Commentary Archives - Page 22 of 72 - Mothering in the Middle

5 Issues to Discuss with Tweens and Teens before They Go Back to School

by Jay Scott Fitter, MFT

Back-to-school time always comes with a mixture of emotions for kids. They’re excited to see friends again, but may have trepidation about fitting in with new social groups. As a result, they may experiment with new behaviors in order to be accepted or simply not “stick out.”

High school is a microcosm of our society. Within those walls are future gangbangers, drug dealers, murderers, teachers, doctors, lawyers, and engineers. The groups your children choose to associate with can have a significant impact on which path their future will take.
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7 Techniques for Conquering Back-to-School Fear
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7 Techniques for Conquering Back-to-School Fear

Commentary, Daily Living

7 Techniques for Conquering Back-to-School Fear

by Jude Bijou MA MFT

Fear is natural when we’re about to go back to school or off to college, because we’re dipping into the unknown. The newness makes us feel as if our very survival is threatened. Whether we’re nervous about the rigorous academics, living away from home for the first time, or the pressure of new social groups, it’s helpful to remember that fear is a completely natural reaction for students. Everyone else has the same feeling, regardless of what he or she seems to be presenting to the world.

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Preparing For a Tough Exchange
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Preparing For a Tough Exchange

Adoption, Commentary, Daily Living, Mothers Over 50

Preparing For a Tough Exchange

by Tina Traster

In so many ways, Julia is a young soon-to-be twelve year old. Though she’s in middle school, she’s unconcerned with fashion, boys, or other pre-pubescent experimenting.

My daughter Julia, adopted from a Siberian orphanage at 8-months old, is on track intellectually but is still catching up emotionally. She is a wonderful violinist and a gobsmacking artist and an honor student, but she hasn’t yet learned how to make a BFF, nor, and I suppose I should be thankful, she had not attached herself to a clique. My husband and I are her whole world. […]

A Mother’s Musings – At Forty-Six

by Judith Lee Herbert

Devi Sri, the flying Balinese
Goddess of Fertility, with her gold crown,
deep green carved wings unfurled
and reaching upwards,
pale white arms wrapped round
orange and red baby bunting.

She is suspended serenely
like a star in the sky of my bedroom,
as I hang in the space between
forsakenness and motherhood.

I worship her, but do not offer her
jasmine, lotus and incense,
though perhaps I should.

I treasure the fortune from my fortune cookie
“Your fondest dream will come true.”
I savor my mother’s dream of me:
Wearing a red dress, walking,
holding the hand of a little girl.

And then Dana arrives.
Bursting through the gates of impossibility
whooshing through the halls of the unexpected,
from the heavens into my arms.

Judith Lee Herbert has returned to poetry after a successful career in another field. She graduated Cum Laude in English Literature from Columbia University. She has a daughter who is a sophomore in college, and she lives in New York City, with her husband, who writes plays. She had her daughter when she was in her 40s.

Ready for College? (Six Ways to Support and Prepare Your Child)

by KnowsyMoms

If you’ve got a teenager, then you know how baffling and beautiful they are at this tender age. You’re probably wondering how you will make it through this challenging time, and may even have concerns about whether they will ever be ready to go to college. After all, wasn’t it just yesterday that you were stressing out about whether they would ever be potty trained? As difficult as it is to fathom, the reality is that your kid will be heading off to college before you know it.

While academics are obviously important, there’s a lot about going to college that has nothing to do with school work: moving away from home, adjusting to a new environment, making healthy choices, self-advocating, managing stress, and balancing school and fun–just to name a few! […]

Vacations Aren’t for the Weak at Heart
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Vacations Aren’t for the Weak at Heart

Commentary, Daily Living, Midlife Foibles!

Vacations Aren’t for the Weak at Heart

by Marc Parsont

The fact that I don’t have Type 2 Diabetes comes as a shock to every medical practitioner I see. I’m just coming down from the sugar high I had last night at Rehobeth Beach, Delaware.

They had a bonfire at the beach where they provided marshmallows for children to roast or as it appeared to me, flame them down to a charred, black tar suitable only for sliming back into the primordial ooze. […]

Seven Tips for Navigating the Adoption Process

by Michelle Eisler

Imagine putting your most treasured desire into the hands of a stranger. Someone you have neither met or seen, with the understanding that days, weeks and months may pass before you hear from them. You are constantly battling the urge to email them to see if your dream is any closer to coming true, but it’s all you can think about.

Building your family through adoption is a matter of trusting in the unknown. Whether you are a waiting parent, hoping to be selected by a potential birth mother or planning to adopt internationally, there is no easy way to make this a reality. Below is a list of suggestions on how to feel like you are making informed choices. […]

The Bridge Years

by Austin Wimberly

When I was in my thirties, I remember some of the forty-year-olds at work talking about getting older. They would talk about how their metabolism had slowed, how their hair was thinning, how youth was wasted on the young. And they would sort of give each other those knowing looks that seemed to say “Hang in there” or “It’ll be alright.” I chalked up this overheard confiding to a kind of bonding over Prufrockian misery.

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Half-Way Through Summer/Half-Way to School

by Marc Parsont

It’s the middle of summer, but the ads have started coming already. Buy backpacks and shoes and pencils, lunch boxes, book covers, shirts, slacks, shorts.

We spend nine months getting through school and then another three months selling them gear, garbage, puff, fluff and Spam (and I really mean Spam…the other Lunch Meat) to go back there.

Even though Labor Day and the beginning of school is far off, you can begin to see that glimmer of hope and eagerness beginning to betray itself. The gear just starts those juices flowing.

Those tendrils begin to show at odd times, early mornings, late afternoons, when they don’t think they’re being watched. Little grins and slivers appear randomly. The complaints begin to taper off. The moans and whines stop being repetitive, and get replaced by moments of pure silence and peace. […]

Vacation II

by Maggie Lamond Simone

It’s good to get away.

The family unity experienced at the start of a vacation is a thing of beauty. The sense of expectation is high and positive attitudes abound. Vacations provide bonding opportunities for both parents and children that will last a lifetime. There is no fighting, no crying and very little whining

We try to vacation at least once a year. We usually go to beaches because I’ve been on a quest to find a conch shell on the beach for the last forty years or so. We’ve been to Maine (no conch shells), Cape Cod (no conch shells), and North Carolina (no conch shells.)

With each conch shell failure, I become more dejected. It bothers my husband almost as much, I think. He hates to see me sad, because he loves me and also because my clutter tends to worsen. “Hey, here’s a thought!” he helpfully chimed in during this year’s planning process. “Let’s find out where the conchs are, and go there!” I ignored his sarcasm and booked a trip to the Gulf Coast of Florida. […]