned a vital lesson about responsibility, while in my early 20s.

I’d been floundering with an eating disorder for a five years. I’d sulked and skulked my way through college, therapy, churches, and friendships, looking for someone to rescue me from myself. I’d found no prince nor adoptive parents, and I was deeply depressed. I wanted to die. […]

Mom on the Edge of…

by Maureen O'Neill Davis

I used to think I was an average mom, raising children under exceptional circumstances. I mean, I married at age 37 and became a mother for the first time at age 39. The word of my first child’s birth came during a month of enduring four major hurricanes and merely a few hours after being notified that our IVF procedure had failed.

I went from trying to become pregnant to having a baby and crafting a nursery, in 15 days. Nine months later, family circumstances gave way to my getting (and later adopting) two more young children. I went from zero (kids) to three in 18 months. I believe that’s a bit exceptional, and, perhaps, even a dash of the life of an “over achiever.” But, it seems that today, that’s how women our age do it, isn’t it? […]

The War Between the Sexes

by Marc Parsont

The war between the sexes never really ends. I’m not talking about the inequality in wages, the glass ceiling, the cost of dry cleaning or hair styling or being taken advantage of by mechanics in general.

I’m talking about toilet seats. Up or down. And the general leading the charge in our house is my six-year-old son. […]

Nine Tips On How to Prepare For (New Older) Mothering Over 40, 45 and 50!

by Cyma Shapiro

Photo by Shana Sureck

You are so happy! You see the finish line before you and are racing toward new older motherhood with joy and trepidation. However, you haven’t thought out the rest of this journey. In fact, I’ll bet that you haven’t thought much past the blessed event.

Whether you are marrying into a family with children, are adopting, fostering, having children through a surrogate, undergoing natural childbirth or IVF, or becoming a guardian, the end result may be the same.

Here are nine tips for planning in advance:

1) Shore up your support team – whether it is friends, family, a therapist or support group. You are about to be embark on the ride of your life. Having cheerleaders around you cannot hurt. […]

Train Up a Child

by Austin Wimberly

Train up children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it.” I grew up in a religious household, and this verse from Proverbs was one of the more oft-quoted sayings around our home. The interpretations of this idea are manifold, but the favorite one of my parents was that if they were diligent in teaching me the tenets of their faith, then, when I got older, I would be one of the faithful.

It’s a reasonable thought, but in my case, it didn’t quite work out that way.

Another way of thinking of about this verse is that, perhaps, it is speaking to discipline. If we, as parents, set well-defined boundaries like bedtimes and dietary rules (you have to eat your vegetables, etc.) and encourage our children to be ethical little people, then one day they will grow up to be ethical big people who go to bed at reasonable hours and live relatively healthy lives. This is another plausible concept, but I’m not convinced it works in every case. […]

Travelling With a Toddler

by Ellie Stoneley

Driving down to the airport, the nervous queasy feeling grew and grew. By the time we arrived, I’d quite happily have turned around and sat in traffic for another 4 hours rather than face the security queues and the stress of flying 12 hours with a toddler on my own.

I was prepared, I had the bare minimum in my hand luggage. Only, the bare minimum when you’re flying with a toddler is quite a lot. Here’s what I’d brought:

nappies

wipes

changing mat

extra vests

extra tights

extra outfits (all in case of catastrophe or flight delay)

small pyjamas

tiny cardigan (because it gets cold on the plane)

book with pictures of baby animals

stuffed giraffe

blankie

clean knickers for me

change of outfit for me

I put Hope in her buggy for check in. Joy of joys, the lovely lady on the desk was far less terrifying than her red lipstick and slicked back hair led me to believe. She blocked out the seat on the plane next to me. As the flight was fairly quiet, she also confirmed that the baby was small enough still to have a sky cot. […]

Bringing on the New Year with Vision

by Wendy Sue Noah

It’s a new year! Hip hip hooray! Doesn’t 2014 sound magical?!

I’m really into new starts of all sorts ~ an opportunity for rebirth, change and new beginnings. This includes my love for Monday’s, which seems unusual to the mainstream world. However, Monday is the start of a brand new fresh spanking week, for fresh perspectives and new opportunities. Imagine if we chose to embrace Mondays instead of hate them. Our lives would change considerably with that one conscious choice! […]

New Mom, New Year, New Beginnings

by DeAnna Scott

Courtesy, DeAnna Scott Photography

This is my 46^th New Year and my 1^st as a mom! As I hold my daughter Phoebe, I start thinking about all the firsts that we, as a family, have to look forward to this year. It is all so joyously overwhelming! My twins will learn how to crawl and then walk; say their first words, and maybe join them together to make sentences. They will learn how to hug and kiss. And, most exciting of all, they will turn One! Oh yay, a birthday party! For these reasons, I embrace the New Year like I have never in my past 46 years – with a new gratefulness and excited anticipation. […]