Commentary Archives - Page 25 of 72 - Mothering in the Middle

I Made a Promise Never to Be One of Those Sports People

by Marc Parsont

I made a promise never to be one of those sports parents, loud, obnoxious, screaming from the sidelines. I rarely get upset watching sports on television. As a matter of fact, I pride myself on calmly and cooly passing judgment on plays on both sides of the field. So why do I have so much trouble watching my children play sports?

I broke my promise in the time it took me to write it down. I just can’t understand why I can’t let it go. Let’s face it. If I can’t even watch a six year old soccer game without yelling, screaming and losing my stoic, cool demeanor, then I’ll become one of those pariahs that everyone stares at on the sidelines.

That does not stop me from being critical of the way everyone else stomps around on the sidelines. Hypocrisy is one of my strong points. […]

Frumpy No More

by Deatra Haime Anderson

Deatra’s bitstrip

When I got married 10 years ago, I moved from New York City to a rural little upstate village where a livestock feed store is the main attraction. I brought with me my nearly life-long fashion sensibility and tried, in vain, to keep rocking my 3-inch stilettos, wedge heels and tight jeans. I hobbled along, even in the grocery store, where I ignored the sidelong glances from women dressed in (what looked like to me) pajama bottoms and shoes I’d wear as slippers.

And then I got pregnant. And for the first time in as long as I could remember, I stopped holding in my stomach and discovered the mind-blowing comfort of elastic-waist pants. Part of the reason I loved being pregnant, besides the absolute joy of growing my daughter, was being able to wear whatever I wanted and not caring one single bit about my protruding belly. I put away my high-heeled shoes and strutted around in slides and flip flops. I wore my husband’s old button-down shirts and t-shirts and happily tossed on grandpa cardigans when I was chilly. I never felt freer or more comfortable in my life – it was glorious. […]

Oranges for the Buddha

by Tracy Franz

While living in our little semi-urban house here in Kumamoto, Japan, we are often visited by one of the neighbor ladies bearing gifts of whatever is in season in her well-tended garden. In spring, there are strawberries. In summer, eggplants and tomatoes. In fall, persimmons and squash. In winter, oranges. These fruits and vegetables then sit before the Buddha on our altar as an offering—for a short while, anyway—before winding up in our kitchen to be duly prepared and then consumed by the family.

I’ve always been struck by this neat little cycle of generosity: neighbors sharing their bounty; our family engaging in ritual at the altar; my husband and I preparing meals in the kitchen; and the four of us then eating in proxy for the Buddha, just as it’s done in many households and monasteries throughout Japan. It’s idyllic. Almost. It’s that last part where my genuine feeling of generosity too often breaks down and becomes complicated. The fact is, mealtimes with young children can be very, very challenging. […]

Where Do Babies Come From? A Sweet and Honest Primer on How Reproduction Works by Illustrator Sophie Blackall

by Maria Popova

Children’s questions have way of being so simple that they spill into the philosophical. And yet one particular question kids ask stumps grown-ups more than any other, hurling us into a cesspool of self-doubt as we struggle for an answer that is neither too age-inappropriate nor so obviously fanciful that it fails to get the young inquisitor off our back: “Where do babies come from?”

Thankfully, Australian-born, Brooklyn-based illustrator extraordinaire Sophie Blackall, who has given us such treasures as her visual love stories based on Craigslist missed connections and her illustrations for Aldous Huxley’s only children’s book, addresses that dreaded question with equal parts warmth, wisdom, and wit in The Baby Tree (public library) — an elegantly age-appropriate explanation of how reproduction works that neither talks down to children’s inherent intelligence nor boggles them with overly clinical dry science. […]

The Mother of All Mothers

by Beverley Golden

Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved ~ Eric Fromm

Mother. The word brings up varied reactions I know, depending on our personal experiences with our own mothers. Like it or not, without our mothers, we wouldn’t be here.

Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, my mother Lillian was primarily a “stay-at-ome” mother. It’s not that she didn’t have high aspirations for her future. Her dream was to be a dancer. However, times required she go to work directly after graduating high school as a bookkeeper for a dress manufacturer, her professional dancing dreams dashed. […]

Stand and Be Recognized

by Jane Samuel

It’s that time of year again. Time to recognize our mothers. To make them breakfast in bed, buy them expensive cards, mold clay into indiscernible lumpish presents at preschool, take them to tea or brunch or dinner, to kiss them, hug them, honor them.

But in my Momma heart it is time to fully consider them. To not only parade around and polish the shiny head’s side of the motherhood coin, but to turn it and look at its tail side too. To ask, and answer, something that perhaps we don’t consider enough – when is a woman a mother? […]

Mums, Moms and Mothering

by Ellie Stoneley

I’ve fallen foul of it several times. My brother, who lives in the Far East, gets it wrong every year. The confusion has resulted in quite the most incredible mother in the entire universe wondering what she’s done to deserve being forgotten on a day she should be the centre of attention. I’m talking about my mother, and about Mothering Sunday. Or is that Mothers Day, or perhaps Mother’s Day?

In the UK, we celebrate our Mums on a different day than when the US celebrates Moms. Back in Blighty, Mothering Sunday falls on the fourth Sunday in Lent, while in America (and most of the world), Mother’s Day is always on the second Sunday in May. Just to add to the muddle, in other countries, mothers are celebrated on special days throughout the year – from January in Myanmar to December in Panama and Indonesia.

Our current tradition of celebrating and thanking our mothers is consistent with the States, but the roots of the celebration are different again and in a fascinating and thought- provoking way. […]

My Problem With Mother’s Day

by Marc Parsont

My problem with Mother’s Day is more or less the fact that your mother should know how you feel about her without having a day dedicated to reminding her of how rotten you are as a son or daughter during the rest of the year.

On the bright side, Mother’s Day is a neat way to show that you aren’t that bad a child.

My mother is turning 80 years old next year and I think that’s pretty good for someone who has had such a rich, full life filled with both pain and joy. She survived the Nazi invasion of France, fell in love and married my father and then took care of him for 26 years after he suffered a near-fatal heart attack at age 49. She has two sons and a raft of grandchildren who love her dearly. […]

Offering a Mother’s Day – To Others

by DeAnna Scott

This Mother’s Day will be the first one I can celebrate as a mother of humans. I spent many years celebrating Mother’s Day as a mom of furry four-legged critters, but of course it wasn’t the same. In actuality, it hid the emptiness I had – an emptiness brought on by years of infertility and loss.

Women who are currently in the throes of, or those that have been through infertility, most assuredly can relate to these feelings. It is because of this emptiness that on this first Mother’s Day and all that shall follow, I shall celebrate it feeling grateful – I don’t want it to be a celebration in honor of me as a mother since it is I who has the honor to have been blessed with my two baby humans.

Yet, I can’t help but contemplate the emptiness of the remaining members of the moms-in-waiting alliance. It’s a club no woman wants to be a part of; you don’t volunteer for it and you certainly don’t search it out. But you pay your dues – you have no choice in the matter. As a matter of fact, you pay years of dues reluctantly learning that often this quest for motherhood is a journey, not a sprint. At least for us in the club. […]

Having Faith as a Mother

by Heather Griffiths

Lately, I’ve found myself internally struggling with the same two questions: “Is motherhood all that I dreamed it would be?” Yes, and then some! “Did I ever imagine, in a million years, I would feel as blessed and as challenged as I do now?”– No, never!

This year, I have experienced more challenges as a mother than I ever have in the past. For example, in the past three days I’ve gone from the exhilaratingly proud moments where my son sings out his praise to God unabashed and passionately on the school’s stage to frustration and defeat when he is in the throes of a temper tantrum of epic proportions. […]